Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Friday, June 28, 2013

Interview with 13

Hard hitting questions, that's the key to good journalism. Get the story, get to the meat of the matter. That's just what I did when I grilled 13, using techniques such as Chinese water torture and waterboarding, I got the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.

Ok that was a bit overly dramatic, but I did have fun reading her answers to some of the questions I gave her. I'd have posted 15's first but she hasn't finished them yet. She's too busy cleaning her room...


Ok, now, on to the interview:

My questions are in blue. 13's answers are in fuschia (because I like that color)

What's the most fun family vacation we've ever taken, and why was it so fun?
Disney World, because it's fricking Disney World!!  (what can I say, she's got excellent taste)

What's your favorite thing to do with your Mom, and why?
I love those heart to heart talks we have because it gets us time to better understand each other. (insert obligatory 'awwwwwww' here).

Same question regarding your dad?
I would say basketball, but I like talking to him about the future, because I get excited for those talks.

What is your idea of a great family night? What makes it great?
I think we need more family game nights. Those are really fun. I did that with Donovan and Simon's families and they were fun, so why not our family? (probably because we suck at time management, but whatever. We'll try)

What's your favorite thing about being you? What makes it so great?
I like being me because, NOT TO BRAG, TRYING HARD NOT TO, I have gotten an early start to the sports that I like so I am relatively decent at most sports I play. (she kicks ass, trust me) I do like being the captain of the team.

After you've died, if you could come back as anyone in the world, alive or dead, who would it be and why?
I kinda wanna come back as a military kid who moves around everywhere. If I ever have a problem, I'm moving soon anyway, it's whatever! And you never really have to get hooked on a place, you can just travel to new places all the time and be free. That would be really fun.  (I found this answer to be extremely interesting, because she's never mentioned it before. Her friend Simon travels every few years so I think she may envy that. Grass is always greener, isn't it?)

Describe your relationship with your sister. What's your favorite thing? Least favorite thing? Why?
I like her. (thank God, because it's too late to return her) Her talks are really great for the most part (UNLESS SHE'S TEXTING WHILE I'M FRICKING TALKING!) But she really seems to know how to handle my problems. I don't like it when she thinks it's okay to harm me because I said or did something that she didn't like. It hurts me more than she realizes. AND ONE DAY I'M GONNA BE BIGGER SO SHE WON'T WANNA MESS WITH ME! (#truth)

What's your favorite thing to do with your friends?
Basketball (Simon) / Mario Party 7 (Hannah) (Indoor/outdoor friends, gotta love 'em!)

Tell me about your greatest childhood memory so far.
I will ALWAYS remember jazz season 2013. Getting to play for the Senators (in Washington DC) and going to Arts Alive (in Charleston, WV). That showed me that we were so much better than I thought we were. The small middle school practically out of the state made it big. We made it. (mom was pretty darn proud too!)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Happy Birthday, Hubby.

Another year older, wiser, and hotter. 
Wishing a very happy birthday to my husband, my best friend and my partner in all things wise-ass. 
Love you Poobs.
Back off, ladies. He's mine. 

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tuesday Tirade. Under the Dome.

Okay maybe it's too early to start making judgement calls but I'm annoyed. Last night, I watched the first of 13 installments of Stephen King's "Under the Dome", the TV miniseries based on the novel by Stephen King.

Let me give you a little history. When I was in 4th grade I read The Shining. Did I mention I went to Catholic school? Sister Catherine never had a clue, she was too busy eating or yelling at the boys to care what I was doing. I LOVED that book, I LOVED the feeling I got when I read it, being scared of the things I was envisioning in my head. I'm not a big fan of scary movies, slasher flicks, I never saw Saw. I actually made my friend leave the theater within the first 20 minutes of A Nightmare on Elm Street because it was too creepy. But you give me a good horror novel, one that I can sink my fangs into and my imagination goes NUTS. But in a good way. I can read when I'm home alone at night during a storm. I can read on the beach under the hot summer sun. I. Love. Horror. And I'm a Stephen King fanatic.

