Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Positive Panties

Oh for the love of Mike, what will they think of next?? My friend Siobhan sent me a link to this site because she knows how much I love to mock things. This one did not disappoint. Let's start at the beginning. This website, Kickstarter, is a great way for inventors to get their inventions noticed and raise some capital to get stuff done. If you're looking to make the next self-cleaning diaper/waffle-iron but you don't have the cash, you can throw it up on Kickstarter and try to raise the money. Now Siobhan comes across this little nugget (I actually didn't ask her how she found it, was she looking new ways to stay positive or just in the marker for new panties??) and sends me the link to Positive Panties. The tagline is a little disturbing: Curing crabbiness one sweet ass at a time. 

Now, call me crazy, but seriously, I never want to see the word panties and anything associated with crabs in the same sentence. That right there could be a deal breaker. How do you know that the positive panties you're backing aren't going to end up giving people positively itchy pubes?? Scroll down a little and you'll see a little background on the soul sisters who came up with the idea of Positive Panties, and they are admittedly 'dancing-in-our-seats-giddy' to share the idea with their community. How sure are we that that's not the crabs making them dance in their seats???

Keep reading, it gets better. That's right, when you're having a shit start to the morning, all grumpy and cranky, you open your panty drawer and spot those Positive Panties and all at once 'the bricks on your heart start breaking off and falling to the ground'. Wow, those are some damn powerful undies. And if you continue to scroll down past the 'ask', you'll see prototype positive panty pictures. The first pic just confuses me. The words across the front of these skivvies says: You are a mega fuck ton of awesome.  What the hell does that mean?? A mega fuck ton? I'm putting out a request right now of all my Snarkfest readers to PLEASE explain to me what a mega fuck ton of awesome is. Because dammit, I want to be THAT awesome!

One of their first goals (if you send them enough money to make these mega fuck ton of awesome panties) is to make them in plus sizes. Yay! Is that so people who are two mega fuck tons of awesome won't feel left out? And if you're looking for stocking stuffers for Christmas, look no further. These knickers are 'highly giftable!' Won't mom be so happy to know that she 'is going to rock this day so hard'? (another slogan across the panties).

Okay in all seriousness, I've got to give these ladies credit where credit is due. Not everyone would take their idea to the internet looking for public backing for what is, undoubtedly, an original idea: Power to make your day positive from wearing the right underwear. I applaud their spunk (sorry, bad pun) and tenacity in wanting to get these panty-thingies made. I wish them the best of luck in their endeavor and maybe one day, someone will surprise me with panties that tell me how hard I'm going to rock the day! Just make sure to wash them first. I hate crabby panties.

28 comments:

  1. mega fuck ton of awesome isn't even in urban dictionary.... WTF? Is it maybe a ton of fucking awesome from megatron? or maybe you tell your friends, i had a mega fuck last night... it was ton of awesome....

    "Think of Positive Panties as your secret superhero cape of invincibility – your secret skivvies" Just like the invisible lady right?

    I vote for badass mother fucker,but hell, if i have those, i will never wear pants again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can see you walking down the street, proudly displaying your 'bad ass mother fucker' panties, being positively positive, Jules. We should run a race together wearing nothing but sports bras and Positive Panties!!

      Teri

      Delete
    2. I completely agree!! These would have been great when I was playing roller derby!

      Delete
  2. HIlarious...as usual! Crabby panties...not the best marketing move.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Carolyn. I agree, their first major purchase should probably be a new marketing director.

      Teri

      Delete
  3. I'm thinking I won't put anything on my large arse that says mega fuck ton. Ton - arse. Ummmm not the positive message I'm digging. Unless its a reminder not to eat...

    And maybe some will arrive for Christmas - you never know....but with a package of little crabbies - you could make them an add on for purchase!!!

    Love love love this post!!! And all of your posts!!!!!

    Joy aka
    Evil Joy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wonder if you have to pay extra for the crabs?? And no, I'm thinking there's not enough positive panty material to cover my mega fuck ton ass.

      Teri

      Delete
  4. Thanks for some morning laughs with my cup of java this am!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it Jackie!!!

      Teri

      Delete
  5. I'm totally getting those for my mother in law this Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is she a bad ass mother fucker or is she a mega fuck ton of awesome, Tracy?? Either way, I'm sure she'll positively love them!

