So the deal is, you list 7 facts about yourself and then nominate other bloggers for the award. And in true Snarkfest fashion, I'm breaking the rules. Sure I'll list my 7 facts, but then I'm going to just give you a list of some amazing and funny writers, all of whom will be collaborating in our upcoming book, I Just Want To Pee Alone which will be released sometime within the next month!!
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| This is the cover of our book!! Look, see my name?!? |
- My mom doesn't know that I'm a blogger. I have never told her about it. Not that I'm embarrassed by it or ashamed, but I'm not sure she'd be in love with the idea that I drop the F bomb so casually and on such a regular basis, so if you see her, please don't tell her about my blog, okay? Thanks.
- I've never made brussel sprouts, liver, lima beans or squash for my family. Not that I don't love my family and want them to be healthy, but that shit tastes like llama-ass and I don't like me no llama-ass. Alright, if I'm being honest, it's not that I don't actually LIKE squash, but I just don't know what to do with it, how to cook it or anything, so yeah. That's my story. I'm an incompetent squash cooker.
- I'm a complete slob. My house is a cluttered mess. I'm not talking Hoarders-worthy, but it's pretty cluttered. Again, please don't tell my mom.
- There are times when I like my dogs way more than I like 15 & 13. Don't tell them I said this, but Henry and Cosmo listen to me way more than 15 & 13 do which naturally means I would rather have dogs than kids sometimes. However, Henry and Cosmo pretty much suck at volleyball and trumpet and that's when I'm glad that I also have kids, because my kids DO excel at those activities. It's a nice, well-balanced relationship here in my house. But again, don't tell the kids, okay?
- I know that Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones dinners are way high in sodium and probably (okay totally) not that good for you, but when I'm trying to lose weight and am super busy (like every day) they are so much easier, so much more convenient for me to just grab, eat and go. So don't tell my doctor that I eat those relatively often, okay?
- My dad died of a heart attack in August of 2010 and that October, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, DC and raised $1800 for the American Heart Association. It was my first marathon.
- I used to be meticulous in balancing my checkbook. I used Quicken, balanced it to the penny every month and would freak out if it was off, I'd investigate that shit like Morgan and Hotch until I found the mistake. Then I gave birth. Now I'm lucky if I even open the bank statement when it comes in each month. And if I open it, odds are, I never actually REMOVE the statement from the envelope.
Okay it seems as though I've trusted you people with a LOT of personal information about myself. If my mom calls me and questions me about my blog, I'm coming to find whichever one of you ratted me out. Until that happens, here is my list of inspiring bloggers. You don't have to go visit them all, you don't even have to click a single link if you don't want to. But if you don't, you'll be missing out on some seriously funny shit. Here are the ladies who will be joining me in the book I Just Want To Pee Alone:
Woot! Congrats to you on so much good news, and on not telling your mom about your blog. I told mine, and it's been nothing but a huge mistake.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout! :)
I'm happy to share everyone on the list, Robyn! And yeah, that's a big reason I didn't tell mom. Not that she'd ever see it, because the woman has a paralyzing fear of computers, but ya never know.
DeleteMy Mom reads mine, but I wonder how different the blog would be if she didn't! :) Thanks for linking us up!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure, Amy!
DeleteTHANKS LADY!! My mom knows about my blog, but my MIL just now found out-- now that I have a book I figured she can deal with a few F-bombs!
ReplyDeleteIf she's got a problem, oh fucking well, right? ;)
DeleteThank you! I'm in awe of your #6--that is so amazing! Go you! And I'm completely with you on #5, just don't tell my doctor either...
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, Mer, your secret is safe with me! No one reads this stuff anyway. ;)
DeleteThanks so much!!!
ReplyDeleteNone of my friends or family follow my blog. They've all asked, but I refuse to give up the name of it because then I'd need to write with a filter, and I don't know how to do that. :)
Admittedly, I've left all financial stuff to The Hubs since we got married. He's just better at that crap than me!!!
I'm starting to think I should've kept this whole blog thing under my hat. And when we got married, my hubby was THRILLED that I took over all the financial crap.
DeleteMy mother prints out every post. I told her that's overkill. I'm right there with you on #3, 4 and 7. BTW my 7yo says Fbombs just as much as me (thankfully only once at school).