So imagine my disappointment with so many of his movies! With only a handful of exceptions (Creepshow, Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption and most notably The Green Mile), most of the movies based on King's novels smell awful. Believe it or not, I did enjoy the original movie version of The Shining, however when ABC remade it staring Steven Weber (the other guy from Wings), I was tickled that they changed the scene where Danny is walking through the topiary and, from his peripheral vision, he can see them moving, but when he looks straight at the bushes, they are still, but in a different position than they were before. That part of the book absolutely excited me, and when I finally saw it on screen, I was just beside myself. It was exactly as I had envisioned it in my head when I was reading the book.

Fast forward to the opening scene of Under the Dome, and nothing is as I remember it. Keep in mind, I am only 2/3 of the way into the book, so I'm not truly into the blood and guts of the whole shebang yet, but there are so many things that aren't consistent with the book, I'm beginning to get discouraged. If you haven't read it, you'll probably want to just stop reading because you'll get bored and nod off. You may even drool on your keyboard a little. Don't blame me if it shorts out, I warned you.

For those of you still with me, here's my problem (ok I've got many). The book opens on a beautiful October day with the plane crashing into the dome. Nowhere in the opening of the book do we see Dale Barbara (Barbie) burying a body. Junior Redding kills Angie and her good buddy Dodie, he doesn't lock Angie in a bomb shelter. Angie is a waitress, NOT a candy striper! Julia Shumway is SINGLE, not married to a doctor. And what the hell is up with Barbie burying the doctor that Julia is supposed to be married to??? Linda the cop is married to Rusty, the doctor from the hospital, NOT the fire fighter on the other side of the dome. I thought Linda was a fire fighter or EMT. AND furthermore, Linda and Rusty are NOT newlyweds, they have been married for long enough to have 2 daughters. They have a dog who senses one of their daughter's seizures! So why are they mixing things up so much??? Oy vey, watching it, I found myself going 'what? wait, what?' so many times my family was probably getting irritated. They'll probably start their OWN Tuesday Tirade blog post.

I'll keep watching and I'll keep reading and I'll see if I get further annoyed or if it'll all start to tie together as it goes on. If you're watching and/or have read the book, give me your thoughts/feedback. I'd love to hear what you think so far.

And on a POSITIVE note, I'm down 3 lbs. as of yesterday morning. So far, my Soft to Sculpted program from LeanMoms.com seems to be working well!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

LeanMoms plan update: Day 4

Hold me, I'm scared. I hate posting pictures of me, ESPECIALLY in nothing but a bra and workout pants, but I'm doing it. I'm pretty disgusted with the way I look, but on the bright side, I am still 25 lbs. LESS than I was this time 4 years ago. (hey I take my bright sides where I can get them, okay?) So anyway, if you check out Snarkfat: My Journey page you'll see my before pics. I'm currently on Day 4 of the Soft to Sculpted plan from LeanMoms.com and so far I'm eating well and feeling great.

Don't worry, I'm not going to be posting an update every 29 seconds, that'll get old and boring really quickly. I promise. But as I start seeing results, I'll keep you posted. But no more pictures until the end of the 12 weeks. In the meantime, go have a look at my before pics. But make sure you haven't eaten anything, I'd hate to be the cause of anyone tossing their cookies.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Tuesday Tirade: Changing Plans

Today's tirade is a result of broken plans. Plans that fell apart, for me, several weeks ago. Not going into specifics, but a plan was made. A nice family plan. Then one person made a decision which changed the whole balance of the plan. One person turned the whole pretty plan completely on its ear. One of us was then left out of the plan. No biggie, someone has to hang out at home and watch the dogs, right? Still a family plan, just not the WHOLE family. It's all good. Hubby and the girls will still be able to be together, and I'll be with them in spirit. (*note: it wasn't hubby or the girls who were responsible for the change)

Until last night when the one person who made the plan-changing decision before suddenly backed out. Last minute change of plans, so sorry, can't make it. Now it's too late to get the time off without causing headaches, too late to plan on someone caring for the dogs, getting the mail, etc. Too late to get laundry done, clean the house and get packed so we can make it the family plan it was supposed to be several months ago when we first planned it. So honestly, as much as I will enjoy having some quality time with Henry, Cosmo and Dumbass, it would've been better if I would've been able to follow the original plan.

