People are weird...

That's a quote from my FB page today on a post I just made. And you're right, Andrea Foreman Pendergraff, people ARE weird.

I love checking the terms people use to find my blog. I get the normal search terms like: Is Mike Rowe married? Mike Rowe gay? Mike Rowe single? Mike Rowe naked? I'm still waiting for someone to search for "Is Mike Rowe having a torrid affair with that girl from Snarkfest?" but that hasn't happened yet.

Yet.

Anyway, getting back to search terms, people are, indeed, weird. I wrote a post 2 years ago and the prompt was something about waking up as a member of the opposite sex. My post started out with me waking up and scratching my balls. Now I get people everyday finding my blog by searching "balls". Yes, weird.

Speaking of weird, I love reading weird stories on the whacknet. I found this story out of Florida where a prosecutor posted his thoughts on crack ho's (hoes? What IS the plural of crack ho?) and Supreme Court Justices. Can I just tell you that I thought people who went to law school were 'apposed to be smart? This guy? Not so much. Prepare to be astonished at what they let graduate from law school. Here are his 2 quotes, taken from his Facebook page, which he THOUGHT would be private. Here's a tip, counselor, NOTHING you put on the whacknet is private. NO-THING.

Quote 1:  "Happy Mother's Day to all the crack hoes out there. It' never too late to turn it around, tie your tubes, clean up your life, and make difference to someone out there that deserves a better mother."

Quote 2: (this one regarding Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor) "Reason enough why no country should ever engage in the practice of Affirmative Action again. This could be the result. Where would she be if she didn't hit the quota lottery? Here's a hint: 'Would you like to supersize that sir'?"

I do realize that everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, even assbags. But if you're a prosecutor, someone in an authoritative position in the legal system, aren't you supposed to know better than to post stuff like that on the net? Stupid weirdos.

I'm going to leave you with this bit of weirdness to get you started on your long holiday weekend. Has God ever told you to steal a skateboard? Apparently, God had a sit down with this guy in California and told him that these kids were apparently in danger and it would be a good idea to steal one of their skateboards and try to run away with it. Sure, happens to me all the time.  I see a woman walking down the street with an eclair, and God says "Snarky, beat her with your shoe and take the pastry!" Who am I to say no to God? For God's sake, he's God!


Anyway this guy was a 2nd grade teacher. Read that sentence again. A 2nd grade teacher pushed a kid, stole his skateboard and then said God told him to do it. Is there any wonder why I fear for the future?? Because people are weird.

People are gross...

Let's talk about search terms. When you open up The Google and search stuff, you get a list of websites that are brimming with info on your search term. Or so you'd think.

Normally, if I wanted information on 'farting butterflies', I'd enter the search term "farting butterflies" and hopefully, The Google would bring up a whole bunch of websites with lots of info on this interesting topic.

So someone needs to explain to me how in the WIDE world people find MY blog, THIS little blog here, by typing in weird search terms that have absolutely NOTHING to do with me. Seriously. I write about my kids, my crush on Mike Rowe, current topics. I do NOT, however, write about a girl 'loosing' her virginity to a cat. Or how about this one: 'don't look under my dress perv boy'.  2 years ago I wrote about my daughter buying a homecoming dress that was too small, but never mentioned any perv boy looking up her dress, so how do they find MY blog by searching THOSE terms??

I do get a lot of people finding my blog by searching 'Mike Rowe married', and that fits, because you may or may not know this, but I've got a little crush on him, so that's totally understandable. I may or may not have mentioned him once or forty-bajillion times here. But when someone finds my blog by searching 'twinkies wearing overalls' I have to take pause. First of all, how the hell do Twinkies wear overalls? They don't have shoulders to keep the straps up.

I did write a blog post on Twinkies looking like minions but I never mentioned them wearing clothes. I hate animals or snack cakes wearing clothing. That's a well-known Snarkfest fact.

The search term that one person used grosses me out probably more than any of the others. How about: Boomer Esiason nude?

Excuse me while I go and bleach my brain to get that image out of my head. I posted about Boomer being an assbag, but never ONCE did I ever say anything about him being nude. Rude. A rude dude maybe. Or crude. A crude rude dude. With a 'tude. But nude? No thank you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go see what I can find on the topic of farting butterflies. And I'm sure next week that will be tops on the list of search terms for the Snarkfest blog.

Weirdos.