Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

This one time, at band camp....

Get your minds out of the gutter, Snarklings. It's not THAT kind of blog.  This ain't your momma's band camp. My oldest is at high school band camp and this is her third year (God help me she's a Junior!) up there. The band director is absolutely awesome. And the schedule that they keep there leaves very little time for anyone getting into trouble. Here's a little sample of what's going on in a typical day at band camp:

6:30 - Wake up, shower, make beds
7:30 - Breakfast
8:30 - Marching rehearsal
12:00 - Lunch
1:00 - Sectional rehearsal/full band rehearsal
3:00 - Break (swim, sleep, sports, rehearsal optional)
5:00 - Dinner
6:00 - Marching rehearsal
9:30 - Rehearsal ends
10:00 - Snack
10:45 - Everyone in cabins
11:00 - Lights out

Seriously, these kids work their asses off this week. They got there Sunday and will return on Friday late afternoon. During that time they eat well, they have a blast, but make no mistake, they work hard, and it shows. Their marching band won the equivalent of state champions last marching season. They start rehearsing in mid-July, spend a full week living at band camp, then rehearse all August long so that they are ready for their first performance at the football team's first home game. I've met some fantastic kids with amazing, awesome parents.

It's a huge band, over 140 kids. It takes 4 school buses, a truck and a trailer to haul the band and all their instruments to band competitions around our area. It also took an additional truck to haul all of their baggage, fans, sleeping bags, etc. up to band camp. HUGE undertaking. But most definitely worth it.

Next year, 13 will be a Freshman and 15 will be a Senior. They will both be at band camp together for a full week. When we were sitting at dinner the other night, the hubby and I discussed this and, at almost the exact same time, decided that we should drop them off next year and go on vacation for a week! Would it be wrong if we went to Disney without them?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

LUCKY ME!!! I won the spam lottery!

I'm looking into investment options today. Got any hot stock tips you wanna pass along? Because I have HIT the JACKPOT! Look at my spam folder:


If you add these up, I believe I may just be richer than Oprah AND Bill Gates combined! Those Euro-Million Lottery winners are SO generous! They don't even KNOW me and are willing to donate millions to me. They must REALLY like snark! And not one but TWO emails from the African Development & Mo (whoever Mo is) asking me to let them know if I'm alive or not. How can I let them know I'm alive if I'm NOT alive? Who cares?? They want to give me MONEY!!!!

And don't be sad over the death of the late Gianni Agnelli, he lived a good, long, fake life and although I never met him, he really must've loved my blog about dressing up your dogs because he left me $60,5000000.00 dollars. Generous old geezer.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over at the country club. Buying it. And talking to my real estate agent on the phone to buy some beachfront property in Kansas. I hear the beaches there are lovely this time of year.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Excuse me, I didn't order this....

Just when you thought you'd seen it all, someone else shows up and stoops even lower than you thought anyone could. One of my very favorite Snarklings, Jackie from Ohio, posted this story on my Facebook wall and asked for my opinion. Well I'll give you my opinion, Jack: YUCK!!!!!!

Folks, I don't eat at Subway. For those of you who love the joint, more power to you! I'm sure Jared is thrilled to hear it, but I've never met a Subway sandwich that I've actually enjoyed. Have I tried? You bet. More than once actually. But I'm from Jersey. We have the White House Sub Shop, which is truly second to none when it comes to subs, so pardon me if I seem spoiled, but to me, Subway is a sandwich shop, not really a 'sub shop' like we had back home. And if I didn't really care for Subway before, after reading this story and seeing these pictures, you can bet your sweet bippy I'll never eat there again.

subway penis photo
Photos from Huffingtonpost.com



I'm absolutely disgusted! I've always said that Subway subs don't have much flavor, but that's definitely NOT the flavor I was hoping for. That is just nasty, plain and simple. What in the WIDE world was this guy thinking?? First of all, the dumbass who belongs to the blurred out penis is an asshat for allowing his picture to be taken performing this sick act, and the douchecanoe who posted these pictures, well he/she's just twisted. There's just something not right about both of these nitwits. I'm not telling anyone to go and boycott this restaurant chain, I'm just saying after reading the article and seeing the pictures, you won't be seeing my snarky ass in a Subway anytime soon.

