So the amazing, gorgeous and always funny Marcia at Menopausal Mother asked me to guest post on her blog. How could I say no? I LOVE Marcia! Her stories of her awesome family never fail to make me smile, so I wrote a little ditty about how great it was to watch the VMA's and learn some lessons from my daughters. Check out my guest post on Menopausal Mother now! Go on! Do it!
Also, I've been awarded the Versatile Blogger Award from the sexy, super Jen at Real Life Parenting. She's awesome and you should check her out. I'm going to post the required 7 facts about myself but I'm not going to pass the award on, because there are too many great blogs out there to choose from.
1. I eat cereal just about every morning. My fave is Corn Pops but I can't keep it in the house or I'll eat WAY too much of it. For breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2. My Dumbass cat sleeps on me every night. I always sleep on my side, and I usually wake up to her either on my hip or on my arm. Looking at me. Breathing on me. Freaking me out. Dumbass
3. I'm a band mom. I love my daughters' school bands. The instructors are amazing and my girls LOVE being in the band. It's win-win.
4. I miss letters. Writing letters, getting letters, I really miss those days when you'd go to the mailbox and find an envelope full of words and thoughts from a friend. Email is so impersonal. Those were the days.
5. Growing up, my big crushes were Shaun Cassidy, Scott Baio, John Stamos and Simon LeBon. Yes, Shaun Cassidy, shut up.
6. I'm doing a Tough Mudder in October. Yes, I'm insane.
7. I'm glad I don't have to come up with any other facts about myself.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Tap Dancing Tuesday (cats optional)
So I was doing a Google search this morning for 'tap dancing cats'. Why? You don't wanna know. But what I found wasn't tap dancing cats, it was 'Funny Cats in Water, Epic'. It is, indeed, 'epic'. Here's a little something to brighten up your Tuesday.
Video courtesy of YouTube
Ok wet kitties aside (no dirty jokes please) upon further investigation I found the 'World's Most Patient Cat'. I believe that as far as patient cats go, this one definitely corners the market. If this were my Dumbass, that dog would be bound and gagged in a dumpster somewhere.
Video courtesy of YouTube
And in a final clip, we see the hideous, deadly beast playing with his prey. What? Behind the bunny?
Yet another video courtesy of YouTube
Look at the bone structure! It's got teeth like this! Go on, insert your own Holy Grail quotes. I love them.
So that's it for today. No Tuesday Tirade, instead I opted to give you cute and fuzzy kitties and bunnies. You're welcome.
Ok wet kitties aside (no dirty jokes please) upon further investigation I found the 'World's Most Patient Cat'. I believe that as far as patient cats go, this one definitely corners the market. If this were my Dumbass, that dog would be bound and gagged in a dumpster somewhere.
And in a final clip, we see the hideous, deadly beast playing with his prey. What? Behind the bunny?
Yet another video courtesy of YouTube
Look at the bone structure! It's got teeth like this! Go on, insert your own Holy Grail quotes. I love them.
So that's it for today. No Tuesday Tirade, instead I opted to give you cute and fuzzy kitties and bunnies. You're welcome.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Losing my virginity.....
Have you ever received one of those texts from your child that's pretty much a loaded question? I received one yesterday at work from my 13 year old. It went something like this:
"Hey mom, wanna answer me a question?"
Panic sets in. Did I throw away her prized collection of dust bunnies? Was she upset because I may or may not have given her way too tight tees and shorts to Goodwill? I braced for it, and said "Sure what is it?"
Drumroll please........................
"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"
What? What the.....HUH?? Yikes. She's 13 and currently single. Why would she need to know that? Well, apparently, she was (self-confessed) creepin' through my blog. She stumbled upon this post, wherein I answer questions because I had won an award. More specifically, question #6, how old were you when you lost your virginity. Naturally I lied. Who knew my kids actually DO read my blog? I should (clean) start putting (your) subliminal messages (room) hidden in text. That (bake) maybe (me) could (cupcakes) work (now!!!!).
