Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A-HA moments and cookie whores.

Last week while 14 was at Cross Country practice, I decided that since we are broke, I'd do my grocery shopping at the local Aldi, rather than at Food Kitty where we usually shop. Very few name brands there at Aldi, but their prices are freaking awesome. I ended up with 12 boxes of cereal, and each box was under $2.00. Sure I took my chances on off brands (Millville brand cereal anyone? Anyone?)  I bought two boxes of fake Lucky Charms. This was Monday at 7:00 p.m. By Tuesday morning, both boxes were gone. Apparently the fake Lucky Charms were a hit. It was also the first time that 14 had ever actually eaten the actual cereal WITH the marshmallows. EUREKA!! "Mom, if you actually eat the cereal WITH the marshmallows it's AWESOME!!" Normally 14 picks out the marshmallows and eats those first, THEN eats the cereal bits. It's amazing what can happen when you come out of your box.

Sadly, though, not all of those cheapy boxes of cereal were good. They have a fake Banana Nut Crunch cereal (Post makes the real version and it's great) and it tastes a lot like ass, only nastier. Not that I've actually eaten ass, but if I did, I'm guessing it would be a step up from this fake banana shit. It's all granola with dehydrated banana chips mixed in. Separately, they may taste somewhat decent, but put them together and charge $1.60 per box, and you've got a box of ass. Seriously. If I'd actually spent on this crap what Post normally charges for the real stuff, I'd shit out a puppy. And it would taste better than this cereal. Lesson learned.

A few weeks ago I was talking to my friend Lorrie about marketing my blog a bit better. I had talked with Jen, the head mistress over at People I Want To Punch In The Throat and she suggested doing the Blog Hop at You Know It Happens At Your House Too. Prior to that, I had basically whored myself out to all of my Facebook friends, begging them all to not only read my blog but to post the link on their pages too, thereby getting me more traffic to my site. I had not developed a Facebook page or a Twitter account for the blog but when Jen suggested I do that, I thought, 'GEEZ! Why didn't I think of that??' Another a-ha moment. Which brings me to the conversation with Lorrie I mentioned way back at the beginning of this paragraph. When she and I were discussing my whoring myself out to all my friends for my blog, she mentioned that all Girl Scout moms whore themselves out when it comes time to sell Girl Scout cookies. Wow, I had never thought of that but it's true! It's not the actual Girl Scouts that do most of the selling, it's their moms who become cookie whores. How many of us bring the order form to work and go around, desk to desk, unbuttoning the top three buttons, leaning casually forward so that just a hint of clevage is showing and ask in our most sultry voice, "hey, wanna buy some cookies?" Okay that might not actually work with our female co-workers but it sure does get the men to buy them by the case. Yes, we moms will go the extra mile to make sure little Suzie gets to go on that end of the year horseback riding trip.


17 comments:

  1. LOL! Gotta beware that cheap-o Aldi cereal! It's like buying condoms at the dollar store-- sometimes you get less than you bargained for, like your Banana Funk Crunch for instance. Thanks for the giggle, cookie whore!

    BTW-- don't sell cookies to my hubby. He might die if he actually got a glimpse of real cleavage! I have had an of *that* since I was preggers. :0

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    1. Banana Funk Crunch! AWESOME and appropriate name.

      And I only wore my pushup bra during cookie sales, and it had to work overtime to even FIND my junk to push up. The rest of the year it takes off, because finding my junk then pushing it up takes a Herculean effort.

      Teri

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  2. I know the time is coming in my house when 24 boxes of cereal will last only 3 days. Gannon will have to grow to love "fake" Lucky Charms too, because that will be the only way I can afford to feed him AND Daddy...unless, of course, we just get rid of Daddy... ;o)

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    1. If Daddy quits smoking, you might be able to afford REAL Lucky Charms. Tell him to quit the smokes and you'll feed him. Otherwise, he's on his own.

      Teri

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  3. Cute...story as always made me laugh!!!

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    1. Thanks Tracey!! Glad I could make you laugh. :)

      Teri

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  4. Jeanene AugustowiczAugust 15, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    Love the blog I always get a good chuckle.

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  5. (1) Generic cereal is always a gamble!! Sometimes it's amazing; sometimes it's horrible.

    (2) You are right about that whole cookie mom thing ... when I was in Girl Scouts my dad sold my cookies at work and because he was the project manager for the entire floor, everyone sort of feared termination if they didn't buy haha.

    On that note, whyndon't you try and network your blog on some Mom Blog sites - that's really helped mine. Top mommy Blogs, Bloggy Mom, The Best Mom Blogs ... if you haven't already done so, of course.

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    1. Yup, got my list of cereals to avoid now when I hit Aldi.

      I haven't hit the other Mom blog sites yet. I had no idea promoting the blog would be so time-intensive! I should probably not be doing this during my regular job, but I won't tell if you won't.

      Teri

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  6. We live and die by the Aldi's cereal. I have not purchased the Banana Butt Crunch, and I now know to avoid it like a STD.

    You are on the right track my friend! So glad you linked up, and that you went to Jen for advice. She is the best! I agree with B(itch)Log as well. Top Mommy Blogs, Bloggy Moms, and BlogHer have been great for me!

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    1. Thanks so much!! LOL @ Banana Butt Crunch.

      I will try the other networks too and I appreciate all the help and support you've given!! :)

      Teri

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  7. I love Aldi! I put my quarter in the cart, take my previously purchaced bags (I have a trunk full) and away I go. Where else can you walk out with a mounding cart full for $100. I will make a note to skip that particular banana cereal though. But I do love all the rest of their cereal. The cinnamon toast crunch is great.

    I need some ideas on blog promotion as well. I just started and wanted to write a few more posts before directing too many people to it.

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    1. Thanks for the suggestion on the Cinnamon Toast Crunch! I'll definitely give that one a shot. Aldi does rock! If you can get past the lack of name brands, you can most definitely save a BUNCH!!!

      As far as blog promotion, I definitely would get involved in YKITAYHT's Blog Hop.


      Teri

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  8. I prefer my mornings not to start by tasting ass. It's just a preference I have, mind you.

    Oh man, two boxes of cereal in a day? I am not looking forward to having a teenage boy in the house. God bless you!

    I found you at the TGIF Blog Hop and am your newest follower.

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  9. Wow, you mean you DON'T start your day off with a steaming mug of ass? You haven't lived.

    I'm really happy that I've got kids who aren't too picky about the labels, because the $1.49 box of fake Pop-Tarts are just as good to them as the $2.50 box of real Pop-Tarts. Case in point. Bought a box of chocolate fudge and a box of brown sugar fake Pop-Tarts. Gone in 36 hours. Both boxes.

    Thanks for the follow! I'm going to check out your page now.

    Teri

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  10. I LOVE the fake brand of Lucky Charms but the rest are not so great. As you so eloquently mentioned haha… they taste like ass… especially the fake Frosted Flakes.

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