Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Offense: Is it Taken or is it Given?

The internet: It's chock full of information. There is happiness and sadness. It can be a wonderful tool for keeping in touch, keeping in contact with family and friends. And it can be a source of anger and ire where arguments abound. The internet is not to be entered into lightly. A thick skin is a must.

Borrowed from FB Troublemakers. Or Rebel Circus. Hard to tell. Either way, I thank them.

Wow, that's pretty deep stuff for a sarcastic humor blogger, isn't it? Yes, yes it is. And I AM a sarcastic blogger. I rant, I curse, some would say I'm offensive at times. But am I? Do I offend or is it that things I say are taken to heart by sensitive people whose feelings are easily hurt?

It has not now nor has it ever been my intention to hurt anyone's feelings. But sometimes it happens. Sometimes I may say something to offend. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not. I have a tendency to speak first (okay, type first) and I don't actually THINK about whether what I say could be offensive to someone out there reading my stuff. It's part of my quick wit, I can't help it. But do I intend my words to be offensive? No, I don't. But are they? Yep, apparently, they are.

Take for example, a post made by my friends and fellow authors at the blog It's Really 10 Months. Before Easter, they posted something on their Facebook page about non-traditional Easter basket goodies. If you don't want the Easter Bunny to bring candy, what other items would you suggest. Me, in all my sarcastic wit, jokingly suggested:  "Crack, guns and some clean needles." 27 people 'liked' that comment. One simply posted "not funny" which I totally get. I'm not everyone's cup of cocoa. One person, however, took HUGE offense, replying:  "That's not funny, snarkfest. is that what you give out? Im happy im not related to you."  (HER typos, not mine. Everyone knows 'Snarkfest' is ALWAYS capitalized)

Seriously, people. It. Was. A. Joke. And for the record, I'm glad I'm not related to her either. Typos like that make me itchy. Did I set out to intentionally piss her off? Nope. Did she take offense? Yep. Was that my intention? Nope. Should I care that one person got a hair up her ass over a post I made? If I did, I'd then have to censor everything that came out of my mind. I don't want to have to do that.

Again, I borrowed this from Facebook. Don't sue me


I have another friend who wrote a post about how important it is for businesses to use correct grammar and punctuation. The post, 'Trust me -- it DOES matter..." was a very well-written piece but contained the term "Grammar Nazi". We joked about whether or not some overly sensitive folks would be offended by the term Grammar Nazi. I'm half Jewish on my Dad's side. Should I take offense to that term? No, because in MY opinion, there's nothing offensive about it.

But again, that's MY opinion. I'm entitled to that opinion. EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion, that's what makes America a great country. If we lose our right to an opinion, the terrorists win... or something like that.

My point is,  people are going to take offense to anything and everything. It's human nature. But do I set out to BE offensive? No. I don't GIVE offense. My friend Fiona, when discussing this issue, told me this: "Offense is taken, not given." And she's 1000% correct.

People like Howard Stern,  Lisa Lampanelli, Andrew Dice Clay and Daniel Tosh are not everyone's cup of tea. If you are offended by something that they say, then don't watch/listen/read. They speak, but not everyone is offended. Some are amused and entertained. But some don't enjoy dick jokes. Those people take offense. They TAKE OFFENSE. But does that mean that those comedians shouldn't say the things they say? NO, because we live in America, land of free speech. If you don't like something that you hear/see but it's not actually causing physical harm to anyone: change the channel.  It's simple really.

I'm going to end with this: I've used the term 'fucktard' a lot. It is NOT a term I use to mock those with Downs Syndrome. It has NOTHING to do with Downs Syndrome. It has everything to do with people being complete and total assholes on a lower than low scale. Some may find it offensive. I can't help that. But my friend who has a son with Downs Syndrome laughs her ass off when I use that term. I've used it to describe her pig scumbag of an ex-husband (actually, comparing her ex-husband to a pig is probably offensive to pigs. Sorry, pigs). So I'm using her, one of my best friends, as a gauge. If she, a mother of a son with Downs Syndrome, takes no offense to my using that term, that's good enough for me. If others take offense to the term, that's not on me. I'm not GIVING it, they are taking it.