So since she asked me flat out, and I don't lie to my kids (Santa and Easter Bunny aside, shut up) I told her. I told her that I was 18 (which is the truth), that it was awful (which it was), not enjoyable at all. Not special in the least. And that I regretted it almost immediately. It was with the boy I went to my senior prom with. We dated off and on but were never 'exclusive'. He lived with his grandmother, who was half senile. We used to party in his basement, all of us, and we paired off when it came time for prom. We fooled around quite a bit but never went all the way, not even on prom night. But one summer night after I graduated high school, he asked, I did and it was less than nothing to write home about. I explained to 13 that I felt dirty, cheap and used after giving him my virginity. I told her that your first time should be special, and it should be with someone you love, and someone who loves you back. Mine was not. Then she asked why I did it. I told her that I really liked him (not love) and I thought he'd like me more if I did it (which he didn't). What I didn't tell her, was that right after we did it, his grandmother walked in on us. I was mortified, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I was not only embarrassed to be caught, but devastated that what was supposed to be one of the most special times of my life ended up being one of the worst nights of my life. Right after we got dressed, I asked him to drive me home. And I believe that was probably one of the last times I ever spoke to him.
At 13, she knows that she is nowhere near ready for that step, and wants to wait until she's married. I told her that as her mother, I know that she will make mistakes and that she will learn from them. But I also want her to learn from the mistakes I've made because I'd love to save her from making the same heartbreaking mistakes. And I told her that losing your virginity with someone you love who loves you back, doing it for the right reason, isn't a mistake. But my reasons were wrong, and I will always regret it. And do you know what she said in reply? My 13 year old daughter said this:
"Don't live with regrets, everything happens for a reason."
"Hey mom, wanna answer me a question?"
Panic sets in. Did I throw away her prized collection of dust bunnies? Was she upset because I may or may not have given her way too tight tees and shorts to Goodwill? I braced for it, and said "Sure what is it?"
Drumroll please........................
"How old were you when you lost your virginity?"
What? What the.....HUH?? Yikes. She's 13 and currently single. Why would she need to know that? Well, apparently, she was (self-confessed) creepin' through my blog. She stumbled upon this post, wherein I answer questions because I had won an award. More specifically, question #6, how old were you when you lost your virginity. Naturally I lied. Who knew my kids actually DO read my blog? I should (clean) start putting (your) subliminal messages (room) hidden in text. That (bake) maybe (me) could (cupcakes) work (now!!!!).
So since she asked me flat out, and I don't lie to my kids (Santa and Easter Bunny aside, shut up) I told her. I told her that I was 18 (which is the truth), that it was awful (which it was), not enjoyable at all. Not special in the least. And that I regretted it almost immediately. It was with the boy I went to my senior prom with. We dated off and on but were never 'exclusive'. He lived with his grandmother, who was half senile. We used to party in his basement, all of us, and we paired off when it came time for prom. We fooled around quite a bit but never went all the way, not even on prom night. But one summer night after I graduated high school, he asked, I did and it was less than nothing to write home about. I explained to 13 that I felt dirty, cheap and used after giving him my virginity. I told her that your first time should be special, and it should be with someone you love, and someone who loves you back. Mine was not. Then she asked why I did it. I told her that I really liked him (not love) and I thought he'd like me more if I did it (which he didn't). What I didn't tell her, was that right after we did it, his grandmother walked in on us. I was mortified, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I was not only embarrassed to be caught, but devastated that what was supposed to be one of the most special times of my life ended up being one of the worst nights of my life. Right after we got dressed, I asked him to drive me home. And I believe that was probably one of the last times I ever spoke to him.
