Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Humor is where you find it. I found it in San Antonio...

You can find the humor in any situation if you just look for it. Here are a few funny moments from my San Antonio trip. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

First, I was waiting in the lobby of my hotel for some friends to arrive, and I had the pleasure of listening to one side of a hilarious phone conversation. It seems the lady on my end of the conversation had forgotten her razor and was lamenting about it to the person on the other end of the line, "...and you KNOW how hairy I get!" No, lady, I don't know, nor do I WANT or NEED to know how hairy you get when you forget your razor. It's none of my business. Then the conversation took a very strange turn when hairy chick said "Oh, you're in jail? Oh that SUCKS! What are you in for this time?" She said it so matter of fact, as if she was asking her what time the next bus came. "Have you told your folks? Oh man, you must be SO SICK of jail by now!"  Yes, she really had that conversation.

I'm not sure if her friend had called her to shoot the shit or to bail her out but the fact that the chick on my end was discussing how hairy she gets when she forgets her razor made me cock my head to the side like a confused dog when they started discussing jail. Add this to the warehouse of things I'll never understand.

Next on this list is "selfie-kid". Let me explain. When we arrived at Dulles for Jenn's flight last Monday morning, we met up with a dozen or so other All-American Band members waiting at the gate. One young man in particular was very enthusiastic. His name is Mercer and he was an absolute joy! His excitement at his first time flying paired with his selection as a U.S. Army All-American made him exuberant and he was sharing that exuberance with everyone he met. As he was boarding the plane, he met this older gentleman who couldn't help but notice how excited Mercer was, and he engaged Mercer in conversation. In his excited state, Mercer asked the gentleman if he'd take a selfie with him, and the gentleman happily obliged.

Let's fast forward to Monday evening at dinner. The kids were all sitting at their tables listening to the various speakers when a 2-star General was introduced to speak. He started his speech by asking the kids to raise their hands if they flew in that morning from Dulles International Airport. The dozen or so kids raised their hands. Then the General asked if the young man who asked him to take a selfie would please stand up. That's right. The man who Mercer asked to take a selfie with was actually a 2-start General in the Army. Mercer actually got another selfie with the General and would continue to be referred to as "selfie-kid" for the remainder of the week. I got to see Mercer's pictures and they were fantastic!

One more thing that made me laugh might not be all that funny to you but it cracked me up. On the flight home, I sat on one side of the aisle and both my girls had window seats on the other side, one in row 11 and the other in row 12. During the course of the flight, Amanda nodded off and woke up several times. The last time she woke up, she said she felt ill and like she needed to throw up. She grabbed the barf bag from the seat-back in front of her, opened it, threw up into it, then sat there holding the bag. She looked over at me, still holding the bag and said "Now what?" If you've ever seen the movie Finding Nemo, it was exactly as Bloat said at the end when the fish from the dentist's office fish tank finally make it to the ocean. "Now what?" She no felt sick, she was wide up and perky. She just didn't know what to do with her puke. Thank you, United flight attendants.


  1. Sounds like a great trip! Congratulations to your daughter, and I hope the other is feeling better. Oh and please visit my website where I sell cheap Gucci bags...you said you didn't like Louis Vuitton's...

    1. Did you say Gucci?? Now THOSE I'll buy! :) Thanks for stopping by and saying hey!!

  2. Ha! Man, I love some of the phone conversations I overhear in public, but that one wins. What I want to know is how that person knows how hairy this lady is. Do they discuss it over lunch? Or have they gone swimming on one of those razor-less days? All this and jail too? Too good!

    1. I was afraid to turn around and look at Hairychick because obviously, her friend knows how hairy she gets so it could've been dangerous. I could've lost an eye with all that hair. And yes, all this and jail too. Bonus!


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