If you have stuck with me through this post and will continue to enjoy my stuff, then I thank you. If you have read this blog post and have taken offense to any part of it, then I suggest you and I part ways, because if I censor myself to avoid anyone taking offense, then I am not being true to myself. I don't lie, it's not who I am.

If you have enjoyed my writing, but don't like this particular post, come back tomorrow, when I may have something completely unoffensive to say. That's the beauty of the internet.

42 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I know how sensitive you are, Toby. Now get your head out of your ass. We miss you.

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  2. It's great seeing that your Snarky self still has a soft side to it!!! But then again, we all love the Snarkieness that you have shown!! 😊

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  3. There are times I would like to GIVE offense, actually. I am so sick of people taking offense where none was intended -- at least give me the opportunity to piss you off ON PURPOSE.

    (Thanks for spreading the love about my LinkedIn piece, though. *grin* You know you rock out loud!)

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  4. I'm going to share this with my mother-in-law. I had to delete her from my FB page because she was SO literal and totally did not get my humor. Then, when I started a new blog, I never told her its new address. I know it kills her not to know because she's the person in your second meme above--except I think she's only waiting to have a reason to be offended by ME. She wants to read it because she wants reasons to dislike me. So when she asked me a couple of weeks ago if I'm still blogging, I said, "Nope." She goes, "I'll bet you are," and I said, "What I meant by 'nope' is of course I am, but you'll never know where." Ahhh, feel the love. :)

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    1. I am not responsible for you being written out of the will, Shay. Just sayin'.

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  5. A friend of mine posted a picture of their baby NOT happy with the food they were eating and my comment was, "but mom, I wanted ribs and beer!" Fortunately all in good fun. People have to know the difference between snarktastic humor and dropping your kid in the cheetah pit. Just sayin.

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    1. I love that response!! And you know, cheetah's gotta eat too.

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  6. Preach it, sista! Society has become sooooo sensitive to everything that is said nowadays, that our freedom of speech is becoming a thing of the past. If we don't censor ourselves, we're quickly judged for our opinions. Sadly, too many people out there cannot take a joke, either. They take everything too personally, as if the words are about THEM. I'm super careful about what I say---I even avoid the F bomb, yet I STILL get criticism about many of the things I write. Even on FB, I lose followers if I have a funny meme up about impotent men or bitchy, PMSing ladies, etc. I've learned the hard way that I cannot please everyone all of the time, so I might as well say what I want. It's my blog, after all. If they don't like it, they can fuck off. There---I said the F bomb. Great post, Teri!!

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    1. Thanks Marcia!! I love that you speak your mind and I love your memes, your blog and YOU!!!

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  7. Love the post, Teri! Couldn't agree more!

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  8. Love it! I'm also friends with the fucktard's ex-wife. We consistently laugh and use the term in our discussions of said a-hole. I'm sure you offended some actual pigs with your comments, but luckily they haven't figured out how to rig their hooves with a device to help them type! :-)

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    1. Our mutual friend's ex-husband is a lower life form than amoebas on fleas on pigs.

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  9. Amen and hallelujah! Oh wait, that will be offensive to religious people AND atheists.

    Oh well. Great post, Snarkfest!!!

    Sheila1968 (who is only anonymous because she doesn't have the other links and/or URL thingies set up)

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    1. Thanks so much for reading, Sheila!! Hope you are well!

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  10. You know, dictionary.com has a definition of nazi that is not specific to (although obviously derived from) members of Hitler's party but defined as "a person who is fanatically dedicated to or seeks to regulate a specified activity." YUP. A nazi. I'm down with it, and not offended. I use it frequently to define such people--including myself.

