Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Tuesday Tirade, the kindler, gentler, One Direction edition

Good news, Snarklings! The 'ew' is gone! Yes, we did manage a good, thorough cleansing at Casa Snarkfest this past weekend. Well, the downstairs, anyway. Not like I'm going to invite company over and then we'll go hang out in the filthy, dirty bedroom, right? No, you guests will stay downstairs on the only clean floor of the house and you'll like it!

More good news! The crap that's been making its way through the family seems to be on the downside. Two weeks ago, 13 got sick with a high fever and headache. That moved to her eyes, she got pink eye a sore throat. Next, 15 got sick with a fever and earache. Once the earache cleared up, she got very throaty and sounded like Kathleen Turner with a side order of Brenda Vaccaro for a week. Next, the husband got sick. It was touch and go there for awhile, but we were so happy that he pulled through and survived the mancold without us having to go have a will drawn up. I had the priest on standby just in case last rights were in order, but he faced down that horrific disease and came though the other side alive and well. Love you, honey.

Even MORE good news, the little non-profit I work for had a front page article written about it in this past weekend's Washington Post Sunday Magazine. Check it out! We're so stoked!  As if that wasn't cool enough, they also came to our little burg and shot some video of our office staff, and I make my video debut in the last 3 seconds of the clip. Don't blink or you'll miss me. The video is at the top of the news article. See, Snarkfest is more than just a place to go and read my rants. You can also get edumacated too! BONUS!

Moving right along, I'm looking for input. My wonderful, amazing and adorable chilluns think I'm going to take them to the midnight premiere of the 1D concert movie (stay with me here, it's One Direction). The release date is August 30, which amounts to midnight on the 29th. A Thursday. A school night. In order for me to do that, heaven and earth will need to be moved. The impossible will have to be possible. Something so unbelievably tremendous will have to occur, it will be worthy of CNN, MSNBC and FoxNews to report on. (okay maybe not FoxNews) That's right: rooms will have to be clean. And not just be clean but KEPT clean. I know, I'll have an easier time juggling cats than hoping for this to happen. But if they really want me to take them to the midnight premiere, it'll have to happen. Otherwise, I may not EVER take them to see it. So here's where I ask for your input. A poll, if you will.

A)  If they clean their rooms by no later than Sunday August 11, and if they KEEP them clean, I will take them to the midnight premiere, pay for their tickets AND popcorn.

B)  If they don't clean their rooms, I will have nothing to do with the One Direction movie, they should not ask me to take them, they should not ask for money to go see it, they shouldn't even mention the words 'One' or 'Direction' to me.

C)  Some less harsh combination of the two.

What do you think, Snarklings? Give me some feedback.


  1. NazirunningcrackhoAugust 6, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    HMMM here it goes. Their rooms should be clean no matter what is going on out there in 1 Direction land it should not be a bribe. NOW...if they want to earn extra money to go then they have the ability to do extra extra chores around the house. This does not include the daily emptying of the DW, folding and washing their own clothes and cleaning up their own kitchen & bedroom mess. I would say if they clean the bathrooms once a week, mow the yard and clean up the land mines once a week in the backyard without you evening breathing a word of did you do this...NO 3 strikes your out. It is finished when you tell them. I see it like this... we all work hard and we enjoy bonuses so they need to pull their fare share of regular duties and if they want a bonus they have to work hard for it.

  2. Take them! My son who is 21 still talks about the time I got him out of elementary school early to go to a Pokemon' movie. Not sure I ever topped that coolness as a parent.
    Also think of all the times you can use the line " but I stayed up all night to take you to the 1D movie."

    My feeling on bedrooms is that they came with doors for a reason. My boys are 18 and 21 and many times MY bedroom is the messiest one. The "company" part of the house is always neat, but I have to hide the stuff/laundry somewhere......

  3. Personally, I think you should have your head examined for even *thinking* about going to a One Direction *anything*.

    Absent that, I agree with Nazirunningcrackho, and it's not often that agree with a Nazirunningcrackho, make 'em earn it. :)

  4. A!!! Do it Do it!!! And maybe it will become a habit (fingers crossed!)! And if they have to juggle cats poor Dumbass with be dizzy and cold after escaping from the fridge! Or move to the midwest - we don't start school until 02 September.

  5. Teresa would've had to clean THE HOUSE. And she would have.

  6. I'm impressed you are even considering it - you are much nicer than I am. I took my daughter to the 1D concert, but I'm not letting her go to the midnight showing on a school night - even if she cleaned the house from top to bottom. Well, maybe then...

  7. All of this 1D talk lately has only solidified how grateful I am for boys! I can imagine nothing worse.

    Stopping by from The Hump Day Hook Up (and just general stalking)

  8. How about a middle of the road option? If they fail to meet your deadline and/or keep them clean, but they do at least clean their rooms at some point, then you'll take them to see a matinee on Saturday instead?

    1. That's a possibility. Very remote, but it's possible. :)

  9. Now I feel a bit inadequate for already buying the tickets for my girls! I could have totally got them to clean! Dammit!
    I am a bit jealous because back 'home' in the USA you get so many more 1D concerts and events. In the UK we hardly get to see them!
    I think this is one of those things they will always remember and can't wait to go with them. Now I am wondering if buying us all 1D t-shirts would be overkill...


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