At 13, she knows that she is nowhere near ready for that step, and wants to wait until she's married. I told her that as her mother, I know that she will make mistakes and that she will learn from them. But I also want her to learn from the mistakes I've made because I'd love to save her from making the same heartbreaking mistakes. And I told her that losing your virginity with someone you love who loves you back, doing it for the right reason, isn't a mistake. But my reasons were wrong, and I will always regret it. And do you know what she said in reply? My 13 year old daughter said this:
"Don't live with regrets, everything happens for a reason."
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Tuesday Tirade....Absolutely SENSELESS
I just read, with HORROR, the story of an Australian college student who was shot in the back last week and killed by 3 teens from Oklahoma who were 'bored'. I am absolutely sickened. The story can be found here on the CBS news website. Christopher Lane was 22, going into his senior year at East Central University and had his whole life ahead of him. Now he's dead. Dead at the hands of 3 teenagers ranging in age from 15-17. What the hell is wrong with people?? This guy just went out for a run. The teens saw him run by, jumped into a car, followed him, shot in him the back and left him for dead because they were bored.
One of the suspect's mothers told authorities that her son and his friends were in a 'wannabe gang'. Well I hope they are all tried as adults and are all thrown in jail for a very long time. They wanna be in a gang? I hope they get gang raped in prison for what they did to Christopher Lane. Maybe that's harsh, but not as harsh as the punishment they doled out to this innocent kid. What right did they have to take his life? Who gave them the right to decide who lives and who dies? It's sickening, it's disgusting. One of the suspects, the 17 year old, is quoted as saying 'we were bored, we didn't have anything to do so we decided to kill somebody." What kind of children are we raising in this country? What is happening in our society that something like this can happen? I'm completely at a loss to understand the thinking behind this cruel and tragic event. My heart aches for this boy's family and friends. So much to live for. So many things yet to happen in his life and he was taken away by 3 bored teens. Absolutely disgusting.
One of the suspect's mothers told authorities that her son and his friends were in a 'wannabe gang'. Well I hope they are all tried as adults and are all thrown in jail for a very long time. They wanna be in a gang? I hope they get gang raped in prison for what they did to Christopher Lane. Maybe that's harsh, but not as harsh as the punishment they doled out to this innocent kid. What right did they have to take his life? Who gave them the right to decide who lives and who dies? It's sickening, it's disgusting. One of the suspects, the 17 year old, is quoted as saying 'we were bored, we didn't have anything to do so we decided to kill somebody." What kind of children are we raising in this country? What is happening in our society that something like this can happen? I'm completely at a loss to understand the thinking behind this cruel and tragic event. My heart aches for this boy's family and friends. So much to live for. So many things yet to happen in his life and he was taken away by 3 bored teens. Absolutely disgusting.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
LeanMoms: The final post
About 9 weeks ago, I posted about starting a new program to lose weight and tone up. It's a wonderful program called LeanMoms.com. The first few weeks I was on it, I was full after my meals and did have a bunch of energy. But the true fact of the matter is this: I am a runner. Do I look like a runner in my 'before' pics? No, I do not. But I don't care. I'm a runner, and runners need carbs. The LeanMoms program is chock full of lean proteins, lean meats, protein shakes, egg whites, cottage cheese and spinach, but very few carbs. Lacy and Jill are absolutely WONDERFUL and tremendously helpful! When I posted on the LeanMoms Facebook Community page that I had just finished a 6 mile run, Lacy followed up my post with a concern about how the program is set up more for short spurts of cardio to go along with the weight training (it's called HIIT) and not really meant for longer distance running.
I totally respect that, and for some, this is a great plan. Unfortunately, for me, I was not getting enough carbs in my daily intake to fuel my body for running, and running is my thing. The weight training plan is PHENOMENAL and I would highly recommend this plan to anyone and everyone who is interested in losing weight via the high protein/low carb method. But it just didn't work for me. I am confessing right now that I slowly drifted away from the plan after about the 6th or 7th week and have been putting more carbs back in my diet and refueling my body for running. Have I lost a ton? No. But I am seeing a change in the way my clothes are fitting me, and for me, that's enough right now.
