10 Things Younger Than This Popcorn...

My husband was cleaning out the pantry at his parents house last weekend and he sent the girls home with a little care package. Among the various treats were several boxes of popcorn. One in particular caught my attention. Why? Because it's older than my marriage.  By a lot.

You see, we were married in May of 1995. As you can see from this picture, there was a contest on the popcorn box to win tickets to the Super Bowl in 1995, which means the popcorn was actually made sometime in 1994, at least.

Popcorn circa 1994, newspaper dated July 2015. My teeth hurt.

That got me to thinking about this box of popcorn and the many things that came after its creation. So here is a list of things younger than this box of popcorn.

1. My 17 year old daughter who is leaving for college this Sunday. She was born in 1997, at least 3 years after this box of popcorn was put on the shelf.

2. My marriage.

3. Justin Bieber. This box of popcorn is probably older than Justin Bieber, who was born in early 1994. **shudders

4. The Macarena was released the same year as this popcorn. I like the Macarena better than 21 year old popcorn. It's more relevant.

5. The 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta occurred 2 years after this popcorn was put on a shelf.

6. The show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The popcorn was 5 years old when Regis Philbin asked "Is that your final answer?"

7. Haley Joel Osment saw dead people in The Sixth Sense in 1999, 5 years after Orville made this box of popcorn.

8. Monica Lewinsky had a messy dress thanks to Bill Clinton at least 4 years after this snack sat on a shelf in my in-laws house.

9. My Phillies won the World Series in 2008, quite possibly 14 years after my mother-in-law thought they'd enjoy this tasty, buttery snack.

10. This box of popcorn is older than Danny Bonaduce's short-lived tv talk show, Danny! as well as Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley.

This is one old-ass box of popcorn. I wonder if it's worth anything? (besides big dental bills for all the broken teeth we'll suffer if we try to eat it)

Considering we just watched Super Bowl 50, Super Bowl 1995 will be in 1445 years. Wonder if this will still be good?

Warning: Emotional Train-wreck Ahead

It's been awhile since I've been here and I hope you'll excuse my absence. Shit's been crazy!

I'm warning you right now, I am an emotional wreck. A veritable train-wreck of tears. Seriously, I'm done. I'm sure it's not withdrawal from the antidepressants because I stopped those in early February. No, my friends, I think this is pure Snarkfest emotion from the heart. Shut up, I have a heart!

We lost my Father in law a little over month ago. It was sudden and completely unexpected.

I went back to Jersey to visit with my mom the weekend after Dad's funeral because it'd been way too long and life is too precious not to spend time with those we love. You just never know when your last visit will truly be the last time you see someone.  So I spent the weekend watching the Phillies lose and hugging my mom. That was last month. Yesterday she fell in her apartment building and broke her arm. My heart aches that I can't be with her but with graduation tomorrow there's no way I can drive to Jersey. Thank God for my brother.

As the school year draws to a close, we have end of year banquets, concerts, parties and ultimately, 17's graduation. Yeah, THAT'S not had me in tears. Nope, not me. I've been a emotionless rock. Stoic, solid and.......who the hell am I kidding? I've been crying since December. I'm crying now. I'll be crying until the cows come home.

Do they still say that? Is that still a saying or am I really showing my age?

Whatever, it doesn't matter.  My point is, this is a rough time of year. You know how things change? How quickly we are thrown off course and we struggle to keep ourselves up right, on the right path after a monkey wrench is thrown into the mix? I've been feeling that way lately. Sad at how things don't stay exactly as we want them to. For example, 17 isn't my baby anymore. She's graduating high school tomorrow, and she will be leaving for WVU in the fall. 15 just got her permit to drive, so she's no longer my baby either. And friendships that you think will last, don't.

Life keeps moving. That's the lesson my kids are learning this month. Like Ferris said, life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. Enjoy the time you have with your friends and your family. As morbid or maudlin as this sounds, you never know when it'll be your last time with them. So hug your kids, your parents, your friends, even crazy old Aunt Sally. In not too long a time, they will be gone, whether it's off to college, off to a new job or worst case scenario, gone from your life for good.

Yeah, I'm just a big old all of sunshine today, right? Well, I did warn you with the title of this post. But don't worry about me. I promise I will be out of this funk and back to bitching about stupid people soon enough. For now, I'm going to go home and hug my kids and my dogs and get my  house cleaned up for the graduation tomorrow. Send Kleenex. And wine.

21 More Days Until Hope Springs!!

Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in Florida on February 18. You may not care, but I come from a baseball loving family and we take this date very seriously. You've heard the old saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Well, February 18 is the first day of the baseball season, a fresh start, a clean slate. Every team is starting anew. And we Phillies fans once again have hope. Hope that we won't stink up the joint again this season, as we have in the past few years. Hope that despite trading Jimmy Rollins to the Dodgers, we'll make it to the post-season. Hope that Chase Utley continues to come through with clutch hits at the plate and defensive plays in the infield. Hope that our pitching staff will stay healthy (for once!) and that Ryan Howard will surprise us all with a kick-ass year of hits, runs and RBIs. Hey, we can dream, can't we?

I was there in 1980 when they won the World Series. The day of the parade through the streets of Philadelphia, our 8th grade teacher, Sister Wanda snuck our whole class into the convent so that we could all watch the parade on TV. We watched Schmitty, Boone, Pete and Tugger give their speeches.

