Boxtops and Breakdowns...

This morning started off like every other morning does. I woke 15 up for school, I made coffee, I woke her up again, I drank the coffee, I woke her up again. Status quo. When I emptied the coffee grounds into the garbage, then took the garbage out to the garage, I found a Boxtop. For those of you who don't have kids in the school system, Boxtops are those little square things on cereal boxes, tissues and other packaging that are worth a dime to your school. I've been cutting them off of Cheerios since 18 was 5. It's almost like my brain is programmed to do so. I collect them and send them to school so that school can make money.

Let me be clear: only elementary and middle schools in our area participate in the Boxtops for Education program. My kids are in college and high school. Yet, still I cut them. Still I save them. I'd hate for a school to lose a dime. When I get enough of these Boxtops I give them to my neighbor who still has a child in middle school.

Let's get back to me in my garage. I saw a Boxtop on the floor. I bent over and picked it up. It was covered in garage goo, so I brought it into the kitchen and I RAN IT UNDER WATER TO RINSE IT OFF. I rinsed off a piece of cardboard so a school would not lose a dime. I have officially lost my mind.

In the past 2 weeks I have run the gamut of emotions. I saw 18 (yes, she's 18 now) for the first time in a month and I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. When I got to spend 4 minutes with her during her break from marching in the WVU football game with the Pride of West Virginia Marching Band, I could not stop touching her. I rubbed her back, I stroked her hair, I kept my arm around her. It was like, if I stopped touching her, it wouldn't be real, she wouldn't really be there. God I missed her.

If seeing her for the first time was the ultimate in joy, saying goodbye to her just a few short hours later was the ultimate sadness. And seeing her sister have to say goodbye to her all over again broke my heart into tiny little pieces.

I saw my mom recently and spent a weekend with her. She broke her arm at the beginning of the summer and I spent a week with her then. This time it was good to see her again under better circumstances. When I saw her this time, she and I discussed her living situation and how concerned my brother and I were that she is so vulnerable in her apartment. She's 77, living alone in a senior citizens high rise apartment building. Many of her friends are gone and we are concerned about her, God forbid, tripping in the apartment and no one knowing that she needs help. So we discussed the possibility of moving her to an assisted living facility. I explained to her that she would still have her freedom, but that there would be someone there to check in on her. It's one thing for me to call her everyday to say hi and chat, but I'm 4 hours away. I am of no help if, God forbid, she falls in the tub. She seemed receptive to the idea and agreed that when the time felt right to her, she would let us know.

Then I began the search for affordable assisted living facilities, and guess what! THEY DON'T EXIST. I'm looking at places in Philly because she wants to be closer to my brother and her own brother. $3500 for a studio apartment in an assisted living facility. $1800 if she wants to share a semi-private room

As I drove to 15's volleyball game last night with a car full of snacks for the team, I chatted with mom. We discussed the unbelievably ridiculous cost of taking care of a senior citizen who wants to remain independent. We discussed my commitment to my children and my family. She told me that I needed to slow down and stop trying to be all things to all people. And I cried. I cried because as much as I say I'm fine, I've got this, I can handle it, I'm lying. I really don't have this. I really can't handle it. I want my mom to be safe, I want the best for my kids, but I need to realize that I am NOT solely responsible for everything and everyone. I need to learn how to say the word "NO" and mean it.

I washed off a Boxtop this morning and realized that I've lost my sense of me. The Boxtop doesn't matter. I'm gone. Put my picture on a carton of milk, or better yet, on a wine bottle. I need to stop worrying about Boxtops. I need to stop worrying if I've got enough snacks for everyone on the volleyball team (including the managers!), I need to take a step back and remember that I'm a very important piece of this puzzle, and if I don't take care of myself, everything else falls apart. I'm going to take a step back and let someone else do the legwork. Let someone else do the worrying for a little while.

And I'm not going to feel guilty if a Boxtop goes un-redeemed. In the big scheme of things, there are so many other things that are much more important than a dirty Boxtop.

Another GIVEAWAY from Scooby-Doo and LEGO? No way!!

Good morning, Snarklings! Got a link to some cool videos and a GIVEAWAY for you guys today! How about that? What more could you ask for on this cool, crisp late summer Monday?

First, check out these amazing Scooby-Doo stop motion videos created using the brand new LEGO Scooby-Doo sets!  New videos will be uploaded weekly, so be sure to visit Scooby-Doo.com and subscribe to the WB Kids YouTube channel.

For the Giveaway, just enter to win using the rafflecopter widget below, it's THAT EASY!


a Rafflecopter giveaway *Disclaimer: I was compensated for this post, but all opinions are my own.

It's Really 10 Months: Special Delivery

Hey Snarklings, I'm in a new anthology that was released yesterday, and I could NOT be anymore excited about it, even if Mike Rowe showed up at my house wearing nothing but a smile. THAT'S how excited I am!

This book is available right now. You can download it or buy a hard copy but whatever you do, however you get it, you need to GET. IT. Seriously, I have literally been laughing out loud at the stores I've read. Here are a few excerpts from the book to give you a taste of what's to come.

And here's mine:

We are so proud of this book and I want to shout about it from the rooftops. However, my HOA has strict rules about that, so I'll just write  about it instead. Purchase your copy today! If you want a personalized copy, I've got 'em!! Just email me at terib19 @ gmail .com

Why Ashley Madison customers deserve what's coming to them...

It's been all over the news about the hackers getting all the names, addresses, credit card numbers and other info from Ashley Madison. And to that I say GOOD! Those cheating bastards DESERVE to be outed. Why get married if you're not going to take your wedding vows seriously? Men who cheat on their wives are scum. I am not afraid to state my opinion on that. They are pigs. Why do I feel so strongly about this? Let me tell you a little story.

