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Friday, February 21, 2014

Opportunists really piss me off......

I originally posted this on another site where I blog, The Epistolarians and now I've got an update to the story. And SURPRISE! I'm even MORE  pissed now!




There’s something that really chaps my ass and I just can’t keep quiet about it any longer.  I know a lot of people who have cried poor over the years. And I know some of them really are in need, I totally get that. And I’m not judging these people who are really down and out, nor am I degrading them in any way. However, there is a certain type of person who very well may be poor but this type of person repeatedly comes out on top of most things only because people feel sorry for them and give them things that by rights they should earn on their own. And while it doesn’t affect me, it affects those people that I truly care about. And it’s time I got this off my chest, so here goes.

There’s this girl, we’ll call her Beulah. And Beulah had gotten herself in a bad way. But ever the trooper, Beulah did what she needed to do, and now has an offspring. Beulah was a single mother relying on her parents to help her out. She also relied on her friends. A lot. But not for what you might think. She didn’t rely on those friends to help her financially take care of her offspring (let’s call him Paco). She didn’t rely on those friends to help pay for Paco’s clothes, schooling, food, etc. No, she depended on these friends to get her into things: clubs, shows, concerts, all the places that responsible adults pay to get to themselves. But not Beulah. 

Beulah sees an opportunity to take advantage and jumps on it. Now, I know that the early bird catches the worm and you have to carpe the diem and seize the day and all that bullshit, but there’s a big difference between taking the bull by the horns to get what you want, and getting others to get it for you. And that’s what pisses me off. Here’s a great example of what I’m talking about.

Recently, Beulah ran into more financial difficulties (again). And Beulah’s amazing, and generous friends started helping her out. The asked others to help out too. And really, when you see that a stranger is in need, of course the right and just thing to do is to help out. However, what Beulah’s friends (and these poor unsuspecting strangers) THINK she’s going to do with the money, and what she’s actually PLANNING on doing with the money are two very different things. I’m not psychic, but I do follow things on the old innerwebz. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo. And I know that while Beulah is making everyone and their mother aware that people are collecting money for her, she’s also got her eye on things she’s already planning on buying with this money. Things that, SURPRISE! Have nothing whatsoever to do with helping Paco (unless Paco wants to listen to old vinyl or hang posters) 

Now here's an UPDATE to the original post: Guess who is going on a cruise!!! If you guessed Beulah, you'd be correct! That's right, friends and neighbors, for all of you who donated to her cause to help her out financially, you've paid for her trip to the Caribbean! Congratulations. In my black little heart, if I donated to her because she was having financial difficulties and then I found out she was taking a Caribbean vacation on my dime, I'd be pissed as hell. But that's just me. If you donated to her and are happy for her that she's getting some time away from her son, then you are a better person than I am. Fo' shizzle.

This type of person, an opportunist, annoys the shit out of me. Honestly, aggravates me to no end. Want another example? Years ago I worked in Atlantic City. And at that time, one of the people in my department (let’s call her Hortense) called into the office to say that her son had been killed in a car accident. We were all shocked and saddened at this. Her son was about 8 years old. It was tragic and awful and we all took up a collection for Hortense, as we knew she didn’t have much and thought money would be better than flowers to get through a funeral and a horrible time in her life. We collected close to $1000 and gave it to her. And Hortense was grateful.  A few days later, someone from our department called her house to check to see how she was coping, how she was dealing with this tragedy. She didn’t answer, but her mother did. And her mother informed us that Hortense’s son had NOT, in fact, died in a tragic car accident. The boy was right there in the room with her. And Hortense was at work. When we explained to Hortense’s mother what had transpired, and that Hortense was NOT, in fact, at work, she apologized, horribly embarrassed at what Hortense had done. That was the last time we ever heard anything about Hortense. 

So you see, people can be sneaky and underhanded and that makes me sick. I earn my money, if I am facing hard times, I don’t expect others to give me money to get through. I don’t expect others to give me money to go to movies, concerts, trips, etc. If I can’t afford it myself, I’m not expecting others to foot the bill for me. And people who DO this, without guilt, with no conscience, irritate me.
 



23 comments:

  1. Omg that sounds EXACTLY like someone I know and I want to throat punch her on a daily basis!

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    1. Sad that there are so many out there who take advantage.

