Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Did you know I was inspiring? Did you care?

Well you're gonna care! I have received the "Inspiring Blogger Award" from not one but TWO amazingly talented bloggers, Jules from My Mom's A Whackjob and Marcia from Menopausal Mother! I have a ton of respect for these two chicks so you can imagine how honored I am that they've bestowed this award upon my snarky ass. It's just nice to know that I do more than just inspire people to want to drink!

So the deal is, you list 7 facts about yourself and then nominate other bloggers for the award. And in true Snarkfest fashion, I'm breaking the rules. Sure I'll list my 7 facts, but then I'm going to just give you a list of some amazing and funny writers, all of whom will be collaborating in our upcoming book, I Just Want To Pee Alone which will be released sometime within the next month!!

This is the cover of our book!! Look, see my name?!?
So without further ado, I'm listing 7 things about myself. Ready?


  1. My mom doesn't know that I'm a blogger. I have never told her about it. Not that I'm embarrassed by it or ashamed, but I'm not sure she'd be in love with the idea that I drop the F bomb so casually and on such a regular basis, so if you see her, please don't tell her about my blog, okay? Thanks.
  2. I've never made brussel sprouts, liver, lima beans or squash for my family. Not that I don't love my family and want them to be healthy, but that shit tastes like llama-ass and I don't like me no llama-ass. Alright, if I'm being honest, it's not that I don't actually LIKE squash, but I just don't know what to do with it, how to cook it or anything, so yeah. That's my story. I'm an incompetent squash cooker.
  3. I'm a complete slob. My house is a cluttered mess. I'm not talking Hoarders-worthy, but it's pretty cluttered. Again, please don't tell my mom.
  4. There are times when I like my dogs way more than I like 15 & 13. Don't tell them I said this, but Henry and Cosmo listen to me way more than 15 & 13 do which naturally means I would rather have dogs than kids sometimes. However, Henry and Cosmo pretty much suck at volleyball and trumpet and that's when I'm glad that I also have kids, because my kids DO excel at those activities. It's a nice, well-balanced relationship here in my house. But again, don't tell the kids, okay? 
  5. I know that Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones dinners are way high in sodium and probably (okay totally) not that good for you, but when I'm trying to lose weight and am super busy (like every day) they are so much easier, so much more convenient for me to just grab, eat and go. So don't tell my doctor that I eat those relatively often, okay?
  6. My dad died of a heart attack in August of 2010 and that October, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, DC and raised $1800 for the American Heart Association. It was my first marathon.
  7. I used to be meticulous in balancing my checkbook. I used Quicken, balanced it to the penny every month and would freak out if it was off, I'd investigate that shit like Morgan and Hotch until I found the  mistake. Then I gave birth. Now I'm lucky if I even open the bank statement when it comes in each month. And if I open it, odds are, I never actually REMOVE the statement from the envelope.
Okay it seems as though I've trusted you people with a LOT of personal information about myself. If my mom calls me and questions me about my blog, I'm coming to find whichever one of you ratted me out. Until that happens, here is my list of inspiring bloggers. You don't have to go visit them all, you don't even have to click a single link if you don't want to. But if you don't, you'll be missing out on some seriously funny shit. Here are the ladies who will be joining me in the book I Just Want To Pee Alone:

Rants from Mommyland                                     You Know it Happens at Your House Too
My Life and Kids                                                Bad Parenting Moments
Let Me Start By Saying                                     Suburban Snapshots
Frugalista Blog                                                  My Real Life
Ninja Mom                                                        Four Plus and Angel
Honest Mom                                                     Binkies and Briefcases
Naps Happen                                                   Kelley's Break Room
Toulouse and Tonic                                          HouseTalkN
Hollow Tree Ventures                                       The Fordeville Diaries
Mom's New Stage                                             Nurse Mommy Laughs
The Dose of Reality                                          The Mom of the Year
Life on Peanut Layne                                        Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine
Momaical                                                          Confessions of a Cornfed Girl
Random Handprints                                           RachRiot
You're My Favorite Today                                 Family is Funny

39 comments:

  1. My mom knows about my blog, but she doesn't read it. Can you believe that shit?!

    Thanks for the shout out, co-author!

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    1. Wow, I think if mom DID know I had a blog and DIDN'T read it, I might take offense. ;)

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  2. Woot! Congrats to you on so much good news, and on not telling your mom about your blog. I told mine, and it's been nothing but a huge mistake.

    Thanks for the shout! :)

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    1. I'm happy to share everyone on the list, Robyn! And yeah, that's a big reason I didn't tell mom. Not that she'd ever see it, because the woman has a paralyzing fear of computers, but ya never know.

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  3. My Mom reads mine, but I wonder how different the blog would be if she didn't! :) Thanks for linking us up!

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  4. THANKS LADY!! My mom knows about my blog, but my MIL just now found out-- now that I have a book I figured she can deal with a few F-bombs!

