Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Ungrateful 15

Let me tell you a little story about my oldest child. I love her like no one I've ever loved with the exception of her sister. I am more proud of her than you can ever begin to imagine. She is the light of my life, the cream in my coffee, the jelly to my peanut butter. But tonight, I was ready to put her up for sale to the highest bidder. Look up ungrateful in the dictionary, you will find 15's picture.

Let me elaborate. It all started this morning at 6:05 when I woke her ass up the first time. Then continued at 6:10, 6:15 and 6:20 when I went back up to get her up again (and again and again). She finally dragged her ass into the shower at 6:35. Naturally, at 7:00 when the bus came (and went) she wasn't on it.  And naturally, being the idiot sucker kindhearted mom that I am, I drove her (again). Ask me how many times she    missed the bus last week. Go ahead, ask.

Fast forward to this evening. At 7:00 I arrived at her high school to pick her up from basketball practice and headed to the middle school to her sister's basketball game. IMMEDIATELY upon entering the car, she informs me that they have to dress up for tomorrow's basketball game in Virginia, and that she has NO nice dressy clothes to wear, so would I PLEASE take her to Kohls and buy her some nice new dressy clothes. Yes, she's asking me to blow off her sister's basketball game to take her to buy new clothes because the poor thing has no nice things to wear. "She'll have like, 14000 other games, it's okay if you miss this one." The answer was no. I'm not taking her to buy her anything new when I know for a fact that she's got tons of nice clothes in her room. They're just buried under all the shit that's on her floor. Oh yeah, and did I mention she missed the bus AGAIN?? Yeah, maybe had she MADE the bus this morning I'd be a little more willing to drive her to Kohls and buy her pretty things But dammit, she didn't and she just thinks it's my obligation to do as she wishes. I know damn well she's got nice dressy black pants in that mess she calls a room. She also has several pretty sweaters and blouses and camis she can wear with them. But no, because she can't find them, she doesn't have them so I MUST take her shopping.

Then, while we're sitting at her sister's game, the husband asked me what my plan is for tomorrow. I explained that I'll pick 13 up from practice and then head to the band booster meeting at the high school. 15 perks up and says "You're not coming to MY game??? You can't miss 13's game but you can miss MY game???" Well, let me just calmly explain that I'll be attending the first band booster meeting I've been able to attend in 3 months. Ask me why I've missed the last 3 months. Well, I'll tell you. Because I was busy working in the concession stand at high school JV football games and soccer games. Now, let me clarify something for those who think, 'wow, what an awful mom, she can miss the older daughter's games but not the younger??' I am a member of the band boosters organization for the high school marching band, an organization to which 15 belongs. And when I miss a band booster meeting because I'm working concessions, it's because every time I work in the concession stand, I earn money for 15's band account, which means she gets to go on trips and events and it doesn't cost much money out of pocket. So I'm not just blowing off her game, as I believe she thinks, but I'm trying to catch up on what I've missed over the past 3 months.

Since we arrived home from 13's game I have been confronted with nothing but attitude, nastiness and disrespect. I left to run to the grocery store and when I came back, I did receive an apology, which I accepted, but I did NOT forgive. And now she is uploading stuff onto her iPod for the bus trip to her game tomorrow and is out of money on her iTunes, so she's asking if she can use the money on my account and pay me back (in quarters). Really???

Why is it that she is only nice and kind to me when she wants something from me? Why does she think that I am here for her to walk on and treat like shit? I have become a doormat for my 15 year old daughter. And apparently, I've allowed it to happen. Well, no more.

How do you handle disrespectful offspring? How many of my fellow moms or dads have allowed themselves to become doormats? What does YOUR doormat say? Mine must say "Tread on me".

28 comments:

  1. Wait. What the hell time was it when you went grocery shopping???
    I'm just impressed that your kids must not read your blog so you get blog therapy. Mine do so I can't really vent and that really pisses me off.
    Stay strong, sister. She'll eventually grow up and you can laugh when she asks you to babysit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The grocery store is literally 100 yards from my house so it was about 9:00 when I went. And my kids DO read my blog, so I'm guessing I'll get some more attitude when she finally DOES get online and read it.

      LOL at laughing when she asks me to babysit. I know I'm going to sound just like my mom, but man I hope she has a bunch of ungratefuls just like her. But later, many years from now. :)

      Delete
  2. oh man I do not look forward to the teenage years

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll pray for you, you pray for me, it'll all work out.

      Delete
  3. Well let's look on the bright side: she apologized, and that's good. Ummm, yeah. That's all I got. ;) Nahh, just kidding. This too shall pass mama. You're handling it all just fine. I have every confidence that you will keep her in check and maybe even hold on to your sanity in the process!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I'm holding on my a tiny thread Dina. A greasy, slippery teeny thread.

      Delete
  4. Sadly, I can relate to all of this--I have already been through this phase 4 times ( my kids range in age from 25-17). That sucky, know-it-all-attitude always started around 13, peaked around 15 and then by high school graduation they start to mellow out a bit and become REAL people! Look at it this way--aliens stole your kid and replaced her with a pod person. You will get that sweet daughter you remember back when she is around 18 and ready to move out of the house ...it just takes a few years for them to truly appreciate your awesome mommy self! Hang in there--she'll be one of your closest friends when she hits her twenties!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a coincidence that she's 15 and it's peaking! Marcia, I'm constantly saying that when they do GOOD, NICE things, I'm checking the basement for pods. But really, what happened to my sweet baby girl??? Alien abduction are REAL!! Twenties are a long way off!!