      Teri

      Delete
  6. Ha! Panties? It sounds like something that could be put on boxer breifs... It could perfectly wrap a small package...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can definitely see the bad ass mother fucker on a big pair of briefs hiding a small package. ;)

      Teri

      Delete
  7. Um...for the record, I was reading a friend's blog (which, mind about is a blog that gives ideas for frugal living), and the ad for the above mentioned item was advertised on the side bar. Totally innocent! I swear. Secondly, why can't my name be Mary or Jennifer, so that when I'm referenced in a blog about underwear, no one knows which one of the 10 Jennifer's in Terri's world she was talking about??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, but you're one of a kind, Sio. Wanna hear a bizarre coincidence? Speaking of the name Jennifer, the two proprietors of Positive Panties have the first names Jennifer and Amanda. Sound familiar? ;)

      Teri

      Delete
  8. I would so totally buy these. If i wore underwear. Which i dont, unless I am on my period in which case, they would likely get ruined. And not even positive panties would pull me from my funk ass. TMI? Maybe, but its between friends here right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's ok, Stef, nobody reads this so your comments are totally safe. ;)

      Teri

      Delete
  9. Hi Teri,
    I have a HEFTY appreciation for snark however I just wanted to pop on here and say that the girls that created these also run two incredibly successful blogs. Amanda runs www.kindovermatter.com and Jenn runs www.rootsofshe.com they use those platforms on a daily basis to tackle the most difficult issues in loving, compassionate, supportive and kind ways. The branch off for these underwear is a co-created project that is fun and lighthearted, sort of like going out and just kicking ass at living. I think a glance at who they really are and what they consistently put out into the world is relevant to mention.
    They both have upfront dialogues about body image and the challenges that women face in a culture that is designed to shame or objectify them. It matters in a very real way to them, and the community that supports them, to offer bigger sizes particularly in an industry that holds little regard for what is an accurate and true representation of real women's bodies. You just did a supportive post yourself on that very topic in support of Jennifer Livingston.
    It isn't as easy getting picked up by Kickstarter, they are incredibly selective about what projects they will permit. The fact that the girls, after two years of hard work, got accepted is kind of a big deal. Like, even a Mega Fuck Ton of Awesome kind of big deal:)
    They reached out to quite a few amazing people on the innerwebs to help them, and you can get the video from the Kickstarter page and see all kinds of people explaining what it means to be a Mega Fuck Ton of Awesome. I even have a video coming out on Tuesday in support of their Kickstarter page. I hope you'll take the time to stop by and see it, because it's hilarious and ridiculous and FUN to run up the Philadelphia Museum of Art steps with no pants and only wearing Positive Panties;)It took courage to do that however, as I think it does any time we put ourselves out there, risking to be vulnerable or made fun of.
    Peace and Love skies full to you Teri! A Mega Fuck Ton of it!
    xo,
    Kat


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've changed my mind. It's my blog. I'm not sorry if I offended the life coach.

      http://snarkfestblog.blogspot.com/2012/10/my-apologies-not-so-fast.html

      Teri

      Delete
    2. I wasn't subscribed to any updates so I popped on to see if you responded- indeed, you have;) Although I think I may have missed some middle parts, I'm sure I can piece it together:)
      Best wishes!
      Kat

      Delete
  10. I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face! I'm not certain about this, but this article may also be a mega fuck ton of awesome! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then my work here is done, Christina. My aim when I wrote this was to be a mega fuck ton of awesome. I can now retire knowing I've achieved my hopes, dreams and goals.

      Now my next goal, eating my way through a bakery!!

      Teri

      Delete
  11. Thank for giving me the best laugh of my morning!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to oblige, Eva! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you stick around!

      Teri

      Delete
  12. Man, I have so many things that I want to say. So. So. So. Many things. I will leave it at this: There may be power in all that positivity, but what makes us laugh is the snark, the quirk, and people falling down. And I'd sure as hell rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I love you. Thanks for quoting some Billy Joel. And I agree, I love the snarky, quirky laugh. :)

      Teri

      Delete
  13. So there's a site where you can sell your used panties to random men. Anyone find this a little odd. Am I the only one who just discovered this recently?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm so glad I discovered your blog and no surprise...it was Positive Panties that got me here. (What does that say about me???)
    I look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete

I do read all comments and try to respond to them. Unless you're trying to get me to visit your website: Cheap Louis Vuitton Bags. Then you can go pound sand.