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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Those crazy Smith kids!!

Seriously, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was a fake interview, satire, a spoof. But sadly, it's not. These kids really ARE from another planet way far away from West Philly. 

Thanks to RachRiot for hooking me up with this New York Times article, I now have the pleasure of tearing it apart for your reading enjoyment. Because that's what I do.

Willow, 14 and Jaden, 16, famous kids of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith were interviewed by Su Wu. (I swear I am not making that up) and what they have to say will have you scratching your head. If you're not left scratching YOUR head, can you come and scratch mine?

Su Wu: I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist.

ME: What??? Slow down, Holmes, what the hell is up with that? Did Hermione give you that time shifting necklace or something?

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.
WILLOW: Because living.  (whoa, deep dude)
JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There’s a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it’s living.
ME: Really? There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds??? Why am I just now hearing about this? I'm not getting paid enough if this is true!!
 SW: What are some of the themes that recur in your work?
W: the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made. 
ME: Say what, now? Holographic reality? What is this, Star Trek? She's asking if boys, or dancing or drugs or ponies are a recurring theme, Einstein. 
SW: How have you gotten better?
J: When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness.
ME: What's the opposite of an apple? And if thinking about an apple AND the OPPOSITE of an apple is a tool for mathematics, why isn't it being taught in school? We could make a fortune with the common core shit with this tool! (and by 'tool' I'm talking about Jaden Smith)
SW: do your collaborative relationships inspire you in different directions? 
W: Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good.
ME:  Ah, chocolate. Now we're talking. Maybe not about your music but I am hungry for a Hershey bar. 
SW:  So is the hardest education the unlearning of things?
 J: Here’s the deal: School is not authentic because it ends. It’s not true, it’s not real. Our learning will never end. The school that we go to every single morning, we will continue to go to.

W: Forever, ‘til the day that we’re in our bed.

J: Kids who go to normal school are so teenagery, so angsty.  

W: They never want to do anything, they’re so tired.
If there's one thing I can't stand it's a teenagery kid! So much with the angsty with those teenagery teens in normal school!!
I can't read anymore because I need to go lie down from the deepness of this whole article. Uncle Phil is now rolling over in his grave.  


  1. Ummm I don't know if it's because I'm in the UK, but what in the hell are these kids saying? I have a 15 year old daughter and an 11 year old, neither have teenagery angst (whatever that means) and I understand everything they say. I have many, many friends in the US who also are teenagers, and again I can understand everything they say. The Smith's children however sound as if they are from another planet, but then they are Scientologists so maybe that's the answer, or they've been taking something they shouldn't have, either or. Tessa from the UK.

    1. I couldn't agree with you more, Tessa. I had to read and re-read their answers again to see exactly what the hell they were saying and most of it I STILL don't get. Much fun was had in the skewering process, though.

  2. Ok, now my head hurts. I would like that moment which lasts a year, please.

  3. I've read this three times and still don't understand it. Damn, we're getting old!

  4. They are either totally busting Su Wu's balls or they are screwed up beyond repair. Ridiculous.


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