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  11. You're awesome, you crazy nazi!!! :)

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  12. I was born in Germany, my Father was in the British Army and we just so happened to be in Germany when I was born, call me a Nazi I don't give a shit. I stopped giving a shit about useless bullshit when I was diagnosed as Terminally ill in 2007, when my kids were 4&7. I vowed I would make it to 42 without dialysis, well I'm 42 at the end of May, my girls are 12&16 this year and thanks to my miracle trial drug I'm incurable, I'm still going to die but (Please God) when I grow up I'll be an old lady, and I still don't give a crap if anyone doesn't like me or is offended by what I say. I care about seeing my children grow up, I care about traveling with the Hubstef when the girls have left the nest. I care about my Mother, I care that 11 years ago my father died and then 16 WEEKS later my oldest sister died. Neither death was expected, and I care about my other sister and her family. I'm also a very vocal advocate of Children's Cancer. Other than that why should I care someone gets butt hurt about what I say? Life's too short, why waste it on useless crap.

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    1. Personally, I'm glad you're still here with us and that you're fighting!! You're so right! Life is too short!

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  13. Frankly, I'm outright disgusted you would use a word like 'fucktard'. Seriously, you'd never catch me using a word like that. Jesus fucking Christ.


    PS. Lol! Whoever posted that reply to your comment on Facebook was obviously a Fucktard themselves. Great post Teri =)

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    1. Thanks Jamie. And I'm sorry if I offended you with my overuse of fucktard. I know how offended you are by that word.

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  14. You know, people that often get offended have the least reasons to be offended and some get offended on account of someone who is NOT offended and think they are.... or something like that.
    My blog is full of bad words, stupid things said and done and making fun of me and other people... mostly other people and I really do not give one rat's if anyone gets offended or not. Clearly, like you mentioned, i also don't post with the intend to offend, but of someone does for the stupidest of reasons, it gives me even more ammunition to prepare another post directed towards them. The more shit you can stir, the merrier. Obviously you don't do it with any malicious intent.

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    Replies
    1. No malicious intent, just some superly sensitive folks, Pork Star. Going to check out your blog now!

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  15. Love it. Yet no mention of the Jamberry Nazis?!? ;)

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    Replies
    1. I can only piss off so many people at once!!

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  16. I take offense at people pissing all over my freedom of speech by being overly offended at me speaking my mind. Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck. ;)

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  17. The fact that she didn't put an apostrophe between the I and the m made me itchy too.
    People like that need to get off the Internet.
    They are ruining it for everyone.

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    Replies
    1. I know, right?? My eyes are still twitching!

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  18. I asked a fellow blogger recently if he ever held back his humor for fear of offending someone. He responded, "Nope. Just like the US does not negotiate with terrorists, I don't negotiate with assholes". Take that fucktards!

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  19. People are way too touchy. The Easter basket comment is clearly a joke, and I think it's hysterical. That's my sense of humor and I'm not everybody's cup of cocoa either. I come from Cleveland, where the motto is "Keep it Light". I had a lot of trouble keeping it light. I now live in Jersey. I can breathe easy. Most of the time. My husband, a group of his friends, and I were at an outdoor flea market recently where I saw a large vintage crock pot. Without skipping a beat, I blurted out "You could fit a baby in there." These guys looked at me like I was Hitler. Is it okay to say Hitler here? Of course it is. People need to lighten the F up. We live in a world full of seriously disturbing shit. Irreverence takes the edge off. And typos? Don't get me started. I'm the biggest Grammar Nazi. Heil.

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  20. I think some people enjoy being offended. So you're providing a service. Keep it snarky!

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    1. I should be getting paid for this gig.

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  21. I couldn't agree more with your post and I'm so thankful to you because in truth I've been paralysed with my writing the last few months as I constantly fear offending people with my words. How could anyone be stupid enough to think you actually give out those items for Easter?! I see some hilarious comments from people who just don't get the nature of blogging and actually think we are being serious every time we publish a blog post. It never fails to amaze me.

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    1. It's scary to think that people don't have enough of a sense of humor that they'd actually believe I have clean needles just lying around ready to hand out as gifts. CLEARLY it's not Halloween yet!

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