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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

10 Things Younger Than This Popcorn...

My husband was cleaning out the pantry at his parents house last weekend and he sent the girls home with a little care package. Among the various treats were several boxes of popcorn. One in particular caught my attention. Why? Because it's older than my marriage.  By a lot.

You see, we were married in May of 1995. As you can see from this picture, there was a contest on the popcorn box to win tickets to the Super Bowl in 1995, which means the popcorn was actually made sometime in 1994, at least.

Popcorn circa 1994, newspaper dated July 2015. My teeth hurt.
That got me to thinking about this box of popcorn and the many things that came after its creation. So here is a list of things younger than this box of popcorn.

1. My 17 year old daughter who is leaving for college this Sunday. She was born in 1997, at least 3 years after this box of popcorn was put on the shelf.

2. My marriage.

3. Justin Bieber. This box of popcorn is probably older than Justin Bieber, who was born in early 1994. **shudders

4. The Macarena was released the same year as this popcorn. I like the Macarena better than 21 year old popcorn. It's more relevant.

5. The 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta occurred 2 years after this popcorn was put on a shelf.

6. The show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The popcorn was 5 years old when Regis Philbin asked "Is that your final answer?"

7. Haley Joel Osment saw dead people in The Sixth Sense in 1999, 5 years after Orville made this box of popcorn.

8. Monica Lewinsky had a messy dress thanks to Bill Clinton at least 4 years after this snack sat on a shelf in my in-laws house.

9. My Phillies won the World Series in 2008, quite possibly 14 years after my mother-in-law thought they'd enjoy this tasty, buttery snack.

10. This box of popcorn is older than Danny Bonaduce's short-lived tv talk show, Danny! as well as Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley.

This is one old-ass box of popcorn. I wonder if it's worth anything? (besides big dental bills for all the broken teeth we'll suffer if we try to eat it)

Considering we just watched Super Bowl 50, Super Bowl 1995 will be in 1445 years. Wonder if this will still be good?

7 comments:

  1. I remember cleaning out my parents pantry years ago, probably when that popcorn was made. So as we're going through this pantry I came across a jar of all spice dated 1973!! The year I was born! Now considering that my dad was in the army for 25 years, about 5 years BEFORE I saw this Jar, and on average we had moved roughly every 3 years during his service, this jar of spices had travelled the world with us! My mum's excuse was that although the Jar was old, the contents were new. As she ran out of all spice she'd buy a new jar.....the juries still out on that one lol

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    1. That's hilarious, Tessa! What a well-traveled jar of all-spice!! I'd love to see its passport!

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  2. I cleaned out my pantry last weekend. Not too bad, probably nothing more than 8 years old, but we're talkin bout old spices missed during the last clean out. :-) I finally got rid of some clothes that were older than my oldest (14). I felt it was time.

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  3. That's funny because my ex-husband and I got married in July of 1995!
    So this popcorn outlasted our love for each other......

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  5. Wow. I loved the Danny Bonaduce talk show and actually went to see a taping, back on my 20th Birthday. This box of popcorn is older than me turning legal. It's approximately as old as my high school graduation. That means it's outlived me ever enacting on my high school hopes and dreams, past a marriage that ended when I became widowed, then I had two children and remarried. That box of popcorn has seen more than most people hope to in an entire lifetime.

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  6. My first marriage and divorce are younger than that popcorn. But inquiring minds want to know - did you pop it anyway??

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