1. Have someone bring her a change of clothes
2. Sit in in-school detention
3. Change into a shame suit
Ok that third one is just embellished a little on my part. She said they never gave her the other 2 options, only #3, which consisted of red sweatpants and a yellow shirt with DRESS CODE VIOLATOR in big black letters. Mom says this violates the kid's FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) rights for making her baby's discipline public. I say 'put on your big girl panties and suck it up'. And here's why:
Last year, 17 wore black athletic running tights and a sweatshirt to school. One particular teacher who is NOTORIOUS for calling students out on their 'inappropriate' clothing options decided my kid needed pants to learn. (I swear this is my favorite meme on the internet).
She called me from school and told me I had to bring her a pair of jeans or she'd be in detention for the rest of the day. Did I bitch and moan and naturally post it on Facebook? Yep. Did I call the principal, the school board, the media, the superintendent or the freaking Governor?? No, I did not. Because I've got better things to do with my time than make a big freaking production out of something as small as a dress code violation.
The girl in this story broke out in hives upon putting on this outfit, and she was allowed to leave school early. I'm sorry but I'm not feeling the sympathy here. YES it was a pain in the ass to have to leave work, drive home, find a clean pair of pants in 17's room (come on, she's a teen, you know what a chore THAT is), drive to the school and give the offender her pants so she could go back and get more learning done. But I didn't feel that her FERPA rights were violated and I didn't feel the need to bring it to the attention of the national media.
I think this lady and her daughter are bringing more attention to this matter than is really necessary. Seriously. Instead of it just being the kids in school who are seeing the poor kid in her DRESS CODE VIOLATOR outfit, she took a selfie and now the entire country, even the whole WORLD is seeing it. And for what? For attention. Her FERPA rights are gone. Her mom made sure of that by contacting the media. So who wins here?
I do, because I get to post that meme. And I swear, I loved that meme.
Winning is good, and you totally won the blogsasphere today!
ReplyDeleteYay me!!! Where's my tiara and roses??
DeleteAssuming that the girl knew the dress code when she walked in that day, and knew the consequences, her mom should be telling her to accept her punishment. Not broadcasting it to the world.
ReplyDelete...broadcasting it to the world and thus getting RID of her privacy, right? Truth.
DeleteCookoo Pants. Her mother is not only fighting the never-winnable "fighting city hall" battle, she's also teaching her child that the rules don't apply to her. Life doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteI'm all about non-conforming, but as far as school goes? FIRST, kids have to learn to CONFORM. THEN they can dabble in non-conformity. That's my opinion. Follow the rules, or go through the giant, never-ending ball of red tape to have the rules changed. BEFORE you go ahead and break them.
I went to Catholic school, so I had plenty of detentions, suspensions and other punishments for uniform violation, but I swear if we had a "Dress Code Violator" sweatshirt, I would have worn that thing with pride! I probably would have made my own with a neon inside-out sweatshirt (because 80's) and wrote that with a Sharpie and wore it EVERY single DAY over my plaid uniform skirt. Which I pulled so many threads out of I had to literally wear shorts under it to school every day. Oh, teens. It's a new challenge every week! Funny stuff.
Hell if they sold those t-shirts I'd buy one for me AND for my teens!
DeleteMy initial reaction to that story was "Wow. That sucks. Poor girl." considering the school allegedly said something to the effect of "We're doing this to embarass you into dressing properly."
ReplyDeleteThe more I've thought about the more I think: "Umm, grow up. Use it as a moment to laugh at your stupidity and have fun with the fact you got caught. Sure it sucks but you can either laugh at yourself or make a mountain out of an effing molehill." Clearly she chose the latter and I think it's ridiculous. Breaking out into hives because OMG you had to wear an ugly outfit? Drama queen much?
Shit happens. Laugh and move the eff on instead of trying to sue the school district or whomever else for your dumbassery.
But Kim, it's always better to bring stuff like this to national attention rather than just laughing it off. God forbid her kid's right to privacy should be infringed right? Oh, wait....now there IS no privacy.
DeleteIt was her 3rd day in a new school in Florida. She had just moved there from Seattle eight days before school started. She had no friends and no support system. Should probably have been up on the dress code, but they were probably slightly busy in the week after their cross country move. I'm inclined to cut some slack. I think a warning for a first offense might be justified.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I don't think mom needs to make a federal case out of this. And I think Teespring or somebody could now make some bucks on making a shirt just like this one and selling it online.
I agree they should've given her a warning, and I agree the mom shouldn't have made such a big freaking deal. And if the girl was so horrified, why take the selfie and have that shown all over the country? AND finally, where do I buy one of those shirts?!? They're awesome!!
DeleteAs a former teacher of 14's through 21's, I have seen my share of dress codes and dress code violators. As for the latter, less is best (turn the "Crack: It's What's for Dinner" t-shirt inside-out, stick your boobs back in, please), but one violator has stayed with me these 25 years.
ReplyDeleteI was walking behind a high school girl who I at first thought was having an petit mal seizure but who was, in fact, trying to pull her almost non-existent nano-skirt down low enough to cover her butt. I took her aside and asked her if I could go get her a sweater from lost-and-found that she could tie around her waist to do the job. She blushed bright red and I'm sure wanted to die of embarrassment, but did come with me to the office and did pick out a sweater that didn't look like it had any bugs in it. I saw her later that day with sweater in place, walking to class with her friends, looking anxiety free.
Some students consciously violate dress code to rebel (because that's what teens do best!), others do it for the attention, others do it to fit in with their friends, but only a very few ever realize that the real dress code is that general, unspoken consensus of what is and is not ok to wear in public. You won't find that in the student handbook, and those who never understand this are destined to be featured in memes. Or be labeled a "WalMartian" and laughed at by hipsters and average Americans alike.
So, my advice to parents is to allow their kids to make these mistakes, treat each one as a "FLO" moment (that's a Friggin' Learning Opportunity) and move on to the next thing. But let them experience the consequences of their choices and don't hassle the rule-makers or rule-keepers unless THEY are completely out of line. It's ok to express your individuality through your clothes --just be prepared for the official and unofficial reaction.
Hear, hear Ex-Prof! Thanks for your comments and for your voice of reason! Kids will be kids and expressing their individuality IS part of being a kid. Parents all too often cross the line.
DeletePREACH ON, sista! I AGREE!!
ReplyDelete