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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Ode to a Runner

About 3 years ago, she forced me to run about 15 feet to a stop sign. I hated her for that because I hate to run. I was wearing my cute white Reebok sneakers. Not running shoes by any means but they were good for walking around. The next day, she forced me to run beyond the stop sign to a tree about 10 feet past the tree. What a bitch. I cursed her. A lot.

We had started walking together after work at night and apparently she was becoming bored with walking. Did she not understand that I hated running? Apparently she understood. She just didn't care. Bitch. One evening we were walking laps around our local park. One full lap around is 8/10 of a mile. We walked a few laps and she decided we needed to run. My first time I made it half way around the park. And I died. Literally, I lost my life. Ok shut up, that's what it felt like. We got into her car and my face was a shade darker red than the color of her red car. I was short of breath, I was sweating, and most of all, I hated her.

But I didn't. How could I hate her? She was pushing me outside of my box. She was making me do things that SUCKED but it was for my own good. She knew it, and I didn't want to admit it. But she was helping me. And secretly I loved her for it.

We ran our first 5K together. Then our first 10K. When we went to get fitted for running shoes we were taken care of by this crazy woman who had to cut her 17 mile run short that morning to get ready for work. 17 miles. BAHAHAHAHA. She also had a GPS thingy that she wore when she ran. Nazi and I mocked her when we got to the car. What a nut! What a crazy ass psycho!! What kind of lunatic runs that far and has a GPS. This is what I get for mocking.

She ran my first Half Marathon with me next, and we crossed the finish line together, hand in hand. In February of the following year, she convinced me we had to run the Marine Corps Marathon, so we schlepped down to Quantico and ran the Marine Corps Race to Register 10K. If you finished that 10K you were guaranteed a spot in the Marathon that October. Did I mention that 10K was on the coldest morning in the history of cold mornings? No shit, it was about 2 degrees. But we finished it, and we registered for and then ran the Marine Corps Marathon on Halloween. She cried as she finished, overcome with emotion. (I was too busy drooling over hot Marines and trying not to die).

Marine Corps Marathon: Michelle, Nazinutjob, me & Diane.
Last September she invited me over, plied me with wine and strong-armed me into registering for the Goofy Challenge. For those of you who don't know, the Goofy Challenge is another term for Clinically Insane but that doesn't look as good on a T-shirt with a Disney character. So in January of this year, we flew to Disney, and ran a half marathon on Saturday, then a full marathon on Sunday. 39.3 miles in 2 days. It was lunacy. Sheer and utter ridiculousness. But it was a blast and I got a bunch of really cool bling out of it.

Diane on the left, me, and the Naziwhackjobrunningcrackho on the right
Me, Barb, Pluto, Diane and Psychocrazyrunningbitch
She's definitely been bitten by the 'no I need to go farther' bug. Bitten in her brain. In the past 2 years, I've lost track of how many full marathons she's run. She's a die hard runner and I am in awe. But wait, it gets better.

This past March she spearheaded the 1st Annual Keller Williams March for Kids Health 5K with the help of all of her Sole to Soul Sisters, our running family. This pic was taken as we were giving out the prizes to the winners of the race.
Susan and the Nazi. One of my favorite pictures. Ever.

Next weekend, she will take on the biggest challenge of her running career. This will quite possibly rank up there among one of the hardest things she's ever done. In her life. Next Saturday, she will run the JFK 50 Miler. This is a really special run for her. She celebrated her 50th birthday last December, and this year marks the 50th anniversary of this 50 mile run. She believes it's her destiny to run this race. And she's not letting anything silly like a little leg injury stop her from completing this monumental feat. She has an indomitable spirit, a huge heart, the most positive attitude I've ever come across and is truly one of the most generous people I've ever met.

So here's to you, Lisa Kingsbury. I will be with you during the JFK and can't wait to see you cross the finish line. I love you, my crazy lunatic friend. I dedicate the first beer to you.

It's all about the beer at the finish line.

My friend Lisa and I on her 50th birthday. 

15 comments:

  1. This.is.wonderful.

    I started about 3 years ago too - I haven't done as much as you in such a short time, but you definitely inspire me.

    Good luck to your friend. Enjoy the leg you run with her. She's lucky to have you.

    Keep on running sista!

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    1. Thanks Joy. I love her for all that she is and all that she's accomplished.

      One day, you and I will finish a Half together!

      Teri

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  2. Wow that is amazing. Im lucky if I can make it around the block! I started running a few months back and well then my knee gave out on me and hasnt been the same since but I know I craved to go further every morning so around the block is a big feat for me LOL Good luck to your friend on the 50 miler

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    1. Definitely get the knee checked out. If you've got that drive and craving, get the knee fixed and get out there and do it!! You won't be sorry. Coming across the finish line of my very first 5K at 190 lbs was THE most amazing feeling EVER.

      Keep me posted on your progress!

      Teri

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  3. This is awesome, Teri! Good for you. Everyone needs a friend like this who will push you in a good way. Keep on keeping on!

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    1. Thanks Kathy, I'm lucky to have her. <3

      Teri

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  4. NaziwhackjobrunningcrackhoNovember 10, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    OK you have gone and done it...I am crying in my beer!!! T there are no words that can describe the incredible/psycho times that we have had together. You have been there from the very beginning and have held my hand through all the craziness. You have stood by me and never doubted me. You are the BEST!!! of the BEST!!!You have been through every train running and helped me in so many ways to get where I am today. I know that I can always count on you to be there. I am super blessed to have you in my life and God put us together in this crazy world to do some BIG things...like the KW March for Kids and just Paying it Forward to reach other Sistahs out there to change their lives. Look at how may people that you have touched because you are a magnet of generosity and kindness...YEAH like it or not Snark Nazi you are really a sweet heart under all that SNARK!!!I can not wait to meet you at Dargan and run that part of the JFK with you beside me. <3 Thank you and you have no idea how LUCKY I am to call you my Pal. Thank you for being YOU!!! LOL and who got the GPS 1st? Crack Head!!!

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    1. Shhhh, you're going to ruin my reputation as a heartless, snarky bitch.

      Love you very much.

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  5. I love this story! What an inspiration she is. I wish that I had a running partner that pushed me further and further. Amazing woman do amazing things! Good luck to Lisa!

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    1. That's the truth, Jules. And you have it in you to do amazing things as well! You're pretty awesome as well.

      Teri

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  6. naziwhackjobrunningcrackhoNovember 11, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Thanks for all the kind words Peeps and I am only as successful for the friends that I surround myself with that encourage me to be the best that I can be...like we said from the very beginning.."We are only in it for the T-shirt and the beer" then after we started getting the bling.."We are only in it for the T-shirt, beer and BLING"

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    1. And blisters. Don't forget blisters. And shin splints. And raw spots.

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  7. So, how did it go? Enquiring minds want to know. I had a friend who started to do the same for me three years ago - she'd had a head start, did 4.5 marathons that year before me - but really wanted to do a half IronMan, so I trained with her /for her. It was incredible - and so much more enjoyable when you have someone by your side pushing you and letting you pull them. She moved away two years ago, and I fell out of shape... and I miss her. Sounds like a wonderful friendship you two share!! You are both very blessed. (And I'm a little jealous, I'll admit...)

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