Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 23 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Thursday, June 24, 2021

SURPRISE!!! A New Post! All About the Eyes.

Well hello there, you! How've you been? You look amazing, is that a new shirt?

Yeah, I know. It's been a hot minute since the last time you saw me here but I am writing to let you know that I've just had to make a change to the old blog and wanted you to be the first to know. Many of you (ok 173 but who is counting?) subscribed to the old Snarkfest Blog through that little "subscribe" button there on the right side of the page. The platform that managed subscribers on Blogger is going away and I had to switch over to a new platform to make sure that everyone who wants to see me in their inbox gets that chance (that sounded dirty). 

The new platform is called Follow.It so when I put up a new post, the email you receive to notify you that I've written something new will be from Follow.It. Truthfully, I don't understand much of the technical stuff related to the blog. Hell, I'm lucky I can Forrest Gump my way around to actually post a blog, hit publish and not have my computer explode, so YAY ME! 

In other totally unrelated news, GETTING OLD SUCKS. 

I turn 54 next week and while I'm in fairly decent shape (I run 5 miles every day, I try to eat semi-quasi-healthy-ish) there is something going on with my eyes. I was painting our guest room last weekend with my oldest daughter, 23, when I started seeing flashes and weird things. There had been a fly in the room and after I finally killed it, I kept seeing something flying around out of the corner of my eye.

EYE am watching you. My actual eye after dilation. I know. Uber creepy. Sorry.

"Dammit I swear I killed that little bastard!" I groaned.

"You did, mom. There's nothing there" said 23. 

While I didn't actually feel like I had anything in my eye (like paint, an eye lash, dust or a Corvette) I definitely was seeing something odd out of my right eye. I did the whole eye wash thing, had 23 check my eye to see if she could see anything but nothing helped. Naturally we checked Dr. Google and Dr. WebMD, and they both suggested I had a retinal tear. With visions of needles poking in my eye and other horrific ideas, I called an ophthalmologist first thing Monday morning and was lucky enough to get an appointment to see him Tuesday morning. 

After dilating both eyes and shining REALLY bright lights in both, the doctor put me at ease when he repeatedly said "no retinal tear" after each instruction (Look up to the ceiling in the left corner, no retinal tear. Look down to the floor on your right, no retinal tear, etc). So good news, no retinal tear.

The bad news is, I've got vitreous detachment. Basically the goo inside my eye is shrinking and it's causing what looks like cobwebs floating around the inside of my eyeball (not the technical terminology). I'm at a greater risk because I'm nearsighted (for those of you who, like me can NEVER remember which is which, I can see near, but I need glasses to see distance). Dr. WebMD says that if you get it in one eye, lucky you, you'll likely get it in the other eye within a year. 

Bitchin'!!

What I've got isn't fatal, it doesn't hurt, I will live and eventually I will get used to these floaters. But the fact that I'll be 54 and try to take good care of myself, but my eyes seem to be rebelling against me makes me really cranky. Who else here has eye issues? Apparently it's common for us folks over 50 to start deteriorate, so speak up and let me know I'm in good company. Please.

If you liked this post (seriously I'm bitching about my eyes and my age, what's not to like??) and want to read more of my posts, feel free to put your email in that little box on the right. My last blog post was in February, so OBVIOUSLY it won't be like I'm stalking you. You'll see me in your inbox only occasionally and I promise I'll be fully dressed. I may have a cane, dark glasses, a cup with pencils and maybe a seeing eye dog the next time you see a new blog post from me, but at least you'll be up to date!

2 comments:

  1. Girl, back in the day (like 1990-1995, before LASIK), my husband & I decided to get Radial Keratotomy. Basically, it is an eye surgeon clamping your eye open and then cutting into your eye into a starburst pattern while you are awake and conscious. Sounds like a horror movie, right? They give you lots of sleeping pills so you sleep for like a whole day, then when you wake up, you can see out of that eye perfectly. Obvi, they do the best eye first, cause some people chicken out after the 1st one is done. My husband waited one whole year after my surgery before he got his done, "just in case I went blind". Real nice, huh?! Anyway, now that RK is no longer done, every time we go to the eye doctor, the ophthalmologist always asks us to let the student docs look at our eyes to see if they can tell why our eyes have starburst cuts around our pupils, like we are some kind of living history museum. I can creep almost anyone out by telling them how it feels to see the scalpel coming toward my clamped-open eye. Of course you cannot feel it because they numb your eye, but you have to be awake and alert while they do it.
    Anyway, I will be 59 in October and I'm afraid it is all downhill...expect pieces of your body to start malfunctioning and falling off.
    Love reading you, girlie...keep up the good work!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know people who have had RK and just the idea of seeing the scalpel coming at my eye makes every muscle in my body tighten with fear.

      I'd be happy if my ass fell off.

      Thanks for reading Deb!!

      Delete

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