As a mother to 2 teenage girls, I hear a LOT of music in my house. A. LOT. Some of it's okay and some of it sucks, but for the most part, I don't mind it. Over the last few years we've listened to One Direction a bunch. Their music is fun and peppy (yes, I sound like I'm 90). For the most part, I like their stuff.
I remember telling both my girls back when One Direction released their movie that IMO Zayn probably had the best voice AND that if the band were to break up, it was my feeling that Zayn would be the first to leave. Apparently, I was right. Now Zayn has moved on and has released solo material. 16 played me the video for his new song the other day, and let's just say I wasn't impressed. (Let me also say that I'm not linking to it because I didn't like it enough to share it with you 4 or 5 folks who read me on the regular).
It became clear to me in the first few seconds of watching the video that One Direction had become too tame, too clean for Zayn Malik. Then I heard him drop the "F" bomb during the song. That was all I needed to hear. I walked away from the computer, shaking my head in disappointment.
Now you guys know me, I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, and I've dropped my fair share of "F" bombs. But I don't do it for shock value, or to piss people off or show how cool I am. I drop the effer when I'm pretty pissed about something and "darn" just won't do. And I am not afraid of music with cursing. Hell I LIKE Eminem because he is who he is. He started out with the mouth he continues to sing with. He didn't change to be someone else purely because he wanted to escape an image.
But Zayn's use of the "F" bomb was purely for attention. It is MY opinion (and remember, this is my blog so if you came here to read and you don't agree, you don't ever have to come back, my feelings won't be hurt), that Zayn is so glad to shake the clean boy-band image he had while a member of One Direction. He didn't want to sing the tame, safe lyrics any longer. He wanted to branch out on his own, be his own man, be true to himself and write from the heart. Or the crotch. Whatever.
The point is, he got what he wanted. He's officially shaken off the "Boy Band Member" label. No longer will moms look at him and think "what a clean cut, well-mannered boy". Well, not this mom anyway. Now I will look at him and think "I'm not buying concert tickets for my daughters to go and watch you sing songs about f*cking because you CAN, now that you're no longer in a Boy Band". It's really a shame, too, because he really DOES have a beautiful voice, and maybe one day he'll settle down and reign in those wild horny thoughts and go back to singing songs that aren't mean to shock. But for now, I'm saving my money to pay off the One Direction and Adele concert tickets from my credit card bills.
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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 24 and 21. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!
Showing posts with label Zayn Malik. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zayn Malik. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Buying One Direction
File this one under: HOLY CRAP, REALLY???
I'm scouring the Twitterverse for stuff regarding One Direction's horrible, terrible, really bad news yesterday that Zayn Malik has left the band. I'll give you all a moment to recover. Get yourself a Kleenex and clean the ugly cry off your face.
And I found this.
For those of you who don't care to click the link, let me make it simple for you. One Direction fans want to buy the band's contract from their management (who apparently, Directioners HATE). So far as of the writing of this great piece of literature, $602 has been raised to buy the boys out of their contract. The goal of this GoFundMe campaign? $877.7 million. Go ahead, take another moment. I'll wait.
I love teenage girls. I truly do. They can do anything they put their teenaged minds to. However, if I find out my kids have donated to buy One Direction out of their contract, I will flip my shit.
If you don't have a teenage daughter and really have no clue what's happening, here's the Snarknotes version (like Cliff's Notes without Cliff): Apparently Zayn wanted some downtime and his horrible bosses at the management company were all like: "No you'll tour, you'll spend months away from your loved ones, you'll make us gadjillions of dollars and you will like it!! MWAHAHAHAHA"
And Zayn was like, "Screw you, dudes, I wanna take a nap in my own bed" so he flew back to the UK and took an unauthorized nap. Next thing you know, the management company was all "You broke the rules, you're kicked out. You're not in the club anymore!" And then Zayn was all like: "Ok" because Zayn really likes napping in his own bed.
Then the world exploded.
I think it's awesome that the fans hate the band's management and wanna stick it to the man. I really admire their tenacity. And believe me, I honestly DO believe these kids may have a chance at reaching their goal. But then what? Let's say they reach $877.7 million. Will the management company really sell the contract? No. They won't.
