Cancer. It Sucks. A Lot.

I absolutely hate cancer. Okay, okay, I know nobody really likes it. But seriously, cancer is a fucking bitch. Cancer is sneaky. It sneaks in and takes. It takes and takes. Cancer does not discriminate. Cancer takes young and cancer takes old. Cancer takes black, white, red, green, purple and yellow. Cancer takes friends and neighbors without even saying 'sorry'. You can fight cancer and some people, some amazing and wonderfully lucky people, beat that bitch. I worked with a lady in Atlantic City named Annie who successfully beat breast cancer twice. I also lost a close friend to cancer after she won the battle twice. She even told me, she wasn't feeling so lucky the third time around. And she was right. Cancer took her. Cancer left her daughters without a mother and her husband alone to raise those girls on his own.

We are lucky enough to have an amazing man in our lives, 12's Godfather Bill, who was lucky enough to receive a heart transplant some years ago. We have been lucky enough to know this man, and even luckier that we've been given an extension of our time with him. Yet, cancer decided that it would step in and fuck things up. He's been diagnosed with a malignant mass in his intestine. His heart is definitely strong enough to withstand the surgery to remove it, but sadly, his lungs are not. So he gets to play on the chemo-go-round. Lucky him. My best friend from grade school and high school just went through this awful bitch with her husband, whom I love dearly, who always makes me laugh. And he beat it but not without a price. He suffered from neuropathy due to excessive radiation. So he didn't get off scott-free. My friend Lisa has a brother who is currently going through chemo and we're hoping for the best for him. Too many lives touched.

I've had best friends lose loved ones to cancer, I've worked with countless fantastic people in Atlantic City who were taken from us by cancer. I've made some unbelievably wonderful friendships online and suffered with them as they lost their loved ones to this awful disease. And now there is a neighbor who has been hit with this fucking sickness. The father to one of my daughter's best friends, the husband of one of my own dear friends, and it has hit like a Mack truck. He's not 'lucky' enough to ride the chemo-go-round, the disease is too far gone. So now he is at home with his family around him, and they wait for this bitch to take him from them. And I am angry. I'm so angry I could scream. And saddened at this loss. He is funny, very funny, a very quick wit, and I always enjoyed our conversations. And his big black dog Riley will miss him. And that's not fair. Cancer's not fair.

So this blog is for you Howard. I dedicate this blog to you, with the hope that your passing will not be painful to you, but knowing that it will be very painful to all who know you. And I also dedicate it to Monica, who was in my wedding, and I in hers. And to Peggy. And to Jim and Annie who overcame it. And to Bill who is fighting it to the finish. I love you, I love all of you. And I hate cancer.

Please feel free to tell me who YOU'D dedicate this to. Who have you lost? And what would you tell them, if you had one more chance?

UPDATED: My friend and neighbor Howard passed away this afternoon. He will be sadly missed by all who knew him.