There will be more updates as I continue on my journey to see single digit sized clothing back on my body. For now, I want to thank Lacy Arnold and Jill Kaufusi from LeanMoms.com for being so generous in offering me the program for 12 weeks for free, for helping me out with the 852 questions I asked, for providing outstanding client service and for always being on top of things on their Facebook Community. This is not a plan to try to sell you a quick fix, it's a great plan with fantastic people behind it. And I thank them for the opportunity to try it.
I totally respect that, and for some, this is a great plan. Unfortunately, for me, I was not getting enough carbs in my daily intake to fuel my body for running, and running is my thing. The weight training plan is PHENOMENAL and I would highly recommend this plan to anyone and everyone who is interested in losing weight via the high protein/low carb method. But it just didn't work for me. I am confessing right now that I slowly drifted away from the plan after about the 6th or 7th week and have been putting more carbs back in my diet and refueling my body for running. Have I lost a ton? No. But I am seeing a change in the way my clothes are fitting me, and for me, that's enough right now.
There will be more updates as I continue on my journey to see single digit sized clothing back on my body. For now, I want to thank Lacy Arnold and Jill Kaufusi from LeanMoms.com for being so generous in offering me the program for 12 weeks for free, for helping me out with the 852 questions I asked, for providing outstanding client service and for always being on top of things on their Facebook Community. This is not a plan to try to sell you a quick fix, it's a great plan with fantastic people behind it. And I thank them for the opportunity to try it.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Tuesday Tirade, Weiner, Kutcher, Michelle & a movie edition
How on God's green Earth this assbag is still around is beyond me. For those of you living under a rock, Anthony Weiner, New York Congressman and all-around douchebag was caught with his pants down, literally, because he tweeted pics of his weiner to women and engaged in six different 'inappropriate relationships' over the course of 3 years. And now he's running for mayor of New York. What the hell?? Who in their right mind would elect this jackass?
First of all, I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of this guy even THINKING anyone would take him seriously after the big scandal he brought on himself by tweeting lewd pictures of himself to women who follwed him on Twitter back in 2011. Now, according to this report from Business Insider, he called one of his opponents 'Grandpa' at a debate put together by AARP. Pretty smooth, dumbass. Last week, in a Quinnipiac University poll, Weiner dropped to 4th place (out of a possible 4, ouch, that's gotta hurt) and what was his response? According to the AP, his response was: "Polls don't change anything."
Well, polls may not change anything but sending pictures of your own 'pole' is pretty nasty, especially when you have a wife, a baby and you're a Congressman, you stupid twit. If you got caught in 2011, said you were sorry, resigned and did the same damn thing AGAIN as recent as April of this year using the name Carlos Danger, you deserve to have your ass kicked in the polls, in the streets, in your house, gosh there's really NO PLACE I can think of where you DON'T deserve to have your ass kicked.
So that's my take on Anthony Weiner. I'll give him no more ink.
How about Ashton 'call me Chris' Kutcher's commencement speech at the Teen Choice Awards Sunday night? After thousands of girls screamed at the boys from One Direction (sorry 15 and 13, you weren't home in time to watch but I saw it and it was wonderful) whose average age is like, 20, the hosts introduced a guy who looked like a cross between Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan, who then presented Ashton Kutcher with the 'old guy award' which I think is comparable to the Oscars Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement award, but don't quote me. Ashton then got up on stage, revealed that his real name is Chris (so?) and then proceeded to give the equivalent of a college commencement speech to the thousands of screaming girls, some of which screamed "Take it off!!!" as he was imparting words of wisdom. Nice idea, Ash....Chris, but maybe next time, save it for the graduates. I think your wisdom was lost on the chicks who just wanted to see your bare chest.
Also of note for that show was the really sweet and very emotional acceptance speech from Lea Michelle who won for TV Actress in a Comedy. It was her first appearance since the death of her former Glee castmate and boyfriend Cory Monteith. Even I was moved, and I'm pretty hardass about stuff like that (totally lying, I'm a flipping marshmallow who cries while watching A Baby Story).
