I don't know why, but it really struck me. Maybe because FB is so full of people whining about shit. "Oh I'm so broke. My boyfriend's a douche. My wife is a cheater. My kids are assholes. I hate paying bills. My car is a piece of shit."
So much unpleasantness. Who is responsible for making your life pleasant? Do you rely on your husband/boyfriend/wife to make you happy? Well, if you do, and if you're unhappy still, YOU'RE the dumbass. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your happiness is solely reliant on someone else, you need to re-evaluate your life.
When you find yourself in a situation that is unpleasant, think about how you got there. Is your spouse lying or cheating on you? Why are you allowing it? Are your kids assholes? Why are you allowing it? Is your living situation not the best? MAKE the best of it. I know it sounds easy and I'm really good at talking the talk, but I'm also walking the walk.
I'm happy. I'm a happy person. Why? Because I don't rely on those around me to make me happy. I love my family, and I love my friends. And they are wonderful. If they weren't wonderful, I'd do something about it. If my husband was an assbag, I wouldn't be with him. If my friends weren't awesome, why would I have them as my friends? I hate drama. I avoid drama at ALL. EFFING. COST. If I find myself in a job that I hate, I look for something else, something that I DON'T hate. Something that DOESN'T bring me down or make me feel awful.
If there are people around me who are constantly bitching and kvetching about how awful things are, I try to distance myself, because who the hell needs that kind of negativity? I'm a firm believer that change comes from within. Nobody makes you who you are, only you have that power. And if you give that power to someone else, you have no right to bitch and complain about your situation, because you have allowed it to happen.
If you aren't happy, do something about it. Make the change. Take back that power. Don't just sit there and whine about it, DO SOMETHING. Because as Hallmark as it sounds, you ARE responsible for your own happiness.
Woo hoo! GO SNARKY!!! I love this post
ReplyDeleteThanks Jolie!
DeleteSo VERY true! Sadly it's so easy to play the pity-me card and whine and gripe over things. It takes work and effort to find your own happiness rather than take the lazy way out and rely on finding it in others. They're human; they're guaranteed to fail you. If you're unhappy or miserable because of your own efforts then you can only blame yourself - which hopefully will motivate you to put on your big-girl (or boy as the case may be) and panties, suck it up, and find your happiness (or make it!) Being positive might take more energy, but it's so worth it. It's like a work-out - no effort, no results! Thanks for another great post, Snarky!
ReplyDelete100% correct Mags, positive does take energy but much better than the alternative!
DeleteAMEN Sister! Hugs, Holly
ReplyDeleteHugs back to you, Sister!!!
DeleteAhhhh, easy words coming from people who don't suffer from depression. As someone who suffers from debilitating depression at times, telling me to put on my big girl panties and suck it up is not only insulting, can be life threatening. You have no idea what it's like to struggle to get out of bed every day for weeks on end. All you want to do is just not exist.
ReplyDeleteDo not judge these people who open their lives to social media and are honest about how they feel. Just because their lives aren't perfect doesn't give any of us the right to tell them their lives are worse than hours. It's the one's that are silent that you need to worry about.....or even worse....the ones who SAY they're happy until something really bad happens..... Sometimes life knocks people down a bit, be kind to them because what your post is doing is the same as what they are doing....complaining.
I'm sorry if I offended you with my response - it was not intended at all. I was not referring to mental illness at all - and I don't think Snarky was either. There's a big difference between those who can't find happiness due to depression or other mental challenges and those who have none of those issues and choose not to. That's what I read in Snarky's blog and that's what I was commenting on.
DeleteC White, I'm not discussing those who suffer from depression in this post at all. I'm discussing people who rely on others for their happiness. I'm not comparing oranges to apples. My point IS NOT that EVERYONE who isn't happy should suck it up. I'm suggesting that those who CAN lead a normal, healthy, happy life and choose instead to piss and moan about their lives because they can't get over themselves and must rely on others to steer their mood have no right to complain about their lack of happiness. That it is up the THOSE folks to control their happiness. Please don't put words in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteLOVE ,love love this!!!! And I agree with you 100%!!!
ReplyDeletexooxNina
Thanks Nina!! <3
DeleteI really want to send this to my mom. But that might end up the cause of some unhappiness--on both our parts.
ReplyDeleteSo so true! The times in my life that I was leaning on others to make me happy ended up in such sadness. Being in a good personal place is so important!
ReplyDeleteBig love from the Just Mildly Medicated gal!
I love it Teri! I was talking to someone after class about this yesterday. I told her exactly those words. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Ineabelle
You couldn't be more right. So many expect everyone else to make them happy and provide their "good feeling."
ReplyDeleteI have enough on making MY OWN happy and MY OWN good feeling.
You're right on the money, sister. Right on it.
A-MEN! (nothing irritates me more than when people take to social media to air their dirty laundry or complaints about...everything).
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have said this better myself. I actually did a similar post a couple of months ago. Eliminate the bad, grow the good!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you 100%. If people spent as much time creating their own happiness as they do complaining about their current circumstances, the world would be full of happy people!!! Everybody has a struggle; it's how you handle it that matters.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with the #SHINEbloghop (from a fellow BlogU alumni!)