Sorry, Jared.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Oh Lord Jesus, it's a fire (or how I finished Under the Dome)

So I finally finished Under the Dome, the 1074 page book by my all-time favorite author, Mr. Stephen King. If you are still reading it and don't want to know what happens, go check out what's happening on YouTube. I hear the new One Direction video is out. (You're welcome) For the rest who have finished or who care, here we go.



Let me start by mentioning that I purchased this book LAST spring (2012) and started reading it on the auto-train on the way down to Disney last summer. I read some more of it lying by the pool at our hotel. And read a little more on the train ride back. I may have gotten to page 100, but then I put it down and never picked it back up again.

Until late May of this year. I decided to participate in the #DomeAlong, a group reading of the book with a bunch of other bloggers, hosted by Coffee and a Book Chick. This, in preparation for the miniseries on CBS. I posted my mid-way post here and am now ready to talk about the whole shebang now that I've finished reading the whole thing.

This is the first Stephen King book I've enjoyed in years! To be fair, there are a bunch that I either haven't read yet (11/22/63, Full Dark, No Stars) or have started but just lost interest (Duma Key, Just After Sunset) and some that I never, EVER intend to read (the entire Dark Tower Series**) but this is probably the best book of his that I've read since The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon. Yes, it's been a long time since I've really LOVED anything by King. Don't get me wrong, Black House was good, I loved revisiting Jack Sawyer, but it didn't grab me the same way that such old standards as It, The Stand and my favorite, The Talisman, grabbed me when I read those so many years ago. I've read each of those books at least 2 times. I may re-read The Talisman again soon too, if only to read about one of my all-time favorite King characters, Wolf (right here and now!)

Ok I'm digressing. About those little **'s up there, I'll say that I did read the first 3 books in the Dark Tower series and just couldn't stand them. I just did NOT want to pick up another book in the series, because I didn't care about any of the characters, I didn't care for the plots, I just did not like them. And that, of course, is MY opinion and I'm not hating on anyone else who thought they were the bees' knees or the cat's pajamas. If you loved them, good on ya! I'm happy for you! They just weren't my cup o'joe.

I just wanted to add this picture of Mike Vogel again because he's so flipping hot.  So sue me.
 Now getting back on the subject of Under the Dome: I. Loved. It. I cared about the characters, I wanted Julia and Barbie to hook up, I wanted Rusty and Linda's family to all make it through, I wanted the happy ending, and with the exception of about 780 residents of Chester's Mill dying, I got my happy ending. I was sad that Audrey the dog died, and that Benny and Ernie Calvert and Aiden and Thurse all died but to me they weren't as important to the story as Rusty and Linda and Julia and Barbie. I was so happy that Joe and Norrie survived too. Part of me wished that Big Jim's death was more tortuous and horrific. In the end, he deserved worse, but the image of him dying in a darkened room surrounded by the very people whose deaths he was responsible for was delicious. Very King-esque.

The huge fire that overtook most of the town from the explosion at the radio station was edge of your seat stuff! Just imagining the whole town being wiped out by a traveling wall of flames and heat was horribly entertaining. 

I couldn't help but make the connection with the aliens from this book to the alien from Dreamcatcher. Dreamcatcher's alien got inside you and controlled you, but these aliens basically put people in a situation and then watched how they handled it. Dreamcatcher's aliens were gross, these aliens were not as scary as described, but I was happy that Julia was able to connect with one and convince it to let them go. Maybe it's too neat and tidy a package, but in the end, things worked out. I like a happy ending. So sue me. But now I'm really looking forward to how they are going to go about making the miniseries even remotely similar to the book. I said this before and I'll say it again. In both the book and the show, there's a dome and a town under it. That's pretty much where the similarities end. So I'll try to enjoy the series (I'll still have Mike Vogel to appreciate as Dale Barbara) after really enjoying the book and try to keep them both as separate entities.

