So the deal is, you list 7 facts about yourself and then nominate other bloggers for the award. And in true Snarkfest fashion, I'm breaking the rules. Sure I'll list my 7 facts, but then I'm going to just give you a list of some amazing and funny writers, all of whom will be collaborating in our upcoming book, I Just Want To Pee Alone which will be released sometime within the next month!!
|This is the cover of our book!! Look, see my name?!?|
- My mom doesn't know that I'm a blogger. I have never told her about it. Not that I'm embarrassed by it or ashamed, but I'm not sure she'd be in love with the idea that I drop the F bomb so casually and on such a regular basis, so if you see her, please don't tell her about my blog, okay? Thanks.
- I've never made brussel sprouts, liver, lima beans or squash for my family. Not that I don't love my family and want them to be healthy, but that shit tastes like llama-ass and I don't like me no llama-ass. Alright, if I'm being honest, it's not that I don't actually LIKE squash, but I just don't know what to do with it, how to cook it or anything, so yeah. That's my story. I'm an incompetent squash cooker.
- I'm a complete slob. My house is a cluttered mess. I'm not talking Hoarders-worthy, but it's pretty cluttered. Again, please don't tell my mom.
- There are times when I like my dogs way more than I like 15 & 13. Don't tell them I said this, but Henry and Cosmo listen to me way more than 15 & 13 do which naturally means I would rather have dogs than kids sometimes. However, Henry and Cosmo pretty much suck at volleyball and trumpet and that's when I'm glad that I also have kids, because my kids DO excel at those activities. It's a nice, well-balanced relationship here in my house. But again, don't tell the kids, okay?
- I know that Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones dinners are way high in sodium and probably (okay totally) not that good for you, but when I'm trying to lose weight and am super busy (like every day) they are so much easier, so much more convenient for me to just grab, eat and go. So don't tell my doctor that I eat those relatively often, okay?
- My dad died of a heart attack in August of 2010 and that October, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, DC and raised $1800 for the American Heart Association. It was my first marathon.
- I used to be meticulous in balancing my checkbook. I used Quicken, balanced it to the penny every month and would freak out if it was off, I'd investigate that shit like Morgan and Hotch until I found the mistake. Then I gave birth. Now I'm lucky if I even open the bank statement when it comes in each month. And if I open it, odds are, I never actually REMOVE the statement from the envelope.
Okay it seems as though I've trusted you people with a LOT of personal information about myself. If my mom calls me and questions me about my blog, I'm coming to find whichever one of you ratted me out. Until that happens, here is my list of inspiring bloggers. You don't have to go visit them all, you don't even have to click a single link if you don't want to. But if you don't, you'll be missing out on some seriously funny shit. Here are the ladies who will be joining me in the book I Just Want To Pee Alone: