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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Friday, August 2, 2013

ew

I've got a confession to make. I am a lousy housekeeper. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking  "But Snarky, you have two teenagers living at home, off for the summer! How can your house be a disaster?" Well, let me just explain. Yes, I DO have two teens, yes they are home for the summer. But they aren't much on cleaning. I'm not saying they don't clean, but.... wait, yes I am. THEY DON'T CLEAN.

Let me give you an example, and please believe me when I tell you that I had NO intentions on posting this picture, but my friend Sio basically forced me into it. She saw it in my living room and said "Oh you have to blog about that." At first I was like, "No, I'm embarrassed, everyone will know I'm a terrible housekeeper." But the more I talked with her, the more I realized that the house is NOT just my house. The residents of my house really DO need to help me keep it clean. And that's why I asked 15 to please get a dust rag and some Pledge and clean the bottom of the coffee table. Instead, I found this:
For those of you who can't read it, it says "My mom is a shitty housekeeper"

That's right, it says 'ew'. Thank you, 15, instead of cleaning it, you pointed out to me that the dust is so thick on the bottom of the coffee table that you can write your memoirs there. Instead of helping me out, you took it upon yourself to judge my cleaning skills. But you only succeeded in making MORE work for yourself. Because when you get home from band camp today, you will not only have 'ew' to clean up, but you'll also have the 'gross' dust on the bookshelf, the 'nasty' dog snot on the windows and the 84 lbs. of 'yuck!' dog hair on the hardwood floors to clean as well.

Perhaps the next time I ask you to do something, you will forgo writing your opinions on the dust and just clean it up so I don't have to call you out on my blog.

By the way, if you look REALLY closely, you can see cat paw prints in the dust. Dumbass just wanted to leave her mark in the dust to remind me why I call her Dumbass.

8 comments:

  1. Don't feel too bad. I have two daughters, 6 & 10, that think house work is akin to catching scurvy.

    I had to get them a sledge hammer & a chisel to clean the dust off the TV stand.

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    Replies
    1. I'll bet they can write some interesting stuff in that dust!

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  2. Your house is perfect! Trust me - I clean other people's houses! If 15 does that again - tell her I'm taking her to one of the nastiest messes I clean regularly!!!

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    Replies
    1. With PLEASURE, Joy!!! It's deliciously evil!

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  3. Seriously. If you have children and your house is super clean, then I would think you are a weirdo. Yep, a cleaning weirdo. Let sleeping dust lie.

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  4. I can't begin to tell you how lucky you are not to have a teenaged BOY...think about it....BOY. Yeah, gross, really gross.

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  5. If the dust on the coffee table were pee on the bathroom floor, I doubt that 15 would have written "ew" in it (or anything else for that matter). That's what my 14 gets to clean from now on. If he can't improve his aim, he can clean the shrapnel.

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