Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!
Showing posts with label Oprah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oprah. Show all posts

Thursday, July 25, 2013

LUCKY ME!!! I won the spam lottery!

I'm looking into investment options today. Got any hot stock tips you wanna pass along? Because I have HIT the JACKPOT! Look at my spam folder:


If you add these up, I believe I may just be richer than Oprah AND Bill Gates combined! Those Euro-Million Lottery winners are SO generous! They don't even KNOW me and are willing to donate millions to me. They must REALLY like snark! And not one but TWO emails from the African Development & Mo (whoever Mo is) asking me to let them know if I'm alive or not. How can I let them know I'm alive if I'm NOT alive? Who cares?? They want to give me MONEY!!!!

And don't be sad over the death of the late Gianni Agnelli, he lived a good, long, fake life and although I never met him, he really must've loved my blog about dressing up your dogs because he left me $60,5000000.00 dollars. Generous old geezer.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over at the country club. Buying it. And talking to my real estate agent on the phone to buy some beachfront property in Kansas. I hear the beaches there are lovely this time of year.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Oh baby I'm so tired.

That was a very funny line from an Oprah show about 800 years ago. I can't find the video, I'm sure it's out there, but I'm too tired to go looking. I did try, really I did. But I gave up after about 3 clicks. I had a headache last night after work, and then went to back to school night with 12. Fun seeing all the moms of her friends but still had the headache when I got home. I farted around on FB, watched Hardcore Pawn with the family and then wrestled 15 off the computer and made everyone go to bed. I read for a bit (Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, AWESOME book but had to force myself to put it down), set my alarm for 6:55 and off to sleep I went.

This morning, when that alarm went off at 6:55 I stared at it in complete disbelief. 15's bus comes at 7:00. 12's bus comes at 7:04. Anyone care to tell me WTF I was thinking setting my alarm for 6:55?? I was tired yesterday after 15 caught her bus and I had to drive 12 to school, so I came home and went back to sleep (hence me resetting the alarm). Yep, I'm tired. I'm not sure why I'm so damned tired. I do know that I have an appointment on Friday with my doctor to discuss my elevated thyroid levels, so maybe that's part of it. Maybe it's running (which is supposed to energize me, not make me a zombie), maybe it's cleaning the house for inlaws over last weekend, maybe it's all the kids' activities, while working full time. Maybe it's trying to keep everyone happy and stretching myself too thin. But whatever the hell it is, I'm sitting here at my desk with heavy lidded eyes just counting the hours until I can go back to bed.

Not going to happen too early tonight. I've got back to school night with 15 tonight, then Spirit Night at Chick Fil-A to raise money for 15's High School Marching Band. Probably not going to happen tomorrow night. Our Team Fossil meeting is tomorrow night, followed by the last workout before the Tough Mudder on Saturday. Definitely not going to happen on Friday night. First home football game of the season for 15, so she'll be playing in the marching band and I'll be working in the concession stand. Saturday is the Tough Mudder where I will run 10 miles and leap hay bales, crawl into muddy tunnels, attempt to carry my body weight while doing monkey bars, climbing, crawling, getting electrocuted, swimming, carrying a log up a hill, good times, people, good times!

I swear to God, I am sleeping all day Sunday. As God as my witness, I'm sleeping ALL. DAMN. DAY. So that I can start all over again next Monday. Except that's when Volleyball games start for 12. Ugh, is it Christmas break yet?