But then there will be $877.7 million sitting in this GoFundMe account. So I'm going to come up with some ideas that they can use that money for:
1. Get Harry a haircut
2. Pay off my credit card bills and still have a few dollars to spare
3. Feed the poor and hungry
4. House the homeless
5. Buy my kid a car that does more than serve as a paperweight
6. Spay and neuter all the puppies and kitties in the world
7. Give it all to ME so I can move to Utah and marry Mike Rowe legally while still being married to my own husband.
Wait, that's not how polygamy works? DAMMIT!
Nevermind, this whole thing is silly.
I'm sorry that Zayn has left the band, no matter what the circumstances are, I do totally understand. Back when I was a teenager (when I rode my stegosaurus to school) and Duran Duran was the big band of the moment, their drummer Roger Taylor left the band to pursue peace and quiet (he went on to become a sheep farmer, out of the spotlight, much like Zayn wants to). I hope Zayn's not allergic to sheep.
I digress. Anyway, Roger Taylor left the band soon after their performance at Live Aid. John Taylor and Andy Taylor (NO THEY ARE NOT ALL RELATED) moved over to become Power Station with Robert Palmer (and some other guy whose name escapes me at the moment). It wasn't until 2005 that the whole band reunited. This little bit of information did NOT make my daughters feel any better last night when I explained it to them. "We have to wait 20 years for them to get back together???"
Anyway, if you have an extra $5 and want to be in band management, click the link up there. I think everyone who donates should get a private One Direction concert in their backyards. How cool would THAT be?
I'm scouring the Twitterverse for stuff regarding One Direction's horrible, terrible, really bad news yesterday that Zayn Malik has left the band. I'll give you all a moment to recover. Get yourself a Kleenex and clean the ugly cry off your face.
And I found this.
For those of you who don't care to click the link, let me make it simple for you. One Direction fans want to buy the band's contract from their management (who apparently, Directioners HATE). So far as of the writing of this great piece of literature, $602 has been raised to buy the boys out of their contract. The goal of this GoFundMe campaign? $877.7 million. Go ahead, take another moment. I'll wait.
I love teenage girls. I truly do. They can do anything they put their teenaged minds to. However, if I find out my kids have donated to buy One Direction out of their contract, I will flip my shit.
If you don't have a teenage daughter and really have no clue what's happening, here's the Snarknotes version (like Cliff's Notes without Cliff): Apparently Zayn wanted some downtime and his horrible bosses at the management company were all like: "No you'll tour, you'll spend months away from your loved ones, you'll make us gadjillions of dollars and you will like it!! MWAHAHAHAHA"
And Zayn was like, "Screw you, dudes, I wanna take a nap in my own bed" so he flew back to the UK and took an unauthorized nap. Next thing you know, the management company was all "You broke the rules, you're kicked out. You're not in the club anymore!" And then Zayn was all like: "Ok" because Zayn really likes napping in his own bed.
Then the world exploded.
I think it's awesome that the fans hate the band's management and wanna stick it to the man. I really admire their tenacity. And believe me, I honestly DO believe these kids may have a chance at reaching their goal. But then what? Let's say they reach $877.7 million. Will the management company really sell the contract? No. They won't.
But then there will be $877.7 million sitting in this GoFundMe account. So I'm going to come up with some ideas that they can use that money for:
1. Get Harry a haircut
2. Pay off my credit card bills and still have a few dollars to spare
3. Feed the poor and hungry
4. House the homeless
5. Buy my kid a car that does more than serve as a paperweight
6. Spay and neuter all the puppies and kitties in the world
7. Give it all to ME so I can move to Utah and marry Mike Rowe legally while still being married to my own husband.
Wait, that's not how polygamy works? DAMMIT!
Nevermind, this whole thing is silly.
I'm sorry that Zayn has left the band, no matter what the circumstances are, I do totally understand. Back when I was a teenager (when I rode my stegosaurus to school) and Duran Duran was the big band of the moment, their drummer Roger Taylor left the band to pursue peace and quiet (he went on to become a sheep farmer, out of the spotlight, much like Zayn wants to). I hope Zayn's not allergic to sheep.
I digress. Anyway, Roger Taylor left the band soon after their performance at Live Aid. John Taylor and Andy Taylor (NO THEY ARE NOT ALL RELATED) moved over to become Power Station with Robert Palmer (and some other guy whose name escapes me at the moment). It wasn't until 2005 that the whole band reunited. This little bit of information did NOT make my daughters feel any better last night when I explained it to them. "We have to wait 20 years for them to get back together???"
Anyway, if you have an extra $5 and want to be in band management, click the link up there. I think everyone who donates should get a private One Direction concert in their backyards. How cool would THAT be?
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