Thanks to all of you who commented on the Christmas Blues post, you guys have no idea how tremendously better you made me feel with all of your words. It's great to know that I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I'm happy to report that my baking is finished, shopping is done, my wrapping is wrapped up, (see what I did there?) my mood is lighter and my house is still a shit hole. Hopefully that will have changed by the time I get home from work today. 16 & 14 were both given the directive to clean up said shit hole or there will not be a single gift under the tree tomorrow morning. Yeah, that's how I roll. Mrs. Grinch. So sue me.
Shifting gears here for a moment, I just got one of those annoying automated calls on my cell phone. I find I've been getting more and more of them.
"This is Assface from your credit card company. There is no problem with your account, however you now have an opportunity to lower your percentage rate!"
Me: "WOW What a great automated person Assface is, trying to save me money! How can I learn more, Assface???
Assface: "Press 1 to speak with a REAL LIVE HUMAN to discuss lowering your rate!!"
Naturally, I nearly break my finger pressing 1 with the enthusiasm of a child opening a present on Christmas morning (a child who has cleaned up her shit hole of a house, of course).
Real live human douchebag: "Rude Dude here, how can I help you today?"
Me: "Hey Rude Dude, I wish to be put on your DO NOT CALL list please. "
Real live human Rude Dude: "click"
He hung up on me!!! I was SHOCKED!
|The Fresh Prince is SHOCKED TOO!|
image courtesy: blog.muchmusic.com
Why?? How about because I don't know what you want from me, I don't have any account with you and I don't wish to receive anymore calls from you, how about that, "Ken Johnson"??
This was "Ken Johnson's" response, and I swear to Allah that I am not making this up: "No, but you have to open an account with me!"
Um, what? Really? No, I really don't think I do, "Ken Johnson".
I have my home phone on the national DO NOT CALL list, and I have all the cell phone numbers we have also listed on the national DO NO CALL list, and still, they continue to call. And THIS is why we need to stop spending forty-nine bazillion dollars on determining why some rats like brie and others prefer limberger cheese and start cracking down on the "Ken Johnsons" of the telemarketing world.
Ok, rant over. Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I want to say that I hope your 2014 is filled with love, laughter and NO TELEMARKETING PHONE CALLS!! Merry Christmas, Snarklings!