Some truth telling on the old blog today. I think it's time I came clean and 'fessed up about some stuff. Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone or hijack a school bus full of nuns or anything like that. But what I HAVE done are some things that very few people know, because they aren't things that you were supposed to do when I did them.
When 16 was just a few days old, I could NOT get her to fall asleep. I had a crib in her room but didn't use it right away since I was a brand new mother and was pretty much an idiot when it came to babies. We kept a bassinet in our bedroom but every time she'd fall asleep in my arms and I'd put her down, she'd wake right up and fuss. So I did what any brand new mother would do. I put her in her car seat. For some reason, when I did this, she slept. And she slept well. Who was I to deny that little angel her sleep? So for about the first month of her life, my baby slept in her car seat at night.
Once I finally started figuring out this whole 'mothering' thing, I was able to rock her to sleep and put her in her crib (without her car seat) and she'd be okay. Until she wasn't. She was probably about 3 or 4 months old and I would have a hard time getting her to sleep in her crib. Like a good mother, I always laid her down on her back. No SIDS in my house! But one night I just got tired of laying her on her back and almost making it out the door before she'd start squirming and realize where she was. It was at that time that I became a rebel. SIDS be damned, I had a baby monitor, I cranked it up loud so I could hear every breath, every fart. So when I laid her back down in her crib after she'd fallen back to sleep in my arms.... I put her on her tummy. OH THE HORROR!!! I fear they are coming to take away my 'Mother of the Year' sash and tiara. Oh well. Guess what. She's 16, and she survived sleeping on her tummy. The only person I ever told about this was my best friend. And guess what! SHE DID IT TOO!!!! We felt like some secret society of 'Moms Who Throw Caution to the Wind!' We were rebel moms, but we slept! Oh the sleep! It was a secret that we only discussed in private when no one could hear us, and we relished the fact that we had our little club of 2.
When my girls were a little older, probably 3 or 4, they were fighting (as they did on a regular basis) and I finally followed through on my promise to call Santa and report them. I called them both into the room, and then I dialed his number and I said "Hello Santa? This is Mrs. Biebel. That's right, Jennifer and Amanda's mom. I'm fine thank you, and you? Oh that's good, I'm glad to hear it. Listen, Santa, I'm calling because I wanted to let you know that Jenn and Amanda don't want any Christmas presents this year. Yes, that's right, they keep fighting and...oh you've seen them? Oh, so you know how they've been behaving. Oh good! What's that Santa? You want to talk to them? Ok, hang on I'll get them." The look of terror in those little eyes was just priceless. I wish I had captured it on film. Or my phone. Or whatever. They were like frightened kittens.
I handed the phone to Jennifer and she very sheepishly spoke to Santa and promised Santa that she would be much nicer to her sister and she would stop fighting with her. Then she handed the phone to her sister who cried and cried because she wanted presents. I believe that's all she told Santa. She wanted presents. Whatever it took, she'd do what she needed to do. Because PRESENTS.
Those girls never even guessed that it was my brother, their Uncle Billy on the other end of that phone. And I didn't care. I actually got a few weeks of peace out of that one phone call to 'Santa' and I owed my big brother a huge debt of gratitude for playing along.
Phew, I don't know about you but I feel much better now that I've gotten those things off my chest. Now it's your turn. What secrets do YOU have that you feel you can finally confess? Go ahead, I won't tell.
Hey, before you go, just a reminder. That little box over there on the right that says "Shop Amazon.com" is for you. I'm saving you the trouble of typing in "Amazon.com", just click the link and do your shopping and I get a teeny tiny percentage of money for keeping that link on my page. Go on, you know you need a new pair of flip-flops, a shower cap and a can of whipped cream.
Welcome to Snarkfest
Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!