Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

How I Spent My Summer Vacation, Snarkfest-style

Hey Snarklings! The leaves are turning lovely shades of orange, yellow and red. The college marching band season is in full swing (college football season..... tomato/tomahto) and I'm looking back on an awesome summer in this post. 


Yes, I'm wearing a bathing suit

The first full week of June, I went somewhere I'd never been before! OBX BABY!!!! My Ride or Die bish, Susan and I went to Kill Devil Hills for the week and we could not have asked for more perfect weather. This summer our trip was way warmer than last summer when we went to OCMD and froze our asses off the whole week. This year, temps were in the 80's and the sun was out all week. It was AH-MAY-ZING. Our girl Jazzy Jen met us for the first 2 days, which we spent on the beach drinking Tito's and Tea and watching pelicans dive bombing fish for hours. After Jazzy Jen left us, we spent the rest of the week on the beach drinking Tito's and Tea and watching pelicans dive bombing fish for hours. I did run every morning while we were at the beach, just to break up the monotony of Tito's and Tea and dive bombing pelicans. 

I spent my birthday weekend (July 4th for those planning my party for next year) with friends and loved ones laughing and drinking and laughing some more. We had family come in from the beautiful Pacific Northwest during the month of July so naturally I had to show off our gorgeous vineyards (I'm looking at you, Big Cork!) 

I got to participate in helping put together a charity golf tournament in late July to learn how to do it because last week I had my own charity golf tournament to host to benefit our local Rotary Club. This summer, I took over as chairperson for our Rotary Satellite Club and so far I'm doing an okay job of "fake it til you make it."

We bought new beds for the girls' rooms and I had some of my very best friends come to visit in late July and August and they didn't have to sleep on twin beds that were over 20 years old! WINNING! 


Tybee Beach, bishes. It was awesome

At the end of August, Ride or Die bish Susan and I joined 12 of my closest (fully vaccinated) Duranie girlfriends on the beach in Georgia for a long weekend and it was pure bliss. I did not realize how much I had missed all of their faces until I got to hug and squeeze them all. The last time many of us had been together was in 2016 for a Duran Duran concert in Washington DC, so this reunion was long overdue. On our last night there, we went to the beach and watched the stars and saw the Milky Way. We all downloaded the SkyView Lite app and saw some incredible things. This is probably my favorite picture from the whole trip:


Stargazing on our last night

September was spent running around all over the 3 state region (WV, MD and VA) picking up raffle prizes for our Rotary Golf Tournament, which I'm happy to report went off without a hitch last Friday. We raised a lot of money, gave away a lot of really cool prizes and are already planning our 2022 Rotary Golf Tournament.

Friday night, after the tournament had finished, the hubs and I had Mexican food for dinner and a pitcher of margaritas, and I was sound asleep by 9:30. 

It was an eventful summer, my friends, and I loved every minute of it. And I'm looking ahead at a cool, crisp fall with lower temps and no humidity. 21 and I are running a half marathon in October (she'll be 22 by then, so I'll need to change my description on the old blog). It will be the second one we've run together! 

Tell me what you did this summer! Did you have fun, despite the global pandemic?

Thursday, June 24, 2021

SURPRISE!!! A New Post! All About the Eyes.

Well hello there, you! How've you been? You look amazing, is that a new shirt?

Yeah, I know. It's been a hot minute since the last time you saw me here but I am writing to let you know that I've just had to make a change to the old blog and wanted you to be the first to know. Many of you (ok 173 but who is counting?) subscribed to the old Snarkfest Blog through that little "subscribe" button there on the right side of the page. The platform that managed subscribers on Blogger is going away and I had to switch over to a new platform to make sure that everyone who wants to see me in their inbox gets that chance (that sounded dirty). 

The new platform is called Follow.It so when I put up a new post, the email you receive to notify you that I've written something new will be from Follow.It. Truthfully, I don't understand much of the technical stuff related to the blog. Hell, I'm lucky I can Forrest Gump my way around to actually post a blog, hit publish and not have my computer explode, so YAY ME! 

In other totally unrelated news, GETTING OLD SUCKS. 

I turn 54 next week and while I'm in fairly decent shape (I run 5 miles every day, I try to eat semi-quasi-healthy-ish) there is something going on with my eyes. I was painting our guest room last weekend with my oldest daughter, 23, when I started seeing flashes and weird things. There had been a fly in the room and after I finally killed it, I kept seeing something flying around out of the corner of my eye.

EYE am watching you. My actual eye after dilation. I know. Uber creepy. Sorry.

"Dammit I swear I killed that little bastard!" I groaned.

"You did, mom. There's nothing there" said 23. 