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  2. So true Teri. One thing I've learned is that if God tells me to give or I decide to give out of compassion, that's reason enough to give. It is not up to me to decide how someone uses my gift. Don't get me wrong, I get angry and disappointed when I learn of this type of abuse/preying on tender people's generosity. God (yes He and I talk daily and thank Him bc I'm a big ole sinner) has told me that it's not about the other person when I give. It's about me loving and caring and honoring Him and myself. God is big enough to deal with the jerkos so I don't have to. Keep up the giving and sharing, Teri. The world needs more people like you.

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    1. Here's my issue with this, Caroline. When I see shit like this, and know that people are being taken advantage of, it makes me second guess giving the NEXT time I see someone in need asking for a hand. So it pretty much causes me to doubt EVERYONE.

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    2. I get ya Caroline - I tell people "give because you want to help, then let it go - don't give with strings attached, you'll only be sad". But I get you too Teri - and I hate doubting. You have to listen to your heart and give when you can, trusting God will guide your hand at the right time. I totally get this, I'm sure everyone knows a family who just seems to get "all the breaks". I just am thankful that I hear myself telling the kids "you can only control YOUR words, actions, and reactions." Good luck ladies!! :)

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  3. There goes my Buy The Fearless Leader a New Bass Boat, I mean New Shoes for the Kids Campaign!

    BTW...I hope Ho-tense has a rotten day.

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    1. LMAO you crack me up as always Toby. I'm in to buy the New Shoes (let's call her the SS Bass Bitch) for $10.

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    2. SS Bass Bitch FTW!

      $10 for "shoes"? See the "Donate" button on my blog. :D

      BTW..."shoes" rhymes with "cruise". I'm just sayin'.

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    3. Toby, I love you a little more each day.

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    4. I hate when I blurt out the real deal when I'm trying to be sneaky! But now that this has so cleverly come together, I can't help but feel compelled to donate to your cruise--I mean shoes!!

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    5. How about booze? I'll happily donate if I get some booze on that cruise while wearing new shooz!!

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  4. I live in NYC and see this all the time with many people who work the subways to beg for money. The fake blind guy, the kids selling candy for fake team gear, the fake nuns begging for donations. It has gotten to the point where I just ignore them all. Like the old saying goes - There's a sucker born every minute.

    I never give cash to friends or associates. It's better that way. Give to reputable charities instead.

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    1. Phil that's a great way to look at things. It avoids a lot of drama!

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    2. Exactly, Phil!

      My favorite worthy charity is the Buy a New Bass Boat For Fearless Leader. It's run by great people that vigorously endeavor to control the fish population of America's lakes, rivers and streams.

      See comment above about "Donate" button,

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  5. Oh No. Those are the types of stories that leave me Pissed! I'm all for helping people out if they are in need, but then to take that money and go on a cruise? Or to lie about something happening to your own child? OMG! Wonder what Karma has in mind for those types of people.

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  6. I feel the same way. I want to help those in need but when the man holding the "homeless, hungry, please help" sign is in a Carhardt Hat, Columbia coat and talking on his cell phone, I think maybe someone else needs my money more. Like me!!

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  7. OOOOHHHH!!! You nailed this one!! And you're talking about my ex-sister-in-law. When our nephew was a senior in high school, she was collecting money for him to go to Australia for a soccer camp (WTF?!) ... I never believed it would happen, but lots of businesses did and donated $$ to him / them. Biggest non-shock of my life, things "didn't work out" and he didn't go. In a (not) surprising turn of events, ex-sister-in-law got a new car later that month. I was fuming ... and you can bet your sweet ass I said something about that one. Whenever she cries poor (which is ALLLLL the time), I don't believe her. Ever.

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  8. Holy Hell, that's horrible. I can't believe people have the cajones to pull something like that. For some reason, with the advent of social media, some people think all of life is a Kickstarter campaign. Unreal.

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  9. There are some sick bastards out there, no doubt. On a smaller scale, the people who annoy me are the ones who cry poor but are still driving their Hummers, still taking the family to Europe every summer and can be found at five star restaurants every Saturday night. Seriously? Sadly, I know way too many people like this.

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  10. "Hortense" is all kinds of vile. You're right about stories like that discouraging giving. It's sad for the people who really need it.

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