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Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Things I found on The Google...

The Google is weird. Or, more likely, people who search stuff using The Google are downright scary. Every so often I like to type in leading questions to see exactly what The Google will bring up. I start with something innocuous, like "How many times do..." and The Google will fill in with the most common questions that start that way. And let me tell you. People be SICK and shit. Seriously.



And what poor gassy soul felt the need to ask this question? Who knows, but at least he/she is not alone. Apparently it's a popular question on The Google.


This one confused me (shut up, I know it's not hard to do). What will you have? Hmmm how about this:

And for the love of Pete, why can't people learn these things on their own. This was almost a NICE search of The Google, until the hookers showed up:




I know that it's hard out here for a pimp, but when you're a new pimp, it must be extremely difficult to know proper hygiene etiquette, thus the need for this search:


Then when I finished doing all of the Googling for the day, I actually had to get directions to the school where 14 will be playing a volleyball game tonight. This is what I found:

Aside from the fact that the name of the school is spelled wrong, let's focus on the features of the ELEMENTARY school, shall we?? Are we talking a salad bar? A fixins bar? Or a full service gimme a shot of tequila hold the lime cuz I'm no sissy liquid bar???

8 comments:

  1. Oh come on. We all know it's you who are actually Googling all this weird stuff!

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    Replies
    1. Shhhhh, Phil, you weren't supposed to tell!

      Delete
  2. I totally need to start paying more attention to Google! I hope they are talking about a regular bar! A few drinks would certainly make the day more enjoyable!

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    Replies
    1. Oh heck yeah! Who wouldn't want to end the day at an Elementary School with a drink or 4?

      Delete
  3. HAHHAHAHA a full bar. Awesome.

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  4. Can you imagine? Those would be some tipsy kiddos!

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  5. I have always wanted to know why bird poop is white because they ear non-white food and of course I want to know if pimps fall in love!

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  6. Duh, full bar is for the staff. YOU try dealing with that many kids while sober; I'll have a breakfast margarita TYVM.

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