Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Those crazy Smith kids!!

Seriously, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was a fake interview, satire, a spoof. But sadly, it's not. These kids really ARE from another planet way far away from West Philly. 

Thanks to RachRiot for hooking me up with this New York Times article, I now have the pleasure of tearing it apart for your reading enjoyment. Because that's what I do.

Willow, 14 and Jaden, 16, famous kids of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith were interviewed by Su Wu. (I swear I am not making that up) and what they have to say will have you scratching your head. If you're not left scratching YOUR head, can you come and scratch mine?

Su Wu: I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist.

ME: What??? Slow down, Holmes, what the hell is up with that? Did Hermione give you that time shifting necklace or something?

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.
WILLOW: Because living.  (whoa, deep dude)
JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There’s a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it’s living.
ME: Really? There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds??? Why am I just now hearing about this? I'm not getting paid enough if this is true!!
 SW: What are some of the themes that recur in your work?
W: the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made. 
ME: Say what, now? Holographic reality? What is this, Star Trek? She's asking if boys, or dancing or drugs or ponies are a recurring theme, Einstein. 
SW: How have you gotten better?
J: When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness.
ME: What's the opposite of an apple? And if thinking about an apple AND the OPPOSITE of an apple is a tool for mathematics, why isn't it being taught in school? We could make a fortune with the common core shit with this tool! (and by 'tool' I'm talking about Jaden Smith)
SW: do your collaborative relationships inspire you in different directions? 
W: Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good.
ME:  Ah, chocolate. Now we're talking. Maybe not about your music but I am hungry for a Hershey bar. 
SW:  So is the hardest education the unlearning of things?
 J: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

W: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.

J: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.  

W: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.
If there's one thing I can't stand it's a teenagery kid! So much with the angsty with those teenagery teens in normal school!!
I can't read anymore because I need to go lie down from the deepness of this whole article. Uncle Phil is now rolling over in his grave.  

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

$100 Target Gift Card from Hyundai? That's #Smarter!

That's right, Hyundai's #Smarter Campaign is in full swing and they are offering a prize of a $100 Target Gift Card to one lucky winner who watches a video in the Rafflecopter form below and leaves a comment ON THE YOUTUBE VIDEO (not here on the old Snarkfest page). Hyundai wants to know what you think of their Hyundai Smarter Campaign, so watch a video on YouTube and leave a comment THERE (not here) then come back and fill out the entry form below!!

So to recap, watch the video, leave a comment there, then come back HERE and fill this out. What have you got to lose?? a Rafflecopter giveaway Yep, this is a sponsored post but all opinions are my own.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

OMG! I'm In The Powder Room!!!!

No, not literally IN the actual room but today I'm poppin' my cherry and appearing for the very first time In The Powder Room with my post on losing my virginity and how my 13 year old (at the time) called me out on the carpet about it!! Check it out here! I am so excited to be In The Powder Room!

Monday, November 10, 2014

A&E's new show DOGS OF WAR....A sneak peek!

Hubs and I were watching something on the tube last weekend and we saw a preview for a new show on A&E called DOGS OF WAR and I turned to him and said "That looks like something I'd really want to watch!" He shook his head and went back to watching whatever show we had on. That's sort of his way of saying "Yes, Dear." Whatever. Flash forward to later in the week, I received an email asking if I wanted to watch the premiere episode before it airs tomorrow, Veteran's Day (Tuesday, 11/11 at 10:00 p.m. EST on A&E). YES!!! YES I DID!!

They just asked if I would please give it a fair review, which I'm about to do. If you'd like to see a preview of the new show, DOGS OF WAR, watch it here. Then scroll down for my review.

My family all got together on Saturday evening and watched the premiere episode and 3/4 of us enjoyed it. You can guess which 1/4 of us thought it was 'okay, but I'm not sure how they're going to make a series out of it.'

The show features Iraq war veteran Jim Stanek who has returned home from the war suffering from PTSD. He has heard that therapy dogs are extremely helpful to veterans in his situation, but what he didn't realize was the cost (anywhere from $10-$60K) and the amount of time it takes to be paired with a therapy dog. He starts his own non-profit organization called Paws and Stripes, in which he rescues dogs from kill-shelters, and pairs them up with veterans in the same situation that he was in when he came home from the war.

The first episode tells the story of Army PFC Michael Spillar. Michael suffers not only from PTSD but a laundry list of physical ailments and psychological issues such as sleepwalking, tremors, anger issues and night terrors. Upon their first meeting, Jim and Michael bond over finding out that they were both in the 82nd Airborne Division. Jim knows how badly Michael needs the assistance of a therapy dog and makes it his mission to pair him up with just the right one.