If the van wasn't rear-ended last year by an assbag taxi driver, the whole plan would've worked. Room for 8 in the van, only room for 5 in our car, so that sort of pisses me off, retroactively. It'll be fine, I'm okay, I'll just miss what's happening with my family this week. Thank goodness for texting and the internet, right?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Exciting weekend, exciting first week on LeanMoms!

Hola Snarklings!! I write this early Monday morning before I head to work, after a fantastic weekend away in New Jersey. Got a chance to visit with my BFF Mandie on Friday night and want to send out a HUGE congrats to her daughter Steph, who will be opening her school's talent show this week. She's an amazing singer!! And another BIG shout out to her son Scott of the Warminster Phillies who play in their championship game tonight!! Go Phillies!!!

Spent Saturday with Mom and was lucky enough to travel to Sea Isle City with Mom and 13 where we had the opportunity to see my Uncle Terry's band, The Mickey Finn Band perform at Kix-McNutley's. Great little bar and a fantastic band. I was thrilled that my oldest and dearest friend Diane and her mom could make it up to see us! And who should the Mickey Finn Band invite up on the stage to perform 2 songs with them but my one and only 13!! She and Uncle Terry both play the Alto sax and they played beautifully together. What a cool opportunity for a 13 year old girl. So blessed.

Back at home today and starting an exciting new program from the ladies at LeanMoms.com This morning I started with my girl Lisa the Nazicrackho, and we took our measurements and before pics and got started on the program. My program, the Soft to Sculpted Transformation Program is a 12 week meal and exercise program designed to help me to get fit, have more energy, and feel stronger and better about my body. Because right now, I'm not feeling it. I will be blogging each week about my progress on the program and if I'm feeling brave enough, I just may post some pics of me before and after. I will keep track of my progress and let you all know about it on the Snarkfat: My Journey page here on the old blog. LeanMoms has a Facebook page and provide awesome support to those on the program, answering questions, providing tips and tricks to make the program really work well. I can't wait to dive into it and have already enjoyed a delicious omelet this morning. Got my salad with some chicken and almonds all ready to go for lunch and the tilapia is ready to go for dinner tonight. Go have a look at their site and their Facebook page, and if you have any questions, just ask. If I don't know the answer, the ladies at LeanMoms will surely have one. They've been a great source of help thus far.

So that's what's new in Snarkworld. Wish me luck and stay tuned!

Hey, here's a quick update for you:
Courtney over at Fry Sauce and Grits is holding a giveaway for a LeanMoms.com membership! It's a Rafflecopter giveaway so if you're interested, go have a look, read Courtney's story about her 35 lb. weight loss and enter to win a LeanMoms.com Molly Membership for life with a value of $197!  The giveaway ends on June 24th and the winner will be announced that day.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Importance of Feeling Safe

I had my apartment broken into years ago when I was in my twenties and that feeling of being violated was horrible.  I was able to SEE the robber (yes he broke into my bedroom window and woke me from a sound sleep) and it was a frightening and tangible thing. But being a victim of identity theft is a deeper and more scary violation. You never see the thief, you can't pick them out of a police lineup. They work behind the safety of a computer screen and you never know it's happening to you until it's usually too late.

We try to protect our children from stranger danger, tell them to walk only on the sidewalk, be safe by wearing a bike helmet when they go for a bike ride, wear elbow and knee pads when roller blading. But how do we protect our family from this type of intrusion? Our children put out information daily online. Where they are, what school they attend, where they're going, who they'll be with. We do it ourselves. We're just as guilty. Who hasn't posted "Can't wait til my vacation starts tomorrow!!" on Facebook or Twitter? You're practically inviting someone to break into your house because they KNOW you're not going to be home. We leave ourselves wide open for someone to violate our personal space, our privacy. When you put your date of birth, your maiden name or other information that's helpful to identity thieves, it makes it that much easier for them to become you, if only long enough to open a line of credit, or try to purchase an item using your identity.

So what do we do to prevent this? Pretty simple. Disclose nothing. Show as little information to the general public as possible. Ask your child this: would you tell a stranger where you live? would you give a stranger your phone number? would you invite a stranger to come into your house and have a snack? That is metaphorically what we're doing when we put information out online about ourselves that anyone has access to.