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    1. If she's got a problem, oh fucking well, right? ;)

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  5. Thank you! I'm in awe of your #6--that is so amazing! Go you! And I'm completely with you on #5, just don't tell my doctor either...

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    1. Don't worry, Mer, your secret is safe with me! No one reads this stuff anyway. ;)

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  6. Thanks so much!!!

    None of my friends or family follow my blog. They've all asked, but I refuse to give up the name of it because then I'd need to write with a filter, and I don't know how to do that. :)

    Admittedly, I've left all financial stuff to The Hubs since we got married. He's just better at that crap than me!!!

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    1. I'm starting to think I should've kept this whole blog thing under my hat. And when we got married, my hubby was THRILLED that I took over all the financial crap.

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  7. My mother prints out every post. I told her that's overkill. I'm right there with you on #3, 4 and 7. BTW my 7yo says Fbombs just as much as me (thankfully only once at school).

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    1. Wow she must be REALLY proud of you! :)

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  8. My mom (a) doesn't know I have a blog, (b) doesn't know what a blog is anyway and (c) can only use the computer to play solitaire, so (a) and (b) don't even matter. #2 and #3 - check. #4 - replace dogs with cats and trumpet with cello. #5 - I eat crap, just less of it when I need to drop a few pounds. #6 - you got me, there. #7 - that's what overdraft protection is for!

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    1. Cats and cello! Sounds like an awesome new band! :)

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  9. You must send me pictures of your messy house! :) Thanks for the shout out!!

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    1. For the low low price of $50 plus shipping and handling, I'll gladly send you pics of what may or may not be my house, Anna.

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  10. Thanks for the shout-out & congrats on the award!

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  12. Thank you for the mention! My parents know that I blog but they don't read it because "Bob Barker doesn't have a computer or a cell phone", so why should they?

    Of course I told them that Bob Barker is 176 years old and maybe they could pick a more relevant person as a role model.

    Is Bob even still kicking?

    Anyhoo, I'm stoked to be listed with this amazing group of writers! We should all meet up and party like it's 1986! I think I can rustle up some 8 tracks and a poster of Kirk Cameron...

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    1. Last I checked he was, hope you didn't just kill him, Johi! And my mother doesn't own a computer so she's just as happy as your parents. :)

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  13. WOOT! Thanks for the shout out! I really do just want to pee alone!

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  14. AWWW, you rock the free world!! Thank you!! :) We are totally excited about the book and love the fact that all of us are sharing the funny together!!

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    1. I know, I love that we're all doing the big pimpin'!

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  15. YES!!! You rocked this and dammit if I didn't feel like I was looking in the mirror when I read it! Hell's bells woman--had no idea we had so much in common--except the Mom thing--unfortunately, my mother DOES read my blog--faithfully, which is why you only see me dropping the F bomb on everyone ELSE'S site except my own!!!! So don't worry--your secret is safe with me!

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    1. Thanks Marcia!! I appreciate your keeping that under your hat!

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  16. Very few personal friends and family know I blog> My ex does, only because he stalked me and found it, wish he didn't would love to bash him. Not sure why my mom doesn't know, she would freak and don't want to deal with that.

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  17. This is the BEST! I was petrified to let me mother read my book! I hated that I used the "F" word in it but there were some things that could not be said without it!I was still scared! I was even more terrified than petrified of the fact that I mentioned a blow job (only saving grace it wasn't me giving it) that would have been the end! I don't open my bank statements either and the only way I know if I have enough for groceries is to call my 800 # to the bank balance as I'm running into the store! This is important information when considering how many bottles of wine I can grab! My dad still doesn't know I've ever had sex despite the fact that I'm married with 2 kids! HAHAHA (boy I have him fooled)I tell my family all the time that I love my basset hound LEO the best! I do have to say though, I can cook amazing squash! ;) AND one more thing, Thank you a million times over for supporting my book and having it on your page! You are the best!

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    1. I do promise that there WILL be a book review as soon as I have more than 3 minutes at a time to sit and try to finish it. Your kids may be in college but I swear, as God as my witness, I'll finish it!

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  18. So on 5 out of 7, we are like twinsies!!!
    Love your list...and I am so excited to read the book too!

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  19. Teri, I just linked this post up for my blog tomorrow (because you did all the legwork listing the blogs and I'm lazy today) but I re-read your list and can't believe that I somehow skipped #2 and #5 the first time around. I love squash, but I, too, have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Do you peel it? Boil it? Mash it? I got nothin'. As for #5, Weight Watchers Three Cheese Ziti is one of my favorite meals of all time, but the whole sodium thing always makes me put it back in the grocery store. I might just say to hell with it and start buying it again for those nights when everyone is running in thirty directions and just grabbing something. Cuz you just gave me permission to do so.

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    1. LOVE the Three Cheese Ziti, it's one of my faves. Screw sodium!!

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