Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Wow! I must be psychic!!

I feel like I brought this on. Maybe it was just too much pressure, maybe I drove him to do it. But yes, I'm taking the blame for Bieber's antics. I'm thinking he probably read my last post and just could NOT bear the thought of me changing my name because of his behavior and that drove him to go out, take prescription drugs (that his mother allegedly gave him), smoke weed, drink booze, rent a Lamborghini and do 60 in a 30. My bad, yo.

I had no idea that when I posted my blog on Monday, it would drive him to do something so drastic. It's really unbelievable to me that I wield so much power, and yet I can't get my own children to clean up the kitchen after they make hot chocolate. I must be an amazing resource for other parents. Maybe I'll start renting myself out. I'm like the douchebag whisperer! Think about it: I posted on Monday about his antics and how I don't want my name to be that closely associated with his, and BAM! As if on cue, he goes out and proves his dumbassedness!

I need to be much more careful in my posts from now on. Wouldn't it just be AWFUL if I posted a blog about how badly I wanted to win the lottery....and then like, two days later, I DID?!?! Or maybe I should re-think posting that blog about how I would desperately LOVE to meet Mike Rowe! Wouldn't it just be horrible if he showed up in my town and I met him in a coffee shop and we fell instantly in love?? (sorry honey, but..MIKE ROWE!!!) No, that would be just TERRIBLE. So I will refrain from writing a post about my meeting Mike Rowe and having him fall in love with me. The consequences would be tragic (to my husband and family, for me, not so much).

The possibilities are endless! If you're looking for me, I'm off to go work on that blog post about how Jennifer Lawrence and I should become best friends.


  1. Oh, you totally made that happen. Because there is no way anyone could have seen that coming. And no way he was headed in that direction on his own. It was totally you.

    Quick favor: Can you write a post about Jason Bateman becoming my boyfriend?

    1. Yes, he was probably minding his own business, on his way home from a church service, and I corrupted him.

      Totally all over the Jason Bateman post. Maybe you and Jason and Mike and I can double date?

  2. Douchebag whisperer. That right there? Is the best funniest thing I've read about Bieber all week! (Well, except for your other post.)
    If you're looking for your next client, you should google SHia LeBouf (or however the heck you spell his name) The Girl and I have taken to referring to him as LeDouche. His neighbors would probably hire you on the spot! *grin*

  3. Are you taking requests? Work on that blog post where I get my books published!


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