None of this is okay.......

Yeah, it's been awhile. You remember me? Short, snarky, sarcastic. It'll come back to you. I can wait.

In the meantime, I have something I need to get off my chest.

Last night I attended a vigil for the 11 Jewish victims murdered at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh and for the 2 African-Americans murdered in Jeffersontown, KY. I'm absolutely sickened by the actions of these white supremacists who thought it was okay to murder people in cold blood because they look differently or have different religious backgrounds.

I'm sick of people being horrible to each other. I'm absolutely horrified by the actions of the president of the United States. If you are a Trump supporter, just stop reading now and close the tab because you will disagree with me and want to comment about how wonderful he is and that's just going to make me sick. I don't want to hear anyone tell me about how terrible the Democrats are. I don't have the patience to listen to people say how awful the media is. I'm sick to death of hearing Trump supporters parroting back the shit that comes out of his Twitter feed on a daily basis.  Nothing you can say in favor of Trump is going to get anyone to change their minds. And nothing I say about how terrible he is will change anyone's mind, so let's just agree to disagree and move on, shall we?

The president of the United States is a purveyor of hate. He spews vile rhetoric at his rallies and that seems to give people the permission to be awful, terrible excuses for human beings. Racist, homophobic, intolerant, all of the dregs of society are crawling out of the gutters and have been told by Trump that it's okay to be awful to people who don't look like they do.

As a result of the president giving permission to these disgusting people, there has been an influx of awfulness. There is now so much division, anger, hatred, divisiveness in the United States it's terrifying. If you are black, brown, Spanish, Muslim, gay, trans, bi, anything that doesn't look like the president, you are a target. Does anyone else think it's ironic that Trump paints those people as the villains, yet in the past week it's been 3 white middle aged American men who have perpetrated these violent killings or attempted killings?

Don't even get me started on the 13 explosive devices that were sent by that crazy ass bastard with the sticker-filled van in Florida. Someone posted on my FB wall that 'not all Trump supporters are like that'. But if you support Trump, you can't pick and choose what you want to agree with and what you find distasteful. It's not a buffet. You either support him or you don't. No middle ground. Terrible things have been allowed, even encouraged, in this country since Trump took office, and even more will be allowed to happen. He welcomes it. He has lit a fire of hatred and it's burning out of control.

All I can do is hope for change. I have to believe that there are millions of people out there who are just as sickened about the turn this country has taken and that those people will get out and vote. Vote for people who do not condone the senseless killings of innocent people. Vote for a change. Just vote.

"Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head, all the time.... Can you understand?"  -  John Coffey, The Green Mile, Stephen King, 1996

Profound sadness...

Putting the wit and the snark on hold for today, Snarklings. Yesterday we received some pretty devastating news about one of the members of our community. A child, one day after his 15th birthday, was struck and killed by a car while riding his bike on a twisty rural road. This boy had been a classmate of my own 15 since we moved here 8 years ago. The family lived in our neighborhood when we first moved here.

My own child celebrated her 15th birthday the day before he did. She told me through tears that they used to wish one another a happy birthday, since their birthdays were one day apart. Their last names both started with B, so they were locker neighbors. She recalled how they used to rush to their lockers between classes, and try to see who could open his/her locker first, and they jokingly push one another out of the way as they stood side by side racing to open those lockers.

She said he was a good kid. And she cried. We all are. No mother or father should have to deal with losing a child. But it was an accident, a very tragic accident. And it's just heart-breaking.

Remember all those times I bitched about my girls missing the bus? Remember all the suggestions that they be made to ride their bikes to school? THIS is why I never forced that issue. The roads here are not very bike-friendly.

A Go-Fund-Me account has been set up for the family to help with funeral expenses, and right now, I'm sure they could use all the good thoughts you could send their way.

This morning, my daughters made it to school. But one family in our town isn't so lucky. Our hearts break for them, and our thoughts and prayers go out to them. I have no more words...

Being a parent is hard, yo!

As I prepare to begin my oldest's last year of high school and my youngest's first, I can honestly say I'm filled with so many different emotions:

Fear: What if my oldest doesn't get into a good college and is forced to continue living at home and working at Dairy Queen? Free Blizzards aside, it would be awful for both her AND me. I love that girl, but she needs to learn the responsibility of getting up on her own, getting out the door on time and becoming a mature, responsible person. She is almost 17 and is too old for me to be her personal alarm clock. When I was finishing up my senior year of high school, my mom had moved up to Atlantic City from where we lived in Wildwood because she took a casino job and the 2 hour round trip commute was just too much. She came home on her days off, but I was left with the responsibility of getting myself to and from school, on time, every day. If I made a mess, there was no one else in the house to clean it up. Me thinks almost-17 needs a taste of responsibility.

Sadness: So many of my friends have high school graduates who are either going off to their first year of college or returning for their second year. Those young adults are spending less and less time at home. Some have on-campus jobs that require them NOT to come home for the summer. Forgetting everything I've written up there in that first category, how can it be that in just a year, my oldest will be leaving me, possibly for longer than I'm ready to have her gone? Last week she was a curious 5 year old running up and down the soccer field chasing a soccer ball with 12 other 5 year olds. Just this weekend she was an awkward middle schooler with glasses and braces. And wasn't it only yesterday that she was starting out her freshman year of high school, curious about making new friends and enjoying her time as one of the only 2 freshman on the varsity basketball team? What happened??

Pride: I could NOT be more proud of this child if I tried. Sometimes I'm so filled with pride I feel like I could explode. She's become such an amazing, beautiful and talented young woman that sometimes it's hard to get mad at her for missing the bus. I said sometimes. She's funny as hell, she is helpful to those around her, she's great with kids, patient and kind (kids who aren't her sister, that is). There is another reason that I'm so proud of her that I will talk about another time, but suffice it to say, she's pretty freaking awesome and I wonder how it is that we've raised such a great kid. She didn't come with instructions, yet we've managed to do something right, because she continues to make me proud almost daily.

Excitement: Am I scared to death? Yes. As her mom I'm frightened, since the future is so unknown, but she's smart and will do wonderful things. When she puts her mind to something, there's no stopping her. So I'm excited for her as she enters her senior year in high school and I know that this will be a year full of crazy fun memories for her, and I'm so excited and happy for her that she's as outgoing as she is, with a fantastic group of friends whom I love. Knowing what a great year she'll have definitely leaves me excited for her. But then come graduation, go back and read this list in order. Then repeat.

Being a parent is hard, yo.