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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!
Showing posts with label Chianti. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chianti. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Seriously? Labels needed on soda?

Warning: rant ahead. Proceed with caution. I just came across this link posted on Freakbook by my friend Sue and I'm just flabbergasted. (that's such a great word, isn't it?) It's a story from the Huffington Post  which states that this woman, Natasha Harris, 31 years old and mother to 8 (that's right I said EIGHT children) died from drinking 2 gallons of Coca-Cola every day. Oh and in addition to her 'Coke' habit she also smoked up to 30 cigarettes a day according to this article, also from HuffPo.

Now, the coroner in her case said that the beverage company needs to put warning labels on their product telling of the dangers of over-consumption. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous and the coroner should be slapped in the head with a stapler. Common sense, people. Get some!! What's next?? Are we such a fucked up idiotic society that we need labels telling us what common sense should tell us? Do we need warning labels for such obvious things like:

Stoves: warning, fire is hot, don't put your hand on the flame that you're using to cook your dinner. It will burn. It will hurt.

Ovens: warning, gas comes out of this device and if you stick your head inside, it might either cook you or poison you. Either way, it'll hurt.

Cars: warning, cars are big and heavy so if you see one coming, do NOT, under any circumstances, jump in front of it. It will hurt.

Doors: warning, if you shut this device with your finger in it, it will hurt. Don't be a dumbass.

Coffee makers: warning, pour the contents of the pot into a mug and then add some cream or milk. Drinking it right out of the pot will burn your mouth, because guess what, asshat: COFFEE'S HOT and it will hurt.

Zoos: warning, don't jump into the lion's/tiger's/bears cage because guess what? They are carnivores. If you don't know what it means, leave the zoo and go buy a dictionary. Otherwise, they will eat you for dinner with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Matches: warning, if you light this match and put it near your hair, you will burn your hair off. Wig companies will love you and your business, burn units will think you're an asshole. Either way, it will hurt.

Interstates: warning, there are lots of big, heavy cars and trucks on this thing, and therefore please do not decide to have a game of touch football with your drunken buddies because as stated up there in #3, cars are heavy, trucks are heavier. You WILL become roadkill and it WILL hurt.

Electrical outlets: warning, do not wet your finger and stick it in these little holes. You will end up getting fried and yes, that will hurt.

Baggies full of pot: warning, if you smoke this shit, you may get the overwhelming urge to eat countless bags of Doritos, dozens of Snickers bars and maybe 2 gallons of Coke. You'll get fat, and trying to squeeze into your size 16's will hurt. 

Are you seeing a pattern here? Where do we draw the line at warning labels? When does it become industry's job to teach you not to be an idiot? Do we have McDonald's put a label on every Happy Meal stating: "Warning, over-consumption may lead you to be a lazy fat ass so ask your mommy to take you out for a nice salad instead"?? Will Tastycakes boxes come with a label that says "Warning, if you eat this entire box in one sitting, your size 16's will no longer fit you"? The same could be said for Girl Scout cookies? Am I going to sue the little Girl Scouts for feeding my Thin Mint habit? Cuz those bitches are like crack to me. (Thin Mints, not Girl Scouts, you perverts).

When does it all end? When does common sense win out over ignorance? And whatever HAPPENED to common sense anyway?