|Photo courtesy morguefile.com|
First, to the bitch who barreled out of the McDonalds parking lot this morning: you know who you are, you never slowed down, you never even THOUGHT about looking to see if there was anyone coming. There was. I had to slam on my brakes and my horn and you never even looked in your rear view mirror to see me screaming at you. I hope your Egg McMuffin wasn't cooked properly, and you get some awful stomach bug that makes you shit yourself when you sneeze.
To the boy at 14's school who is supposed to be her friend: remember when you threw her tampon all around the classroom thinking you were hilarious? Remember when her father and I confronted you about it? Remember how you claimed to be her friend and apologized to her and to us, knowing it was stupid and embarrassing to her, and remember how you promised that you'd look out for her in the future when anyone else picked on her? Well, douchenozzle, telling other boys not to mess with her because she'll run home and tell her daddy is NOT looking out for her. It's being an assbag. And if you ever come to my house again, I will point out to you EXACTLY how much of a fuckwit you are and in no uncertain terms, I will let you know that you are NEVER to show your face at my door again, I will NEVER offer you a ride anywhere when you are stranded and you will NEVER treat my daughter like you've been treating her lately. That's NOT how friends treat each other. I hope you eat some bad Chinese food and shit yourself in class when you sneeze.
To the fucktards at Morning Joe: I heard this morning that you made an off the cuff remark about the shooter at UCSB being "on the Aspergers scale, no big surprise" as if that's the reason he shot and killed all those innocent students. I hate your show, I hate what you said and I hope you get the same stomach ailment that the bitch from the McDonalds parking lot gets and that when you sneeze on your show tomorrow, you shit yourself on live TV.
Okay, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel much better now.