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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Why I hate technology...

Ever have one of those days where you could just pull out your hair in clumps, scream and throw things? Yeah, that's me today.

In addition to the remote possibility that not one but BOTH of my girls may or may not have missed the bus (I'm in a shitty mood, you decide which), today was my day to submit my final weigh-in for the Diet-Bet in which I've been participating. If you don't know what that is, read this. Now keep this in mind. I've been doing REALLY well with this thing, and as of yesterday, I was within .2 lbs of my goal to be a winner in the bet. There's like, $640 in the pot and everyone who loses 4% of their starting weight is a winner, so if half the folks don't reach their goal...cha-ching!!! Mama gets a new Clinique eyeliner!!!

But I digress (as I normally do). So I ate well yesterday, went for a 2 mile run in 25356423% humidity last night, hydrated my ass off and had no crappy snacks. Got on my digital scale this morning and it said I had gained 4 lbs. So I shot it. (no, not really)

Then I moved the scale and it said I had lost 2 of those 4 lbs. When I repositioned the scale again I had not only reached my goal weight but had lost an additional .2lbs. YAY!!!! So I snapped a pic of the number with my keyword written on a piece of paper (that's how they keep you honest, didn't you read the link I posted?). Then I stood on my tub ledge and took a full body shot (you do this at the beginning and the end of the bet but all pics and weights are kept secret, no one in your group sees the pics or the weight unless you want it made public. And seriously, who wants THAT??)

Oh look, I digressed again.

Anyway, I took both pics from the phone, emailed them to myself WITH NO ISSUE. Got on the computer, downloaded both pics, submitted them and BAM! I'm a winner. Until I got my confirmation email that I WAS, indeed, a winner. Except the full body picture of me didn't look right. Upon closer inspection, I realized that I'm a dumbass and had submitted the original full body shot of myself. So now I look like an ass submitting the same picture as before AND after. Fucknut. So I emailed support and confessed my dumbass-edness to them and they emailed me back and pretended that I wasn't a dumbass (when I KNEW they knew I was) said that they'd decline my submission and I could submit again.

So I uploaded the REAL 'after' picture and resubmitted and BOOM! I'm a winner again. Except I wasn't. Because THIS time, it was declined because the full body shot of me wasn't one of me standing on the scale.

Image courtesy: Onlyinthecove.com

Now here's the issue. I don't have a full length mirror in my house. We HAD one but 16 slammed a door and it broke a few years back. So when I weighed IN, I had to stand on one of my dining room chairs, which is NOT an easy task because the chair seat isn't much bigger than the scale, so when I'm getting on the scale on the chair, it's not that easy, nor is it all that safe.  Oh, and here's another issue. I had not had anything to eat or drink before my weigh-in. and after I submitted the FIRST full body pic this morning, I had a cup of coffee. Keep that in mind, because it's important. (Digressing again)

Remember the first paragraph about me being in a shitty mood because the girls may or may not have made the bus? Yeah, well I drove 16 to school while drinking my cup of coffee. Then I came home and dragged the dining room chair upstairs, got my workout clothes on for the weigh-out, carefully got back up on the chair, then stood on the scale. And I had gained 6 lbs. Remember that cup of coffee?? Yeah, it WASN'T THAT HEAVY!!!  And remember when I mentioned that I have to move my scale around a bit before I find a good weight? And remember how small I said the seat on my dining room chair is? You can imagine my aggravation. Move the scale a centimeter to the left. BOOM, I lost 2 of those 6 lbs. Move it back a hair, BOOM, gained .5. Someone just shoot me. It probably would've been better had I just lost my balance and fallen, because that would've been MUCH less aggravating than playing 'Find My Real Weight' with a scale and a damned chair.

Eventually, the scale read correctly. So then I had my full body shot of me on the scale on the chair, and the shot of the weight. I quickly emailed both pictures to myself, hoping to get them uploaded and re-submitted before I left for work.

Easy as pie, right? If you answered yes, YOU'RE WRONG. I checked for 20 minutes and neither picture came through. Just like when you have a dial-up internet connection, my phone just kept telling me that the pictures were sending....... sending.......... sending.......... sending........

Are you feeling my pain yet??????

Image courtesy: edtatschsupport.com
Right now I'm so done with weights, bets, scales, dining room chairs.

Anyway, I got to work this morning, shut off my phone, turned it back on, resent the pictures, they came through, I uploaded them, my weigh-out was accepted and BOOM! I'm a winner!!! Now all I have to hope for is that the other 12 ladies failed miserably so that this will all have been worth it when I win $640. If not, I'll have to split that pot with the ladies that DID reach their goal.

So in conclusion, my day started off fairly shitty. It can only get better from here, right? And the good news is, I'm down 9.8 lbs from 1 month ago, so that's something.

11 comments:

  1. Hahaha! Totally been there. Our scale is broken because... kids... so now I just get mad at my jeans for being tight instead of the number on the scale. Hope you win it all!

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  2. I know that scale-moving game well....I play it every morning. If it's right, I've lost 41.8 pounds since the middle of January. I don't win any money though....If I had to stand on the scale on a chair to take my picture, either the camera or the chair would break!

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    1. Congrats, Eva!! That's fantastic!!!

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  3. My scale does that to me as well, frequently. 9.8lbs down is great! :) Maybe I would be more motivated if there was money involved. But after reading about your morning, I would have been so frustrated had that been me, that I would have eaten my way through a box of Cheez It's and no matter where I would have moved the scale, it wouldn't have mattered!

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    1. I was so darned determined to see that number back on the scale I couldn't even THINK of Cheez Its.

      Until now.

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  4. You bet your ass that's something! Good Lord, I'd pull out my front teeth to lose that. I've been saying for 4 months all I wanna lose is 10 lbs.

    I've lost 5 lbs in 4 months then as of yesterday, gained 2 back.

    WHAT. THE. F.

    But now you're thinner and richer. And let us know just how much richer when the other 12 report in!!

    Congrats and good luck!

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  5. I just stopped using the damned scale. I get my workouts in daily and try to watch what I eat, and if that's not enough, well, my love handles can just suck it. :)

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  6. Don't laugh. I have done this too with our scale. I know just where to place it to lose a pund or two. Just convince yourself it's just water weight and you'll pee it out! Boom - another pound lost.

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  7. 9.8 pounds is awesome. I don't have a scale. And I am not ever getting one, because I don't want to look at it. It's bad enough I have to look at it the doctor's office.

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