Source

I was there in 1993 with the hubby, watching them clinch the Pennant from the nosebleeds at the Vet, and we watched on TV at Charlie's Bar in Somers Point, NJ as Mitch Williams gave up the winning run to Joe Carter to lose the World Series to the Toronto Blue Jays. I've never forgiven him for that. Ask my husband, I still hate that guy. Hold a grudge much?

I was there in 2008 watching them win the World Series with my husband and my daughters and we watched the parade, just days later. I watched Jayson Werth and his Hulk Hands and listened to Chase Utley say that they were the "World Fucking Champions."

Source

Since then, they've traded Werth, and Shane Victorino (our favorite Flyin' Hawaiian) and have slowly gone downhill with each passing season. In 2013 they royally screwed Charlie Manuel by forcing him to retire soon after his 1000th career win. I'll still hold a grudge against Reuben Amaro, Jr. for that one. But whatever.

As we hit the middle of winter, there is one bright spot among the snowdrifts. Only 21 more days until pitchers and catchers report, and the whole season starts anew. And we, once again, will hope for a championship season. Go Phils!!! Make us proud, boys.

Exciting weekend, exciting first week on LeanMoms!

Hola Snarklings!! I write this early Monday morning before I head to work, after a fantastic weekend away in New Jersey. Got a chance to visit with my BFF Mandie on Friday night and want to send out a HUGE congrats to her daughter Steph, who will be opening her school's talent show this week. She's an amazing singer!! And another BIG shout out to her son Scott of the Warminster Phillies who play in their championship game tonight!! Go Phillies!!!

Spent Saturday with Mom and was lucky enough to travel to Sea Isle City with Mom and 13 where we had the opportunity to see my Uncle Terry's band, The Mickey Finn Band perform at Kix-McNutley's. Great little bar and a fantastic band. I was thrilled that my oldest and dearest friend Diane and her mom could make it up to see us! And who should the Mickey Finn Band invite up on the stage to perform 2 songs with them but my one and only 13!! She and Uncle Terry both play the Alto sax and they played beautifully together. What a cool opportunity for a 13 year old girl. So blessed.

Back at home today and starting an exciting new program from the ladies at LeanMoms.com This morning I started with my girl Lisa the Nazicrackho, and we took our measurements and before pics and got started on the program. My program, the Soft to Sculpted Transformation Program is a 12 week meal and exercise program designed to help me to get fit, have more energy, and feel stronger and better about my body. Because right now, I'm not feeling it. I will be blogging each week about my progress on the program and if I'm feeling brave enough, I just may post some pics of me before and after. I will keep track of my progress and let you all know about it on the Snarkfat: My Journey page here on the old blog. LeanMoms has a Facebook page and provide awesome support to those on the program, answering questions, providing tips and tricks to make the program really work well. I can't wait to dive into it and have already enjoyed a delicious omelet this morning. Got my salad with some chicken and almonds all ready to go for lunch and the tilapia is ready to go for dinner tonight. Go have a look at their site and their Facebook page, and if you have any questions, just ask. If I don't know the answer, the ladies at LeanMoms will surely have one. They've been a great source of help thus far.

So that's what's new in Snarkworld. Wish me luck and stay tuned!

Hey, here's a quick update for you:
Courtney over at Fry Sauce and Grits is holding a giveaway for a LeanMoms.com membership! It's a Rafflecopter giveaway so if you're interested, go have a look, read Courtney's story about her 35 lb. weight loss and enter to win a LeanMoms.com Molly Membership for life with a value of $197!  The giveaway ends on June 24th and the winner will be announced that day.

Tuesday Tirade

Happy Tuesday, Snarklings. Well, happy for you maybe. But I'm pretty pissed off. Last night I got a text from 13 at 3:00 that her end of the year track banquet was to be held at the middle school at 6:00 and we were responsible for bringing a beverage. Yay. Nothing like a little short notice to put me on edge.

I finished work at 5:30, drove home and had her feed Henry and Cosmo and we headed for the Food Lion to get some Cokes to take with us. I gave 15 and 13 some cash and my MVP card and they went in while I waited in the car to check my voicemail. While I was listening to my mom's message, two guys pulled up in a car next to mine and got out laughing. It was as they were walking past my rear bumper that I heard a strange noise. Kind of like something being pulled off the back of my car, but I really didn't pay too close attention because mom was still talking on the voicemail, so I forgot about the noise.

After the track banquet, I headed over to the middle school library for the PTO meeting at 7:00. When we left the meeting at 8:30 I stopped at the back of my car to find this:

Shut up, I know my car is filthy.

Someone HAD, in fact, STOLEN the giant Phillies magnet off the back of my car. I was, and am still PISSED at this theft. FURIOUS even!! That was MY magnet, MY property. Who the hell would rip it off the back of my car?? What gives them the right to think that they can just take something that doesn't belong to them from someone else's car?? Maybe if they weren't Phillies fans they could've just made a rude comment, but to rip the magnet off my car?? Really?? I went back to Food Lion on my way home, scoured the parking lot, looked in the trash, and went to customer service to see if anyone had possibly turned it in. No luck.

So to whomever decided that it would just be fucking hilarious to steal a magnet off the back of my vehicle, I hope you get a mind-blowing case of herpes, a scorching case of crabs and an oozing case of gonorrhea. I hope your nuts shrivel up and fall to the ground and you step on them. I hope you can't sleep at night from the guilt I'm sure you have over taking something that wasn't yours. You're an asshole, and I want my magnet back.