My not-so-secret crush on Mike Rowe

Anyone who knows me knows I have a huge crush on a certain former host of a show on Discovery Channel that may have had something to do with doing jobs that are dirty. I love the sound of his voice when he talks about Ford vehicles, Viva paper towels or Medi-Gap pharmacies. (ok that's an old one). I love that he never seems to take himself too seriously. I love that he's so self-deprecating. I'd enjoy sitting down (maybe on his lap) and having a beer with him. Maybe 6. And I'd love to have the opportunity to prove to my husband, once and for all, that Mike Rowe is not gay.

Sexy, dirty image courtesy of The Real Mike Rowe's Facebook Page (in this image, it almost looks like he's gazing longingly up at my profile pic in the upper right corner, doesn't it? I think secretly, he wants me too)

Not that there's anything wrong with that. If he was gay, I'd be totally okay with that. Sure my heart would be broken over the fact that, should the possibility ever arise that I DID meet him in person and we had the chance to play hide the salami, he'd prefer my husband's salami over mine. But eventually, I'd get over it. Maybe. Probably. Whatever. My point is, my husband has been insistent, ever since we became acquainted with the delicious Mike Rowe, that he's gay. This is his argument:

Mike Rowe:
Sang opera in the days before his notorious gig on QVC. (that doesn't make him gay)
Close to 50 years old and still single. (that means NOTHING!)
Lives in San Francisco. (ok shut up)
You never see him with a woman. (his sweetie-by-the-bay likes her privacy, so sue her!)

That list is SO unfairly stereotypical. SO WHAT if he sang opera, lives in San Francisco and is still single. If we're going to go that route, would a gay man EVER allow himself to be covered in mud, coal dust, bat guano, garbage, slime or bird crap? I'm telling you, this man is hard, rugged, sexy and definitely hetero. He's messy, he wears baseball caps (I've never seen a gay man wear a baseball cap), he's NEVER mentioned RuPaul's Drag Race on ANY episode of Dirty Jobs OR Deadliest Catch. So please, darling husband, let me have my fantasy.

Just look at this guy:

Image of the NOT gay Mike Rowe courtesy of mikeroweworks.com

How sexy is that picture? And the best part? Those flies buzzing around his head? Apparently MANY of them ended up in his mouth. Not by HIS choice, but seriously, how manly is he? He discusses it in one of the many posts he makes on his Facebook page. I love that he's a down to earth kinda guy. I've been stalking him following his career for a long time now, and I've never heard a bad word spoken about him. He is most definitely on my list. Come on, you know the list. You have one too. And so does your spouse/significant other/life partner. and Mike is high up on my list.

So Mike, if you're in the area, and are looking for a nice game of hide the salami, my husband will let me out to play. Unless you'd prefer my husband's salami. Then we'd have to negotiate.