While I didn't actually feel like I had anything in my eye (like paint, an eye lash, dust or a Corvette) I definitely was seeing something odd out of my right eye. I did the whole eye wash thing, had 23 check my eye to see if she could see anything but nothing helped. Naturally we checked Dr. Google and Dr. WebMD, and they both suggested I had a retinal tear. With visions of needles poking in my eye and other horrific ideas, I called an ophthalmologist first thing Monday morning and was lucky enough to get an appointment to see him Tuesday morning. 

After dilating both eyes and shining REALLY bright lights in both, the doctor put me at ease when he repeatedly said "no retinal tear" after each instruction (Look up to the ceiling in the left corner, no retinal tear. Look down to the floor on your right, no retinal tear, etc). So good news, no retinal tear.

The bad news is, I've got vitreous detachment. Basically the goo inside my eye is shrinking and it's causing what looks like cobwebs floating around the inside of my eyeball (not the technical terminology). I'm at a greater risk because I'm nearsighted (for those of you who, like me can NEVER remember which is which, I can see near, but I need glasses to see distance). Dr. WebMD says that if you get it in one eye, lucky you, you'll likely get it in the other eye within a year. 


What I've got isn't fatal, it doesn't hurt, I will live and eventually I will get used to these floaters. But the fact that I'll be 54 and try to take good care of myself, but my eyes seem to be rebelling against me makes me really cranky. Who else here has eye issues? Apparently it's common for us folks over 50 to start deteriorate, so speak up and let me know I'm in good company. Please.

If you liked this post (seriously I'm bitching about my eyes and my age, what's not to like??) and want to read more of my posts, feel free to put your email in that little box on the right. My last blog post was in February, so OBVIOUSLY it won't be like I'm stalking you. You'll see me in your inbox only occasionally and I promise I'll be fully dressed. I may have a cane, dark glasses, a cup with pencils and maybe a seeing eye dog the next time you see a new blog post from me, but at least you'll be up to date!

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

You are enough

Well hello there! I was inspired by my friend Eli over at Coach Daddy to dust off my blog and try my hand at writing something again. So here goes.

Obviously if you are a follower of all things snark, you'll know that over the course of the past 4 years I have really let this blog fall by the wayside. Probably has something to do with the fact that we had an orange tumor in the White House and I got tired of constantly bitching about it. It was exhausting. I bitched on my personal FB page as well as my Snarkfest page and just felt like I was screaming into the void over and over again. So I stopped writing here altogether.

For now, I'm going to write a little something about accepting yourself without exception. My friend Vicky posted a picture of herself the other day on the Facebooks and she was wearing these pants that she loves and wears all the time. Her reason for wearing them so much is because she thinks her legs are ugly, and wide leg cut pants camouflage her trouble areas. But she said that she hates her legs and it's okay. I commented to her that I totally feel what she's saying. No matter how much weight I have lost, my calves and thighs are tree trunks. I will never, ever wear skinny jeans and that's okay with me. Because I run 5 miles every morning, and longer on the weekends. Those tree trunks get me to where I need to go. Do I like my legs? Nope. I don't like them at all, but they are my legs. They function well, I can walk, run, jump, dance (ok that's up for debate) and move. 

They are splotchy with weird veins, they are flabby in spots, lumpy in others, but who cares? I need to stop, no WE need to stop beating ourselves up over perceived imperfections. My arms are flabby. Totally my fault. I ate like there was no tomorrow, I gained weight everywhere, then I lost weight and my arms are still flabby. Bat wings. They flap when I'm waving hello and they are still waving when I put them down. And you know what? Who cares? My tree trunk legs and bat wing arms don't define who I am. I do that. Through my words and my actions. 

I birthed two amazing and beautiful human beings, and am trying to raise them to be good human beings. How flabby my thighs are means nothing to them. The fact that I am a loving mother to them is what they care about. And one of the things I love about THEM is their acceptance of their body image. Those girls got the cakes and are totally fine with it. I have taken a page from their books. How's that for growth?

So why do we constantly beat ourselves up because we don't think we are thin enough, fit enough, ENOUGH? We need to stop looking at social media and comparing ourselves to everyone else. Nothing there is real. Literally EVERYTHING is fake. Filters, airbrushing, photoshopping, none of it is real. So stop beating yourself up because you're a size 12 or 20. What good do you bring to this life? What do you do for others and for yourself? Judge yourself on those things and not your bat wings. Those bat wings are attached to hands that could lift others up. Those tree trunk legs are attached to feet that move, so move those feet and bring yourself someplace where you can do good things with those hands. 

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Hopefully I'll be back soon with more snark. Stay tuned, Snarklings.