Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Then this happened.

I really need to concentrate more when I dole out chores. Seriously.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Holiday Traditions

Bringing back a classic Snarkfest post for the holidays. Merry Christmas everyone!

Since it's September 25, exactly 3 months away from the Christmas Holidays, I thought I'd share with you one of the traditions we had in my family growing up, especially since it feels like fricking December outside right now. My family was pretty tiny. My parents divorced when I was 7, and when I was 12 my big brother left to go into the Marine Corps. Once he left home, it was just mom and me. Mom did her best to make every holiday special, and Christmas was almost always one of my favorites. But from the time I was 12, I almost always made things pretty easy on my mom. It sort of went like this:

Mom: Here's the Sears catalog, pick out a few things for yourself.
Me: Like, clothes?
Mom: Yes, maybe some outfits and if you see any toys you might want, circle them and we'll see what we can do.
Me: Bitchin!

Ok not really, but the reality of it was, she was a single, working mom, taking care of me, the house, the bills, the laundry, etc. so if Mom needed easy, easy she would get. So I'd follow the tradition of going through the Sears catalog (and on an aside here, does anyone REMEMBER how BIG the Sears catalog was back in the day??? Jesus, you could stand on the Sears catalog and reshingle your roof without the aid of an extension ladder, it was THAT BIG!) But I digress. I'd search the pages and find some pretty tops and some dorky pants (I didn't own my first pair of jeans until I was like, 15. Geek? Party of one? Your pants are ugly). And then I'd flip to the back of the book where the GOLD MINE awaited me. Snoopy snow cone makers!! How effing cool were they??? Barbie three story town house WITH THE WORKING ELEVATOR!?!?!?! Oh my God it was almost to much to take in!!

So getting back to the family tradition, I'd pick out some stuff, Mom would order it, pick it up, wrap it and on Christmas morning I'd open my presents and say "Wow, I love this top! How did you know???" or "Oh Mom I love these pants!! All the dorky 12 year olds will think I'm the shit!" Ok that wasn't actually the tradition. The tradition in my house was, you went to Midnight Mass (which was at 8:00, I think our Monsignor may have had plans at midnight so he always went a bit early) and then came home and you got to open one present. Now, remembering everything you've read up to this point, can anything ever really be a surprise here? Well guess what! You're right, nothing was ever a surprise. Until the one year I went a little nuts and circled a cork board in the Sears catalog. I wanted a Snoopy cork board for my room so I could hang up stuff. Like my posters of Scott Baio and John Stamos (don't judge, Chachi was my world before he was Charles in Charge. Blackie Parrish said goodnight to me every night from my walls and my cork board).  Now the year I picked out the cork board, everything went as planned. Mom and I went to Midnight (8:00) Mass, came home, lit the fire place and I got to go through my presents and pick one to open. Since I knew what almost everything was, it wasn't like I was going to open one and say "Oh my God!!! It's they keys to a DeLoreon!!! How did you know??!!?!?!" But there was this tiny little present on the floor behind all the boxes of tops and dork pants. And when I picked it up, it made a funny sound. "What's this??? I don't recall circling anything this small!" Could it be a surprise??? Could Mom have gone for the two point conversion??? How cool!! I would FINALLY be surprised on Christmas!! Life was going to rock. I was going to open this little noisy box and find a pretty necklace or earrings that I wasn't expecting!

I tore open the pretty wrapping to find...........push pins for my cork board.

Surprise!!!!! Do you LOVE IT?!?!?!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Merry Christmas! Did you eat yet??

Merry Christmas, Snarklings! If you're a regular visitor to the old SnarkfestBlog you'll know that I am NOT a food blogger. Do I love to eat? HELL YEAH! But I don't blog about food. Until right now. I'm going to share with you a recipe that I've made since 2000.  And everywhere I go with this recipe, people love it. LOVE. IT.

I found it in a magazine called Taste of Home back in 2000 when my mother in law gave me a subscription (remember magazines??)  The first time I made it, my husband and kids liked it. Then I brought it to a Christmas party and I was practically mauled for the recipe. I've since made this dessert every year and it continues to spread joy and expanded waistlines everywhere it goes. Trust me when I tell you, it's REALLY EASY. I don't do difficult recipes. I'm lazy like that.

