Blog Tag (or why I hate Dumbass News)

I don't really hate Toby, the Fearless Leader of Real Dumbass News but he tagged me in this shit and I either have to comply or become a Republican, so I really have no choice. So here goes. The deal is, I have to answer 11 questions he pulled out of his ass came up with, then tag some other hapless victims bloggers to participate. If they choose not to join in this stupid fun thing, I get to mock and ridicule them relentlessly until they quit the internet and become fishermen on the vast Bering Sea. I also have to post rules because rules.

1. Post these rules. (check)

2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you. (eleven? Really?)
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.

Me. At a Duran Duran show in CT. Don't ask about the horns.

Here are 11 random facts about me because you care. Shut up, I know you do.
1.  My brother Billy is a firefighter whom I idolize.
2.  My cat, also named Dumbass, just celebrated her 13th birthday. We didn't sing to her.
3.  She's pissed that we didn't sing to her (random fact about Dumbass, not really about me)
4.  I've struggled with my weight all my life. Running is the only thing that takes it off and keeps it off. I don't run enough.
5.  I hate posting random facts about myself. I'm not really all that interesting.
6.  I have a small crush on Drew Carey. I don't know why, he's not all that attractive but he's funny as hell.
7.  I'm having a hard time coming up with more random facts about me.
8.  I hated science and math in school. To this day I still hate math and science.
9.  I have a bunion on each foot. I had one surgically removed in high school. It came back. Bastard.
10. Seriously? I still have one more to make up? Shit.
11. I won the Nobel Prize for Snark in 1986.

Now for the 11 questions Toby came up with for me:
1.  Baseball or Football? 
          Baseball, what kind of no-brainer question is that? 
2.  Place you'd like to live other than where you live right now?
          If it wasn't so goddamn expensive I'd live in Hawaii. But it is. Florida has too many bugs. I'll 
          go with Hawaii, assuming I win the lottery (if I ever played the lottery). Yeah. Hawaii.
3.  Are you a nose picker?
          What the hell kind of question is that? Seriously, Redneck? Nothing more original? Like do I
          pick wedgies out of my butt in public? Come on, you can do better than that. 
4.  Would you rather be in politics or have a nasty case of the flu for 2 years?
          FLU all the way baby. Politics will kill you.
5.  Taco Bell or McDonalds?
          Taco Bell AND McDonalds will ALSO kill you, probably faster than politics. Going with Panera
6.  Would you rather spend summer in Texas or winter in Northern Canada?
          Did you know that I'm allergic to Canadian geese, mooses (meese?) and Molsen? I'mma have
          to go with Texas because two of my very good friends recently moved there and they have A/C
7.  If you could go back in time, what would you change about your life?
          Probably would've deleted the email from Toby and not had to complete this stupid activity
8.  If you could write a new law, what would it be?
          I'd create a law that ALL child sex offenders would have their genitals, hands and feet 
          removed and they'd be required to be lobotomized so they'd be drooling vegetables with 
          stumps.
9.  Kids or pets?
          You are completely out of ideas, aren't you Toby? I have both. Too late to go back and 
          make those decisions over again. Besides, I like them both. (both the dogs AND the kids).
10. Weirdest clothes you've ever worn?
          I once dressed as a pregnant nun for a Halloween party my old roommate and I threw. I'm
          surprised I wasn't struck by lightning that night. Pregnant nun drinking booze. SCANDALOUS!
11. Would you go streaking at a public event for $10,000?
          Trust me, people would pay me $10,000 to put my damn clothes back on. I'mma say NO.

And now for the 11 questions I'm pulling out of my ass making up for the next bloggers to answer:
1.  How do you feel about Toby from Real Dumbass News? He's a dipshit, right?
2.  How often do you change the sheets on your bed?
3.  What are your top 5 favorite blogs to read? (answer this carefully.......) :)
4.  Why did you decide to start blogging?
5.  If you could capture the attention of ANYONE in the world with your blog, who would it be?
6.  If you could sit down and have a cup of coffee/tea/booze with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?
7.  George Clooney or Brad Pitt?
8.  Who is the most famous person you've ever actually met and did you act like a complete moron 
      meeting them or were you completely cool and composed? (liar)
9.   Who is your girl crush?
10. What's the very first thing you'd buy if you hit the lottery and won $57 million?
11. What's MOST favorite word and your LEAST favorite word in all of the English language?

Alright, now it's my turn to piss off 4 of my very favorite bloggers who will end up hating me and making up random shit about me on The Google: The Pursuit of Normal, Big Top Family, Foxy Wine Pocket and Comfytown Chronicles, TAG!!! You're it!!