The opinions expressed in this blog are mine. If you don't like them, if you don't agree with them, don't try to change my mind, and please don't be argumentative. Homey don't play dat.



Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tuesday Tirade, and randomness for your reading pleasure. Oh and a giveaway!

First off, let me just say this. I got a message to call my sister in law this morning, and when I called her, she told me that our step-mother had died through the night. Turns out my niece read about it this morning on the Book of Face. What a lovely way to find out that the woman who had been married to your Dad for over 30 years had died. :insert dripping sarcasm here:

I was not ever very close with her, but she was with my Dad for longer than he was with my Mom. 5 times longer, in fact, so she must've made him happy. When my Dad passed away in 2010, she was in a rehabilitation center for her hip, and she was not at the funeral. I did find this odd, but I was grieving the loss of my Dad and no one gave me any instruction to go to the rehab center and pick her up. Neither of her own children went to pick her up, and thus, she was not at his funeral. I lost touch with her after my Dad died, and yes, I'm fully to blame for not picking up the phone and trying to reach out to her. I DID, however, write her a letter after Dad's funeral. I told her that I was sorry we had our issues when I was younger and that I'm so glad Dad had her there to care for him and to spend his last days. She never responded.

I'm just really kinda pissed off that no one bothered to contact anyone on my Dad's side. I've got 3 brothers and a sister who live in the same city that the rest live in, yet we found out about her passing on Facebook. Remind me to send Zuckerberg a thank you for giving us an avenue to learn about the passing of a loved one.

Okay, now that I've got that off my chest, I'm going to move on to the next subject. Ebates. Ebates is this cool site that I was turned onto by another blogger before last Christmas. The way it works is this: You do a lot of online shopping, right? Me too. Just ask Discover, Chase and Citibank. Now you just go directly to the Ebates website, sign up for the FREE service, find your favorite store on their vast list of stores and then you shop as you normally would! Each store lists how much cash back they're offering for purchases. For example, let's say you like Sephora. Well in today's Ebates email that I received, Sephora is offering 8% cash back for shopping their website by first going through Ebates. Easy peasy. So you go to Ebates website, sign up, click on Sephora and shop. When you make your purchase, that 8% goes into your Ebates account. They send out checks every month or two. At Christmas, I did almost all of my shopping online through Ebates and received a check in February for over $100. My friend and sister in snark, Teresa, is up to some ridiculous amount of cash back (she apparently is a hard core Ebates shopper). I'mma ask her for a loan soon.

Ebates Coupons and Cash Back 

So they are running a special offer right now where if I get people to sign up to use Ebates, I don't even have to BUY anything, they're giving me $10 for each person who signs up and make a minimum purchase of $25 from any of the stores listed on their site. Trust me, you'd have an easier time naming a store that's NOT on their site than you would trying to name all the stores that ARE there. So what do you say? Can you help a sister out? Go sign up on the Ebates site, it's free and if you make that $25 purchase, it'll get me $10. And it's all about making me money, right? Everybody's happy that way.

On another note, I put my blog on Bloglovin' which is cool because if you subscribe to a billion other blogs like I do, you can get all your newest favorite blog posts on this one site. If you're not subscribed already to Snarkfest, you can either subscribe to have my delivered hot and fresh (okay, the blog, not actually ME) to your email OR you can sign up for Bloglovin' and you can also subscribe to all your favorite bloggers there, and we'll ALL show up in your inbox daily if we've posted new stuff. There's a little button thingy on the right side that you can use for this.

Now, enough begging. Want to win some really cool stuff?? My friend Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures, along with more than 20 other bloggers are hosting a Rafflecopter Giveaway involving some kick ass prizes!

