It's Halloween and the Assbags are Out!

My friend Joy from Evil Joy (who really is NOT all that Evil) messaged me this morning on the Book de Face telling me that she was reading an article about this chick who is giving out candy to deserving skinny children this Halloween, and letters to those children whom she deems as obese.

Yes, you did read that correctly. She is taking it upon herself to rid the world of obese children, one letter at a time.

Don't believe me? See the news report and hear it from her own mouth here. I'm flabbergasted. And you know I don't get flabbergasted over just anything. Now, don't get me wrong. I totally believe that her motives are pure. She sees a generation of obese kids being raised, she wants to do something about it. How about giving out APPLES instead of candy, you stupid assbag?? There's a novel idea!! Clementines? Raisins? Yes, you'd be considered 'that house' on Halloween, but your house is less likely to be egged if you hand out fruit than it will if you hand out letters to kids telling them that, in YOUR opinion, they are obese, and therefore, deserve to be singled out and put down. Trust me, if my kid ever received a letter stating that, in someone else's opinion, she was obese, the author of said letter would be receiving a visit from me, my attitude, and my size 8 boot up her ass.

I really do understand where she's coming from, but I think the way she's going about it is beyond ridiculous. I think back to my days as an overweight child. My self-esteem was already in the toilet, and it was bad enough that I heard from my bullying peers that my ass was too big, my stomach was fat, etc. But to be handed a letter from a grown woman telling me almost exactly the same thing is crushing. You're obese and don't deserve candy. Your parents aren't doing enough to raise you to be healthy. All in HER opinion. How is she going to make the determination? Is her front porch secretly a scale? Will she have a BMI chart inside her front door? Who is SHE to judge who should and should not receive candy on Halloween?

 I'm sorry, this bitch is just asking to have a crowd of angry parents come knocking on her door. In my opinion, she deserves what's no doubt going to be showing up on her front porch.

If she thinks this is such a big problem, then she should hand out healthy snacks to EVERYONE who comes to her door tomorrow night for trick or treat. Set the standard for EVERY child, not just those who she deems overweight or obese.

Trick or Treat?

So just how old is too old to go trick or treating in your opinion? Last year 15 and 13 stayed home and handed out candy with me, and the year before we were in DC because hubby and I ran the Marine Corps Marathon which was on Halloween. So this year, I've got a 15 year old who wants to go trick or treating BUT it's for Unicef for the Key Club. 13 wants to go trick or treating with her best girl friend.

I've always had a dislike for older kids showing up on my doorstep with a flannel shirt, jeans and a pillow case. They come to the door and look at me. They don't say "Trick or Treat" or "Eat Shit" they just look at me as if to say "Well, bitch what are you waiting for? Gimme the candy." Honestly can't stand that. For crying out loud, at least TRY. Put on a mask, say something. But no. No costume, no plea for candy, and no "Thank you" when they do get candy. I won't allow either of my girls to ever do this. They were raised better. But when do you say enough is enough to your kids? Do I say 'no, you're too old' when all of their friends are showing up at my door? Granted, their friends ARE dressed in costume and most are respectful, but that makes me the grouchy old mom who won't let her kids go trick or treating.

What's a mother to do? What do YOU do? How old is too old, in your opinion?

As an aside (cuz you know I'm FULL of asides) a few years back we did Shep or Treat at Shepherd University here in town with 13's old Girl Scout troop and the kids went trick or treating in the dorms. Now, I'm not sure where they get the idea that college kids have enough money to buy treats to give out, but this one poor kid had given out all the candy he had bought and had resorted to handing out Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme cookies, and when he ran out of those, it was Ramen and Pop-Tarts for everyone. I believe we depleted his food budget for an entire semester.

Whatever you decide to do tonight, be safe, don't eat all your kids' candy, and Happy Halloween!

I got a rock.