Once upon a time, I had a very dear friend who lived nearby. We spent tons of time together, she and I, watching our children play and drinking wine (us, not our children. What kind of parents do you think we are, anyway?).  Her husband traveled a lot for business and she and I got to be great friends.

One day I was driving home from work and happened to see something odd on her front lawn. It was the type of sign that a realtor puts in someone's yard when they are trying to sell their house. The sign wasn't there, but the sign holder was. So I went to my friend's house and asked 'what the fuck?' She wanted to tell me, but couldn't find the right words. It seems her husband was being transferred to another region, 6 hours away from where we lived, and she just didn't now how to tell me. We cried together, and drank more wine, because......wine. And when the day came for them to leave, we cried some more.

We've continued to keep in touch because we love each other, and not long after they moved, she called to tell me that she was expecting another baby. I was beyond thrilled for her. She called me not long after that to tell me that the baby she was carrying had Downs Syndrome. I was shocked and we talked at length. She said she and her husband had come to terms with it and that they would be fine.

Flash forward to just a few months after the baby was born. She discovered that her loving husband was actually a cheating bastard with an Ashley Madison account. And he had had that account for quite some time. He had set up dates all over the country, every time he would travel. He was getting busy all over the place and made full use of his Ashley Madison account. Needless to say she divorced his sorry ass and I can only hope he's nursing a scorching case of herpes. I also hope he's sweating his ass off over this scandal. He, and every man who cheats on his wife, deserves whatever shit that is about to hit his fan.

Roots and Wings.....

It’s been a really quick summer. Too quick, in fact. Just two short months ago, 17 graduated high school. And in just 18 short days, I’ll be dropping her off at college. What the hell, time? Why are you going by so fast? Remember when I was in labor with her and you moved so damn slowly? I remember that, and I remember thinking “Oh God this is taking forever!!” Well, if I could go back and change that, I would. If I could make the time stand still, I would. But I can’t, and in just 18 days, life as we know it will change forever....

Read the rest of this post at Mamalode, where I'm talking about dropping 17 off at college and trying to keep it together.

10 Things Younger Than This Popcorn...

My husband was cleaning out the pantry at his parents house last weekend and he sent the girls home with a little care package. Among the various treats were several boxes of popcorn. One in particular caught my attention. Why? Because it's older than my marriage.  By a lot.

You see, we were married in May of 1995. As you can see from this picture, there was a contest on the popcorn box to win tickets to the Super Bowl in 1995, which means the popcorn was actually made sometime in 1994, at least.

Popcorn circa 1994, newspaper dated July 2015. My teeth hurt.

That got me to thinking about this box of popcorn and the many things that came after its creation. So here is a list of things younger than this box of popcorn.

1. My 17 year old daughter who is leaving for college this Sunday. She was born in 1997, at least 3 years after this box of popcorn was put on the shelf.

2. My marriage.

3. Justin Bieber. This box of popcorn is probably older than Justin Bieber, who was born in early 1994. **shudders

4. The Macarena was released the same year as this popcorn. I like the Macarena better than 21 year old popcorn. It's more relevant.

5. The 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta occurred 2 years after this popcorn was put on a shelf.

6. The show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The popcorn was 5 years old when Regis Philbin asked "Is that your final answer?"

7. Haley Joel Osment saw dead people in The Sixth Sense in 1999, 5 years after Orville made this box of popcorn.

8. Monica Lewinsky had a messy dress thanks to Bill Clinton at least 4 years after this snack sat on a shelf in my in-laws house.

9. My Phillies won the World Series in 2008, quite possibly 14 years after my mother-in-law thought they'd enjoy this tasty, buttery snack.

10. This box of popcorn is older than Danny Bonaduce's short-lived tv talk show, Danny! as well as Michael Jackson's marriage to Lisa Marie Presley.

This is one old-ass box of popcorn. I wonder if it's worth anything? (besides big dental bills for all the broken teeth we'll suffer if we try to eat it)

Considering we just watched Super Bowl 50, Super Bowl 1995 will be in 1445 years. Wonder if this will still be good?

In the market for college text books? Or a new car?

Hey Snarklings! First of all, do you see that line of sharing icons that appears above this line of text and the title of this post? Yeah, you'll also see another line of sharing icons at the end of this post. Why? Because I'm a dipshit and can't figure out how to get rid of one without getting rid of both. It has to do with HTML code and whenever I look at code I fall asleep. Thank God I'm not a computer programmer because at the mere mention of HTML my eyes get heavy and I start to drool and snore.

I tried to add those share buttons to the bottom of my posts and instead they show up top and bottom. And I can't figure out how to get rid of one of them. If you really love me, you'll overlook the fact that I'm a code-spaz. If you REALLY REALLY love me, you'll share my crap regardless of whether the share buttons are on top or the bottom.

*EDITED: now the share buttons are NOT showing up on the bottom. Which is fine, as long as they show up SOMEWHERE. But I still feel like a dipshidiot for being clueless about code.

Use this link on my sidebar for all your shopping needs and I will buy you a puppy

The point of this post (and I DO have one) is that I'm trying to come up with creative ideas to pay for college and I need your help. If you are going to college, know someone going to college or have a child going to college, you'll know that text books are expensive, yo! Amiright? Last year my girlfriend Hopalong Lisa (an amazing college student, full time worker and mother of 6!) ordered all her college texts using my little Amazon link and in doing so, I received a percentage of that sale. Keep in mind, it wasn't enough to buy dinner for the family but it was enough to buy a Big Mac AND fries.

So if you are in the market for some college text books, a big screen TV or a Lamborghini, please consider using my Amazon.com link on the right side of this page to make your purchases. I would love you forever if you did.