Some of the prizes include our book, "I Just Want to Pee Alone", as well as the new books by Paige Kellerman, "At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles", and Abby Heugel', "Abby Still Has Issues", a $125 Amazon.com gift certificate and some cool Vera Bradley stuff as well! Go check it out and enter! I did. And if I win, I'll be giving away my copy of "I Just Want to Pee Alone". If I DON'T win, I'm STILL going to give it away. Stay tuned, a new giveaway from Snarkfest is coming up soon!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Stupid Pet Tricks (aka Our Dumbass Cat)

In our house, we have an adorable fat cat named Cinnamon, named for her beautiful golden orange coloring. Her nickname, however, is Dumbass, named for her penchant for doing absolutely ridiculous things. Dumbass has been with us for almost 11 years. She was born on September 11, 2001. Yes, that day. It's very possible that had she been born on a different day, she'd be nicknamed Einstein rather than Dumbass. Maybe she'd have the ability to pee in the toilet, feed herself, cook dinner and do laundry. But alas, that was not to be. She is now and forever will be our little Dumbass.


"But Teri," one might say, if one were to question me, "Dumbass isn't a very nice nickname to give to that sweet, adorable little furball. Why don't you call her by her given name of Cinnamon?" Well, Sparky, I'll tell you why. Dumbass is called Dumbass because she's a Dumbass. Plain and simple. If she was a smart ass, I'd call her Smartass. If she were sarcastic like me, she'd be nicknamed Wiseass. But no. This is no ordinary Dumbass. This is a Dumbass who continually does dumbass things to retain the nickname. Maybe if she only did one or two dumbass things, we'd go back to calling her Cinnamon. But no, she continues to amaze and perform Dumbass moves, which keeps earning her that moniker.
Don't believe me? Ok, how about some history.

Back in 2004, my wonderful husband was deployed to Kuwait, leaving 15 & 13 (who were 7 & 5) and myself to fend for ourselves at home. Both girls were in before and after care at their respective schools (THANK GOD FOR THAT) and I was working 10 hour days. So I would drop the girls off at school at 6:45, work from 7:30 til 5:30 and then go back and pick the girls up and we'd all go home to have supper. One fine, cool fall morning, we did our normal routine with one exception. 7 had to get something last minute out of the fridge. She did so and ran out the door and off we went to start our day.

Fast forward to 6:00 that evening when we returned home from school and work. 7 opened the fridge to get out the juice and what surprise does she happen to find in the fridge? One very cold, very pissed off cat. "Mom" said 7, "why is Cinnamon in the fridge?" What could possibly be your reply to that question?? "WHAT??" Was about the only thing I could come up with. Had she just jumped into the fridge when 7 opened it? I picked Cinnamon up off the floor after she jumped out of the fridge and she was pretty damned cold. Not frozen, because she wasn't in the freezer, but as cold as, say a gallon of milk? Cold cuts? A jar of pickles? Yes, she was that cold. Which could only possibly mean one thing. Dumbass had begun her illustrious career as a Dumbass by getting herself trapped in the fridge for almost 12 hours. When 7 opened the fridge in the morning on her way out, Dumbass had jumped in, surely out of curiosity, and had then gotten trapped inside. Only by the grace of God, or the fact that the fridge was plugged in and thus, air was circulating, did she not die. I checked her as I held her chilly, furry butt and she looked okay. Stupid, but okay. I put her down and she walked back over to the fridge. When 5 came in to open the fridge to get herself some milk, guess who jumped back inside.

Dumbass in a fridge
 Dumbass in a fridge

And now you're thinking, 'maybe she's not all that bright, but really? It's still not a nice nickname'. Your honor, I give the court People's Exhibit B:

image
Dumbass in a drawer.