The cameras follow Michael and his family as they take a trip into their little town and every sound he hears and every experience that Michael goes through is jaw-clenchingly hard for him. He says at one point "I'd rather have my leg just blown off, to show that something's wrong with me." PTSD isn't something that you can see like a rash or a cut.

Jim goes to the dog park at the Humane Society to watch the trainers at work with several dogs, hoping that one of them will be a perfect fit for Michael. It is at this point that I realize that I'm so much happier watching a show where someone truly cares about rescuing a dog from a shelter AND helping a vet see his way clear with the use of a therapy dog. I'd rather watch something like this, with a positive outcome for everyone involved than to watch people stranded on an island plotting against one another for a million dollar prize.

I won't give away what happens or whether or not Jim finds a good matching therapy dog for Michael, you'll have to tune in and see for yourself. But I will tell you this: I really enjoyed watching this premiere episode and will be tuning in again when the show moves to Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. EST on A&E starting next Sunday 11/16.

*Disclaimer: I was not paid for this post, but they are sending me some cool DOGS OF WAR bandanas for my dogs. Both dogs are happy about the free swag, but that in no way influenced my review.

Wanna Win a $100 Target Gift Card?

You guys know me. You know I'm smart and savvy. And snarky. You also know that I've got 2 daughters who plan on going to college and mama's got bills to pay. So when I was approached by Hyundai to share their Smarter Decision Campaign I was all like, "yeah. I'm in."  Cuz I'm smart and savvy. And snarky. But you knew that.

Anyway, Hyundai reached out to a number of smart, savvy ladies (like me!) to talk about the smarter decisions they make in their everyday lives. They asked them to create a video to coincide with this fall's 2015 Hyundai Sonata launch. See below for this video full of some smarter options for when you're traveling. And because they're pretty fricking awesome, they're also giving you a chance to win a $100 Target Gift Card. Easy peasy, right?

So check out this video, and then enter the Rafflecopter giveaway below the video. And have yourselves a Snarkalicious day, okay?

Here's the Rafflecopter so you can enter to win that $100 Target Gift Card just in time to do your holiday shopping. BONUS!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

**Just so you know, this was a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.  

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Guesting over at Ten to Twenty Parenting

Remember that Homecoming dress nightmare from a few years back? That story is up on Ten to Twenty Parenting! Please go over and read the story and feel free to leave a comment. It may just be new to you!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Tuesday Tirade: Teen Edition

Hey Snarklings, today's tirade isn't a me-related tirade so much as it is a Teen Tirade. Let me set the scene:

We were at FedEx Field on Saturday night for the Notre Dame vs Navy football game. My Father-in-Law graduated from Notre Dame in 1814 and has access to seats at Notre Dame games, and he had purchased 4 tickets that he was unable to use. Don't ask.

So naturally, since there are 4 of us and 4 tickets and we are just over an hour away from FedEx Field, it only made sense that we use the tickets.

Somehow or other, we landed in the parking lot closest to the stadium, literally a 100 step walk to the stadium steps. Did I mention there was no one to take our money? Yeah, we parked for free in the Platinum lot, the FRONT ROW, to quote Bob Euchre. And our seats were PHE-NOMINAL. Seriously, row 13 right behind the end zone.

Perfect, right? Except for the fact that it was FUH-REEZING and the wind was wicked. Luckily we all dressed in layers upon layers with hats, gloves and blankets.

Right after halftime, both my girls wanted hot chocolate (marching band is in their blood, because the band goes immediately to the concession stand after their halftime performance). We handed them a $20 bill and sent them on their way. 30 minutes later, they still hadn't returned. Considering the fact that they are teenage girls with teenage hormones in a stadium of like, 40,000 Navy Midshipmen, I wasn't surprised. They were off enjoying the sights.

Pardon the pun, but it was a sea of Midshipmen
They got back about 40 minutes after they left, and they were pissed.

17: "We waited in 2 different lines!!! Once we got to the front, they were all like, 'oh sorry, you must've missed the announcement, we're all out of hot chocolate.' It was ridiculous!! So we ended up getting coffee instead. GRRRRRRRR."

These girls were cold and angry. But they got even angrier when not 30 seconds after they sat down, the hot chocolate guy came around with steaming cups of chocolate deliciousness. Hubby and I just looked at one another and cracked the hell up. They were SO. MAD.

Have an awesome Tuesday folks.