ReplyDeleteWow she must be REALLY proud of you! :)
DeleteMy mom (a) doesn't know I have a blog, (b) doesn't know what a blog is anyway and (c) can only use the computer to play solitaire, so (a) and (b) don't even matter. #2 and #3 - check. #4 - replace dogs with cats and trumpet with cello. #5 - I eat crap, just less of it when I need to drop a few pounds. #6 - you got me, there. #7 - that's what overdraft protection is for!
ReplyDeleteCats and cello! Sounds like an awesome new band! :)
DeleteYou must send me pictures of your messy house! :) Thanks for the shout out!!
ReplyDeleteFor the low low price of $50 plus shipping and handling, I'll gladly send you pics of what may or may not be my house, Anna.
DeleteThanks for the shout-out & congrats on the award!
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure, Kim! And thanks. ;)
DeleteCongratulations! Well-deserved!
ReplyDeleteThanks Eva!!
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ReplyDeleteThank you for the mention! My parents know that I blog but they don't read it because "Bob Barker doesn't have a computer or a cell phone", so why should they?
ReplyDeleteOf course I told them that Bob Barker is 176 years old and maybe they could pick a more relevant person as a role model.
Is Bob even still kicking?
Anyhoo, I'm stoked to be listed with this amazing group of writers! We should all meet up and party like it's 1986! I think I can rustle up some 8 tracks and a poster of Kirk Cameron...
Last I checked he was, hope you didn't just kill him, Johi! And my mother doesn't own a computer so she's just as happy as your parents. :)
DeleteWOOT! Thanks for the shout out! I really do just want to pee alone!
ReplyDeleteAWWW, you rock the free world!! Thank you!! :) We are totally excited about the book and love the fact that all of us are sharing the funny together!!
ReplyDeleteI know, I love that we're all doing the big pimpin'!
DeleteWow, I think if mom DID know I had a blog and DIDN'T read it, I might take offense. ;)
ReplyDeleteYES!!! You rocked this and dammit if I didn't feel like I was looking in the mirror when I read it! Hell's bells woman--had no idea we had so much in common--except the Mom thing--unfortunately, my mother DOES read my blog--faithfully, which is why you only see me dropping the F bomb on everyone ELSE'S site except my own!!!! So don't worry--your secret is safe with me!
ReplyDeleteThanks Marcia!! I appreciate your keeping that under your hat!
DeleteVery few personal friends and family know I blog> My ex does, only because he stalked me and found it, wish he didn't would love to bash him. Not sure why my mom doesn't know, she would freak and don't want to deal with that.
ReplyDeleteCan't say that I blame you, Jules!
DeleteThis is the BEST! I was petrified to let me mother read my book! I hated that I used the "F" word in it but there were some things that could not be said without it!I was still scared! I was even more terrified than petrified of the fact that I mentioned a blow job (only saving grace it wasn't me giving it) that would have been the end! I don't open my bank statements either and the only way I know if I have enough for groceries is to call my 800 # to the bank balance as I'm running into the store! This is important information when considering how many bottles of wine I can grab! My dad still doesn't know I've ever had sex despite the fact that I'm married with 2 kids! HAHAHA (boy I have him fooled)I tell my family all the time that I love my basset hound LEO the best! I do have to say though, I can cook amazing squash! ;) AND one more thing, Thank you a million times over for supporting my book and having it on your page! You are the best!
ReplyDeleteI do promise that there WILL be a book review as soon as I have more than 3 minutes at a time to sit and try to finish it. Your kids may be in college but I swear, as God as my witness, I'll finish it!
DeleteSo on 5 out of 7, we are like twinsies!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your list...and I am so excited to read the book too!
I knew I liked you a bunch, Katie!!
DeleteTeri, I just linked this post up for my blog tomorrow (because you did all the legwork listing the blogs and I'm lazy today) but I re-read your list and can't believe that I somehow skipped #2 and #5 the first time around. I love squash, but I, too, have absolutely no idea what to do with it. Do you peel it? Boil it? Mash it? I got nothin'. As for #5, Weight Watchers Three Cheese Ziti is one of my favorite meals of all time, but the whole sodium thing always makes me put it back in the grocery store. I might just say to hell with it and start buying it again for those nights when everyone is running in thirty directions and just grabbing something. Cuz you just gave me permission to do so.
ReplyDeleteLOVE the Three Cheese Ziti, it's one of my faves. Screw sodium!!
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