Tuesday Tirade

Happy Tuesday, Snarklings. Well, happy for you maybe. But I'm pretty pissed off. Last night I got a text from 13 at 3:00 that her end of the year track banquet was to be held at the middle school at 6:00 and we were responsible for bringing a beverage. Yay. Nothing like a little short notice to put me on edge.

I finished work at 5:30, drove home and had her feed Henry and Cosmo and we headed for the Food Lion to get some Cokes to take with us. I gave 15 and 13 some cash and my MVP card and they went in while I waited in the car to check my voicemail. While I was listening to my mom's message, two guys pulled up in a car next to mine and got out laughing. It was as they were walking past my rear bumper that I heard a strange noise. Kind of like something being pulled off the back of my car, but I really didn't pay too close attention because mom was still talking on the voicemail, so I forgot about the noise.

After the track banquet, I headed over to the middle school library for the PTO meeting at 7:00. When we left the meeting at 8:30 I stopped at the back of my car to find this:

Shut up, I know my car is filthy.

Someone HAD, in fact, STOLEN the giant Phillies magnet off the back of my car. I was, and am still PISSED at this theft. FURIOUS even!! That was MY magnet, MY property. Who the hell would rip it off the back of my car?? What gives them the right to think that they can just take something that doesn't belong to them from someone else's car?? Maybe if they weren't Phillies fans they could've just made a rude comment, but to rip the magnet off my car?? Really?? I went back to Food Lion on my way home, scoured the parking lot, looked in the trash, and went to customer service to see if anyone had possibly turned it in. No luck.

So to whomever decided that it would just be fucking hilarious to steal a magnet off the back of my vehicle, I hope you get a mind-blowing case of herpes, a scorching case of crabs and an oozing case of gonorrhea. I hope your nuts shrivel up and fall to the ground and you step on them. I hope you can't sleep at night from the guilt I'm sure you have over taking something that wasn't yours. You're an asshole, and I want my magnet back.