So from my family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy this delicious treat. And if you like it, share it and come back and tell me if you liked it.

Photo courtesy of Taste of Home Magazine Online
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
2/3 cup chopped macadamia nuts (I buy the small bag and chop them in a chopper or food processor)

8 oz. package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 can (15 oz.) pear halves, drained
cinnamon/sugar mix

 Making the good stuff: 
1. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in vanilla. Gradually add flour to the creamed mixture, then stir in the nuts.

2. Press into a greased 8" square pan. Bake at 350°  for 20 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on a wire rack about 20-30 minutes.

3. In a small bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth. Beat in the sugar, egg and vanilla. Pour over crust.

4. Cut pears into thin slices (about 1/8" thin); arrange in a single layer over the filling. Sprinkle cinnamon/sugar mix generously over the pears.

5. Bake at 375° for 28-30 minutes (center will be soft-set and will become firmer upon cooling). Cool on a wire rack for 45 minutes. (Your house will smell AMAZING!!!!)

6. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours before cutting. Store uneaten (WHAT??) dessert in the fridge. Yields 16 bars.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Trump for President? NO THANK YOU!

Here's a warning before you read this. The opinions in this blog post are my own. I'm not getting into a debate about my opinions. I'm just sharing what my thoughts are, because it's my blog. If you disagree, don't start an argument with me, no name calling, and don't be rude. Rude, mean or hateful comments will be deleted. Because it's my blog.

I cannot begin to understand how in the world Donald Trump is ahead in the Republican polls. What is WRONG with people? I am the last person in the world who wants to get into a discussion regarding politics, but I can't keep my mouth shut anymore. And while I do understand that people are sick to death of politicians, electing THIS 'businessman' would be detrimental to our nation.

I worked for Donald Trump in Atlantic City back in the 90's. He filed for bankruptcy four times. FOUR. The man does not pay his bills! He wheels and deals and then leaves his contractors in the lurch. Those contractors are men and women with families to feed, and he never paid them what he owed to them. I say again: the man does not pay his bills. From the linked article:

Trump doesn’t deny that four of his businesses have filed for bankruptcy. He argues, however, that filing for bankruptcy is a common business decision, and he was smart to make the moves when he did.
"Hundreds of companies" have filed for bankruptcy, Trump said earlier in the debate. "I used the law four times and made a tremendous thing. I'm in business. I did a very good job."
How is he going to run the country if he cannot manage his own finances?  Our country is already in financial straits so how is electing a man who is totally out of control in his own business finances going to get us back on track? He may be a genius businessman but his personal skills, quite frankly, suck.

Mocking reporters with disabilities? That's goddamn disgusting. THIS is who people want representing our country to leaders of other nations? NO! I am utterly and thoroughly horrified that the possibility even exists that people are going to elect Donald Trump as President. He is unbelievably full of himself.  He is a blowhard, a bully, and now, IN MY OPINION, a dirty liar.

Now he is claiming that he watched Muslims celebrating in New Jersey the day the Towers fell in NYC.  Were there Muslims celebrating? Yes, but not here. Not in the US and not publicly in the streets, as Trump claims. I saw them on the television, but that was international news coverage and they were not in New Jersey. But this is what he believes. In his twisted, bloated, self-serving brain, he honestly believes the shit that comes out of his own mouth. And what scares me even more is that millions and millions of Republicans also believe what he's saying.

I was in New Jersey that day, standing side by side with Jews, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Blacks, Whites, Chinese, Indians, Pakistanis, Spanish and we cried. We all cried as we watched the coverage. In a casino chock full of people from all races, religions, all walks of life, we all stood together as one and we cried. There was no celebrating, as Trump claims.

I keep thinking that this nightmare will end, I'll wake up one morning and find that Trump really ISN'T running for President, that he really ISN'T in the lead in the Republican polls. But dammit, every morning I wake up and people are still believing the hateful shit that he's spewing.