It's extremely important to have a plan in place. Keep important things to yourself, don't divulge information that could result in someone taking advantage of you or your family. Come up with a method of keeping your family's personal information private and NOT for public consumption. Plans such as LifeLock can help. LifeLock helps prevent credit fraud and identity theft. LifeLock is a leader in identity theft protection. You can keep your family safe. You do it every day. But having a plan in place such as LifeLock only helps to give you that extra sense of safety and security when you or your family put things out online that may not be as safe as you think. Better safe than sorry.

*FTC DISCLOSURE REQUIREMENT: Snarkfest aims to provide unbiased editorials. However, I wish to disclose that from time to time I may receive free products or other compensation from companies for blogger reviews.

Learn more about LifeLock:

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tuesday Tirade: Octomom Welfare Fraud

This just burns my bacon. And you know how I love me some bacon. Turns out 'Octomom' Nadya Suleman is being investigated for welfare fraud, according to HuffPost. Just when I thought I could rest comfortably without hearing her name ever mentioned again, BOOM, here she is again in the media spotlight. What an ass. Turns out that while accepting welfare and other public assistance, she made over $200K last year between stripping and porn. What a great example she's setting for those impressionable 14 kids of hers!! If you can't earn enough by being a sex object, by all means, rely on the system to pay your bills for you! It makes perfect sense.

This makes me sick. I have absolutely NO problem with people who go on welfare to get by temporarily because they have no other means. But for this jackass to have the AUDACITY to seek public assistance because SHE got HERSELF into a mess by having a freaking battalion of children and not knowing just how to take care of them without all that stress, which then caused her to check into a treatment facility for [an addiction to Xanax, (which her reps deny)] anxiety, exhaustion and stress, GAH I could just slap her. I'm sorry, I have NO sympathy for her. SHE made this mess, she made her bed and it should NOT be the rest of us who have to clean up after her. If you can't afford to have 8 babies at one time, here's a thought, you SHOULD NOT HAVE 8 babies at one time. That's common sense. Instead of giving this asshat public assistance, perhaps we should all take up a collection and buy her some common sense. OR maybe she needs to be smacked upside the head with a clue-by-four.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tuesday Tirade

Happy Tuesday, Snarklings. Well, happy for you maybe. But I'm pretty pissed off. Last night I got a text from 13 at 3:00 that her end of the year track banquet was to be held at the middle school at 6:00 and we were responsible for bringing a beverage. Yay. Nothing like a little short notice to put me on edge.

I finished work at 5:30, drove home and had her feed Henry and Cosmo and we headed for the Food Lion to get some Cokes to take with us. I gave 15 and 13 some cash and my MVP card and they went in while I waited in the car to check my voicemail. While I was listening to my mom's message, two guys pulled up in a car next to mine and got out laughing. It was as they were walking past my rear bumper that I heard a strange noise. Kind of like something being pulled off the back of my car, but I really didn't pay too close attention because mom was still talking on the voicemail, so I forgot about the noise.

After the track banquet, I headed over to the middle school library for the PTO meeting at 7:00. When we left the meeting at 8:30 I stopped at the back of my car to find this:
Shut up, I know my car is filthy.
Someone HAD, in fact, STOLEN the giant Phillies magnet off the back of my car. I was, and am still PISSED at this theft. FURIOUS even!! That was MY magnet, MY property. Who the hell would rip it off the back of my car?? What gives them the right to think that they can just take something that doesn't belong to them from someone else's car?? Maybe if they weren't Phillies fans they could've just made a rude comment, but to rip the magnet off my car?? Really?? I went back to Food Lion on my way home, scoured the parking lot, looked in the trash, and went to customer service to see if anyone had possibly turned it in. No luck.

So to whomever decided that it would just be fucking hilarious to steal a magnet off the back of my vehicle, I hope you get a mind-blowing case of herpes, a scorching case of crabs and an oozing case of gonorrhea. I hope your nuts shrivel up and fall to the ground and you step on them. I hope you can't sleep at night from the guilt I'm sure you have over taking something that wasn't yours. You're an asshole, and I want my magnet back.