Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Tuesday Tirade

No, I'm not starting a weekly event. Just a few things to get off my chest on this dreary Tuesday morning. First of all, what is it with the internet? I'm sitting at home this morning watching Bones on Netflix (Bones is my latest obsession, by the way. I'm on season 4 episode 1) and with just 2 minutes left in the show, my damn internet stops working. What. The. Hell?? So thank you, internet gods, for pissing me off.
Courtesy toptvshows.net
Next up, clothes on the floor. Seriously. I realize that there are gajillions of starving people in Africa but I'mma let Bob Geldoff handle that for right now. My concern is the continuous pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. Why? Why are they always there? Why do I have to ask EVERY. EFFING. DAY for them to be removed. Wouldn't you think that after hearing me drone on forever about it, she'd just be like, 'oh, look at those clothes of  mine on the bathroom floor, do I really want to listen to mom whine and bitch and moan YET AGAIN?? No, this time I'll put them in the hamper and maybe she'll give me some positive reinforcement instead of the constant droning on about them being on the floor.' Nope, never gonna happen. Sucks to be me.
Image courtesy cppeoplemedia.com
She looks this way because she probably had a huge brood of kids who constantly
had to be told to pick up their dirty clothes off the bathroom floor. Kids, this is me in  20 years.
While we're on the topic of my offspring, how about data? That's right. Data. Data on a phone that's NOT supposed to have ANY data capability. I bought stupid phones, not smart phones, but my kids have somehow managed to turn a stupid phone INTO a smart phone and in the process, ended up costing me almost $160 extra over the last 4 months. They started off small. Just a slight increase in cell phone charges, which I chalked up to maybe extra taxes or something, until last month's bill was WELL over $95 higher than normal. When I logged onto the phone company's website and checked it out, there's been overages of data EVER MONTH since January. On phones that aren't even supposed to USE data!!! Turns out they've been receiving Tweets from Twitter directly to their cell phones. "But mom, THAT'S not using data!!!" Well, if THAT'S not using data, obviously SOMETHING is. So I did what any overpaying, underappreciated mom would do. I disabled Tweets to their phones. But guess what. SOMEBODY went back and UN-DISABLED my disabling. Did you follow that? Let's just say the Tweets were enabled again. Let's also say that NOW, said child no longer has the capability of doing ANYTHING on that phone other than talking or texting.......and texting is hanging on a very precariously steep slope and could go at any minute. Can you imagine what's going to happen when my child actually has to start.....gulp......TALKING on  CELL PHONE??? What will she do with her thumbs without texting? Maybe her thumbs will get fat from lack of exercise?
Old school phone. Next step: Smoke signals
So anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel much better now. Maybe I'll do this again next Tuesday. Or not. We shall see. Until next time, Snarklings..........

16 comments:

  1. Bones? I am almost through all 232 episodes of CSI Miami and am freaking about what I will watch next! I think I will give Bones a try.

    I cannot tell you how many times I tell her to call her dad and ask him something for her to start texting. I have actually grabbed the phone and yelled... CALLLLLLLL

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    1. I had never actually watched Bones before but we started streaming Netflix and I figured, why not. I'm LOVING it!! Plus, David Boreanaz isn't too hard on the eyes.

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  2. I love Bones! I started watching it when I had the flu and my friend had gotten the first few seasons for Christmas. =) And somehow SOMEBODY (not me) ordered a $10 monthly screensaver app on their phone by accident a few months ago. Ok, fine it was me. But I didn't mean to.

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  3. Other then Bones (Mine is Mad Men) everything you just ranted on came straight from my mouth.
    We live in a tiny town with one, yep ONE phone company; our internet cuts out multiple times a day (we ask whoever is up to 'plug and unplug' even though we should say 'unplug and plug' to re-start the connection). The phone company will do nothing about it.
    Don't get me started on the bathroom floor. Daily I ask, the Wet Clothes Fairy STILL hasn't arrived! Pick up your CLOTHES!! Daily.
    And when I asked T-Mobile why they would activate internet on one of my phones without permission ($120 worth of internet) they said they would give me a discount on it. I didn't ask for a discount, I asked WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! HoneyBadger don't care.

    I think you should keep Tuesday Rant Day just so I can then post my rants and feel justified :)

    Have a fabulous rest of the day!!

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    1. You're in good company Dawn! Wet towels, dirty clothes, GAH!!!! LOVE the HoneyBadger reference.

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  4. I love Bones. We have one waiting on our tivo for tonight. I'm so excited. Ever notice how they never drink white wine? But they drink beer or red wine in almost every episode. My husband and I also have a Bones drinking game: every time something improbable happens (which includes just about every time Angela does anything with her computer), take a drink. Better make it a sip because otherwise you'll be drunk by the end of one show. :)

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    1. I have noticed no one drinks white wine. Maybe that's why I like the show so much? ;)
      I just got past the episode where it turns out Zack is Gorgamon's apprentice and I gotta say I was floored.

      I'm going to play your drinking game tonight with a nice glass of red. Just hoping I make it to the end of the episode without getting hammered!

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  5. Is Bones the show with the chick that looks like what Mischa Barton would look like in her 30's if she stayed off the drugs? If so, I've seen an episode or two and loved it. Just got Netflix (so I could watch "Scandal" - LOVE) and now am gonna watch Bones!
    And sister, you are preachin' to the choir with the clothes....AND WET TOWELS. Every.Damn.Day. They ignore me. I'm redoing their bathroom in May and I'm removing the towel rack and not even putting up hooks. Or a hamper. Thinking of releasing mice.

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    1. I think so, Michelle. Big blue eyes? Her sister is Zoe Deschanel. Let me know how the mice work out!!

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  6. All phones should be called 'smart phones' because that's what they do. They become too smart for you, and the bills are a classic example of this. Maybe you should start to gather the kids highly treasured possessions and let them know it will go to auction to cover the cost should they un-disable what you disabled, that might just wake them up, ha ha ha.

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  7. My daughter has all her clothes on the floor. I looked at her like, 'really?'. She says to me, 'What? Don't you like my floordrobe?' To which I cracked up and just walked out of her room.

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    1. I'm sorry, Rebecca but I'm laughing at floordrobe too. That's pretty good.

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  8. Eventually, teen phones will not have phone features. Nope. Just a big keyboard and an Instagram button and one that hides what they're doing when a parent picks up the phone.

    It'll be a slow evolution, like those blind cave fish who don't have eyes anymore.

    And it's 6:44 a.m., so why am I now thinking about Emily Deschanel in a wet towel?

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    1. I want to know what you're doing up on a Saturday morning at 6:44 anyway? What sick twisted time do your kids play soccer anyway?

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