      Delete
  5. Living it with you Teri. Good thing is that planting the first one on her college campus has shed a new light on a lot of things for her. She learned to do it for herself. At 6 hours away, I cannot save her butt, and the college teachers don't really care for excuses. Good news is that she is pulling it off. Yours will to and they will come home and give you hugs out of the blue...just because they want to.

    The part I am looking forward to is the part where she, like me, apologizes for EVERYTHING once she has her own children. It was amazing how even my own tune changed once I had a couple of children. I have apologized to my dad reapeatedly over the last 18 years and wondered in amazement how he pulled off parenting and made it look easy - widowed dad with 2 teen daughters...YIKES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, you hit it right on the head. I'm truly trying to prepare her for the future. I don't want to see her fail, none of us want that for our kids. I just had no idea she would fight me so much in the process. I can't wait for those out of the blue hugs. I give your dad a ton of credit.

      Delete
  6. Oh wow, it's like reading about myself when I was a teen -- I was a HORROR for my poor mom. However, I swear it totally worked it's way (mostly) out of my system by time I graduated high school. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julie, I'm just going to try to take things day by day and each night when I go to bed and I haven't sold her to the gypsies, I'm going to call that a success. :)

      Delete
  7. Somehow I managed to survive 3 teenage boys; I didn't have a girl. But I've blocked the memories from my mind for sanity reasons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard there's not as much drama but the smell is worse with boys, Eva. ;)

      Delete
  8. I read your blog and just dread the day mine hits 13 and god, 15! My dad used to smack us, but we NEVER got out of line and well, society frowns on smacking I guess. Be strong..... I need someone to look up to when I am the one dealing with the attitude!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jules I did spank when they were small. They're not so small these days. But I am and always will be mom and deserve respect. I'll be there for you, you promise to pray for me!

      Delete
  9. I'm scared. Three girls. I'll have a 15, 12, and 10...or a 17, 14, and 12.....and while they're all still home 18, 15, 13.....their brother will be a cake walk compared I'm guessing. Lucky for him he goes through the teenage years first (and that way he can beat any potential boyfriends to a pulp).

    I think you are super mom. You are amazing. Not many would do what you do....or half of what you do.

    15 hopefully reads this and sees past whatever 15 yr angst she'll throw out there......what a lucky kid to have you for a mom!!!

    Joy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joy, I don't envy you at all. You'll have three different times when you've got a 15 year old. YIKES!!! But you'll do well, you've got patience and perserverence!

      Delete
  10. The Princess is my one and only. I was an only child, she's an only child. Ummm...I heard the word ungrateful ALL my life. Maybe she's like me & GRATEFUL...but just DOESN'T know how to communicate very well. ??? Or maybe I'm still ungrateful too. Hmmmm. The Princess can most DEFINITELY work me. All day & all night that girl works me. & no, SHE NEVER HAS ANYTHING TO WEAR EITHER. EVER. She's 12. OH EM GEE. I'M AFRAID. VERY, VERY AFRAID.
    Hugs, Cyn
    A.D.D. Music Mamma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't it sad that we NEVER get them anything nice to wear. It must be just AWFUL that we make them go to school wearing plastic grocery bags on their feet, burlap sacks for dresses. Poor babies.

      Delete
  11. oooph....girl. You are making me dread the teenage years, although, the Little Man is already giving me an idea at twelve what to expect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennay, we need to stay strong (and keep the booze handy!)

      Delete
  12. Holy crap balls!!!!!!I'm in shock as I type this...were our daughters separated at birth?? (logically I know this is NOT the case seeing as mine just turned 11 in October) but I experienced, DO experience~~ THE EXACT. SAME. THING. Right down to the melt down over clothes at Kohl's (OUR episode was last Wednesday night and for a choir concert, not band...) I want to type more yet she is due off the bus in 5 minutes, it's pouring cats and dog's...and THAT will be my fault as well (because I control the weather as we all know..) Sigh. Glad to know I'm not alone...hang in there, and Yes, every night we haven't sold them to the gypsy's is progress, right??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do consider it a good night if both of my girls are still alive and under my room when we turn out the lights. Mission accomplished for yet another day. :)

      Delete
  13. threaten with a 780th month abortion? ok ok, relax i'm kidding! sorry, my sense of humor with kids has turned rather dark. between my husband and i we have a huge family. i have jumped feet first into 3 "you're not my mom" almost grown teens along with my 3 little ones. make them work for EVERYTHING for a while. water for showers, clean clothes, grooming products. make her appreciate it. works with all 6 of mine. we have to work to take care of them. why can't they learn to do for themselves?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, a bit late in the game for that threat. I'm trying to get her to learn to do it herself. We're having them do their own laundry now, bedclothes, and if this one keeps up the attitude, she'll be getting herself a job to buy her own damned clothes!

      Delete
  14. I like to think I can fool myself by thinking I can be prepared for when I eventually become a parent... Then I read posts by actual parents... Then I enjoy being child free just a bit more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enjoy it while you can. And you are never ever prepared for children, so have just a little bit more fun, then jump right in!! Trust me, you're safe from the negative attitude for a few more years (at least until they learn to speak).

      Delete

I do read all comments and try to respond to them. Unless you're trying to get me to visit your website: Cheap Louis Vuitton Bags. Then you can go pound sand.