And I'm going to leave you Snarklings with a movie recommendation. Early in the summer, we started streaming Netflix, and one of my husband's favorite genres of film is B horror movies. He could watch I Spit on Your Grave til the cows come home. So he's been watching these movies and came across one that gave him pause. I'm not sure why it was in the B horror genre, because it was hilarious. The movie is called Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. I swear to God we laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. It stars Tyler Labine as Dale and Alan Tudyk (Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball) as Tucker. If you have a chance, rent it, stream it, watch it and come back and tell me you didn't nearly pee your pants watching it.
Until next time, Snarklings, have an awesome Tuesday!
First of all, I just can't wrap my brain around the idea of this guy even THINKING anyone would take him seriously after the big scandal he brought on himself by tweeting lewd pictures of himself to women who follwed him on Twitter back in 2011. Now, according to this report from Business Insider, he called one of his opponents 'Grandpa' at a debate put together by AARP. Pretty smooth, dumbass. Last week, in a Quinnipiac University poll, Weiner dropped to 4th place (out of a possible 4, ouch, that's gotta hurt) and what was his response? According to the AP, his response was: "Polls don't change anything."
Well, polls may not change anything but sending pictures of your own 'pole' is pretty nasty, especially when you have a wife, a baby and you're a Congressman, you stupid twit. If you got caught in 2011, said you were sorry, resigned and did the same damn thing AGAIN as recent as April of this year using the name Carlos Danger, you deserve to have your ass kicked in the polls, in the streets, in your house, gosh there's really NO PLACE I can think of where you DON'T deserve to have your ass kicked.
So that's my take on Anthony Weiner. I'll give him no more ink.
How about Ashton 'call me Chris' Kutcher's commencement speech at the Teen Choice Awards Sunday night? After thousands of girls screamed at the boys from One Direction (sorry 15 and 13, you weren't home in time to watch but I saw it and it was wonderful) whose average age is like, 20, the hosts introduced a guy who looked like a cross between Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan, who then presented Ashton Kutcher with the 'old guy award' which I think is comparable to the Oscars Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement award, but don't quote me. Ashton then got up on stage, revealed that his real name is Chris (so?) and then proceeded to give the equivalent of a college commencement speech to the thousands of screaming girls, some of which screamed "Take it off!!!" as he was imparting words of wisdom. Nice idea, Ash....Chris, but maybe next time, save it for the graduates. I think your wisdom was lost on the chicks who just wanted to see your bare chest.
Also of note for that show was the really sweet and very emotional acceptance speech from Lea Michelle who won for TV Actress in a Comedy. It was her first appearance since the death of her former Glee castmate and boyfriend Cory Monteith. Even I was moved, and I'm pretty hardass about stuff like that (totally lying, I'm a flipping marshmallow who cries while watching A Baby Story).
And I'm going to leave you Snarklings with a movie recommendation. Early in the summer, we started streaming Netflix, and one of my husband's favorite genres of film is B horror movies. He could watch I Spit on Your Grave til the cows come home. So he's been watching these movies and came across one that gave him pause. I'm not sure why it was in the B horror genre, because it was hilarious. The movie is called Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. I swear to God we laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. It stars Tyler Labine as Dale and Alan Tudyk (Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball) as Tucker. If you have a chance, rent it, stream it, watch it and come back and tell me you didn't nearly pee your pants watching it.
Until next time, Snarklings, have an awesome Tuesday!
Monday, August 12, 2013
Customer service, it's key!!
Who's got a post over at The Epistolarians today? Guess! Did you guess ME? Then you'd be right. I've worked in customer service all of my life and I've seen things that would make you laugh, cry, cringe, scream, yell, whisper and have witness jaw dropping acts, both good and bad. Wanna know more? Have a look.
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