Yes, our little Dumbass just HAD to know what was in the back of that drawer. And when she got in there, she couldn't get her fat ass back out. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Why didn't you help her out?? Why did you take a picture of her struggling to get her poor little feline head out of that bad old drawer??" Because no one would believe me if I didn't have photographic proof of her Dumbass-edness. Seriously. My cat got stuck in a drawer. It sounds funny, but really, you NEED this image to actually GET how funny it was. And yes, before you ask me, once I took the picture, I DID put the camera down and help her Dumbass out. Eventually.

Then there are the normal cat-like things she does. Things like, sit in a shoebox that's obviously not her size. She probably would've preferred a size 12 shoebox but alas, my feet are only an 8 wide, so she wedged her fat ass into a size 8 shoebox:

image
Fat Dumbass in a box

We actually thought for the longest time that her ass was allergic to the floor, because if there was a piece of 8.5 X 11" paper that fell on the floor, she'd go over and lie down on it. If there was a package of toilet paper rolls on the floor, she'd climb on it and lie there, almost claiming it as her own. If we could just get her to USE the toilet paper, life would be grand. She would lie on ANYTHING that was on the floor to keep her ass from actually TOUCHING the floor. Then there are higher places:

image
Dumbass on top of a cabinet

I believe she climbed up on top of the cabinet to draw my attention to the rather large, dirty cobweb that was up there that I'm too short to reach without a ladder. Why she didn't just grab a damn paper towel and clean the damn thing herself is beyond me. But there she is, up there on top of the cabinet, looking down on everyone as is the norm for her. It's as if she's saying "Look at this awful, filthy house in which I live. Cobwebs! How uncivilized!" Little bitch.

However, she DOES have her cute moments, like when 7 came home from school one day, went into the bathroom, put down her book bag, did her stuff and left her book bag on the floor. We later found Dumbass lying on said book bag, because, God forbid her ass actually touch the floor:

image
Dumbass on a book bag.

I think this picture needs no description:

image
Dumbass in a sink.

It's almost like she's questioning my right to take her picture. Look at that face, she may as well be rolling her eyes at me.

This is, by far, one of my all time favorite pics of Dumbass:

Dumbass on ass
 Dumbass on 15's ass. (I can't remember how old 15 was in this shot).

This is another one of those pictures I'm particularly fond of:

Cat eats dog
 Dumbass doesn't like dog.

This was Henry the day we brought him home from the shelter, lying in the cat's bed. Why is Henry lying in the cats bed? Because from the second we brought that cat bed into the house, the cat has scoffed at it, questioning our sanity. "Why would you purchase that? I'll never lie down in that thing, not while there are drawers, cabinets, boxes, sinks or asses for me to lie on." That's what she says in that little Dumbass cat brain of hers. But when Henry decided he wanted to lie down in the cat bed, Dumbass would have none of it. Look at her tongue. She's obviously going to eat the dog for having the audacity to lie down on HER bed (that she's never used).

image

Yes, she IS a Dumbass and yes she DOES deserve her nickname. But she's our Dumbass and we wouldn't have her any other way.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Under the Dome, Halfway There

I'm participating in Coffeeandabookchick.com summer readalong. Visit her site here:
http://www.coffeeandabookchick.com/2013/07/under-dome-middle-of-road-post.html
If you're reading Under the Dome, Stephen King's 1074 page, 5 lb. book and you're less than halfway through, stop reading this blog post, because I will be discussing details and don't want to piss anybody off with spoilers. If you're NOT reading it but are watching the miniseries, you can keep reading because there's nothing for me to spoil. So far, the only similarity between the book and the miniseries is that there is a Dome. And a town. Under it. If you're not reading the book OR watching the miniseries, go read my friend Tracy's newest entry In the Powder Room, it's hilarious.

Image courtesy of StephenKing.com

So here I am, at the halfway point of the book Under the Dome. Barbie was just arrested as a result of being framed by Junior Rennie (who is MUCH cuter in the miniseries than in my imagination while reading the book). In the show, he doesn't strike me as the necrophiliac he is in the book, but they changed that because necrophilia doesn't play very well on CBS. Fox News, maybe, but not CBS. Big Jim Rennie is a great protagonist, much like Pennywise the Clown (IT), Morgan Sloat (The Talisman), Randall Flagg (The Stand) and The Overlook Hotel (The Shining). He controls everything, pulls all the strings and wreaks major havoc to remain in power.

I know King loves to knock off major characters at the drop of a hat, but I was so sad to see Big Jim kill Brenda Perkins (sorry if this is a spoiler, I did warn you). I wanted her around long enough to help Barbie and Julia overcome the evil Big Jim but alas, what I want matters not to Stephen King. Now that she's gone and Andrea Grinnell has tossed the incriminating papers off the table and onto the floor, no doubt hidden and forgotten about until later in the book, I'll biting my nails until that important bit of evidence against Big Jim has been found. Good thing I grew my nails out in preparation for all the nail biting I'm going to have to do.

Moving on to the rookie 'cops' who raped Sammy Bushey, I hate them all and while I'm glad that Sammy shot Georgia Roux and Frankie DeLeppses, I just wish she'd have stuck around longer and had the opportunity to kill the other 3 rapists. But again, that's why King is a multi-gajillionaire who writes amazing novels, and I'm an office manager who writes a blog. Poorly.

In my juncture in the book, Rusty and Linda are in the basement of the Bowie Funeral Home examining the bodies of Angie, Dodee, Coggins and Brenda Perkins. Rusty is JUST about to see something different in the manner in which Coggins was killed but I had to stop to run 15 somewhere, so I'm hanging on the edge of my seat until I can get back there and see what he's found and if it will exonerate Barbie.

Ah, Barbie. Dale Barbara. I do enjoy reading about him and the actor who portrays him in the series, Mike Vogel, is fairly easy on the eyes, so I'm seeing him in my head and maybe enjoying his character a little more than I should.
Photo of Mike Vogel courtesy of IMDB.com
So I'm crushed that he's been arrested with half the book left to read. I'm praying that his butt isn't rotting in jail for the rest of the story while Julia and Rusty are left to deal with everything going on. What I'm hoping is that the remaining selectman, the Keystone cops (with the exception of Linda) and the dumbasses who are at Big Jim's beck and call screw up badly and good triumphs over evil. However, this IS a Stephen King book and I've been a King fan since I picked up The Shining in fourth grade at St. Ann's and read it in the back of Sister Catherine's classroom when she wasn't looking. So I know better than to assume everything will be tied up in a nice little package with a bow.

I'm not yet to the point where Halloween happens, so I'm not reading any blogs from those who have finished the book, so don't leave me any comments on what's about to happen or I'll come to your house and eat all your food. One thing I'm disappointed in with the series (ok there are a TON of things I'm disappointed in but that's the subject of another blog) is that they cast Jeff Fahey as Duke Perkins. I really like Jeff Fahey and would've liked for him to be cast in another role, a character who would be around for awhile and not killed off in the first 45 minutes of the show. I IMDB'd Jeff Fahey and found that he was born in 1952, which makes him 61 years old. DAMN. He's one fine looking 61 year old man. I pictured Duke as an older man, probably late 50's to early 60's but NOT NEARLY as hot as Jeff Fahey. I was picturing in my little brain an actor like maybe Tom Bosley or Wilford Brimley (yes I know they are both older than 60 but I don't think EITHER of them are hot so they'd be much better in the role of Duke).

Photo of Jeff Fahey courtesy of IMDB.com
Anyway, overall I am LOVING the book and can't wait to read more. Whether or not I will finish the book prior to the end of the miniseries has yet to be determined. When I'm reading, I'm not cleaning the house, shopping for groceries, working, running the kids hither and yon. When I'm reading, I'm lost in the book. And I haven't really been lost in a book in a very long time. Maybe when the Harry Potter series was hot. I miss reading on a regular basis. But I also miss a clean house and a good home-cooked meal. Life's all about juggling. But this summer, Under the Dome is my wonderful obsession and I'm enjoying being lost in it.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Everybody needs a break sometimes.....

I took this weekend off from the internet. Thursday was July 4 and I spent the evening with some awesome friends/fellow band parents, and when I got home, I read some of my book, Under the Dome. Friday, after running a hundred errands and working out, I took my girls to see One Direction at Hershey Park. I posted exactly one image to Facebook.
15, 13 and 30776 other 'Directioners'

Saturday, I spent the day floating on the Potomac River with two of my very best girlfriends, Lisa and Susan. WHAT an amazingly relaxing time. Beer, pretzels and tons of laughter.

Me, an ice cold Shock Top, and Susan's right leg. Does it get any better than this? I think not.

I'll never leave the river again. It's my new home.
Sunday after working out, I sat on my butt and read another huge chunk of Under the Dome before going grocery shopping. Guess what I did Sunday night! If you said "get on the internet" you'd be wrong. I read even MORE of Under the Dome. I'm now more than 650 pages into this giant tome and am really enjoying it. I've gotten over the whole "nothing in the book matching what's in the mini-series" anger I had after the first episode. I ranted a little, I know, and I apologize to Mr. King. I've accepted the changes and have moved on.

I also happened to notice on Sunday that our house had become hell. While there was no fire and brimstone (only me, a short curly-haired version of Beelzebub), there was heat.

Me, short, curly-haired Beelzebub. Like it?
A hell of a lot of heat. It was 88 in the house. Our run capacitor shit the bed. And apparently, I'm the only person on earth who doesn't know what a run capacitor is. Everyone we spoke with said "Oh did your run capacitor die?" The only capacitor I am aware of is the flux capacitor from "Back to the Future". And while I didn't DRIVE 88, it was 88 degrees in our house, so I'm sure that has something to do with a flux capacitor. Whatever, it was hot.

So Monday I went back to work and right after work I had to go home and make some quick plans to get a replacement babysitter to take over for 13, who had come down with some nasty virus while babysitting, go buy ginger ale and pretzels for said sick kid, walk the neighbor's dog (the amazing and loveable Raleigh), and get 13 out of our hotter than hell house and over to Lisa's nice, cool, comfy air-conditioned house. 13 slept in the spare room for awhile and Lisa and I had dinner (LeanMoms.com meal plans are really tasty!!! She had the turkey and feta burger, I had the dijon chicken).

While we were at Lisa's, our neighbor Joe the Plumber (I'm not making that up, I swear) got his hands on a flux capacitor and drove the temperature down from 88 to a nice, cool 73. While he didn't drive up in a DeLorean, he DID make my house feel comfy.

By the time we got home from Lisa's, it was time to watch week 3 of Under the Dome. 13 and I went to bed after it was over and that was yet another day of no internet for me. No FB, no Twits. It was actually kind of nice not being connected to the computer. I actually enjoyed it. I may do that more often.

That doesn't mean I don't love you, you gorgeous snarklings, it just means real life got in the way and it didn't suck. Don't worry, I will never quit you.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Tuesday Tirade - westboro baptist "church"

Warning, this rant will contain some filthy language. (Sorry Aunt Pat). But I'm really sick and tired of the shit-stirrers known as the westboro baptist 'church' and their sick and twisted logic. I'm not capitalizing anything in their name and won't refer to them as anything other than 'fucktards' from here on out. These fucktards spend their lives making other peoples' lives miserable (or trying to, here's a shout out to those who stand up to them and don't let them near grieving families to protest funerals of the innocent). These fucktards have protested military funerals, funerals for innocent victims of crazed asshats like those poor children in Newtown and now they want to protest the funerals for the 19 members of the Granite Mountain Hot Shots, who lost their lives battling a wildfire in Arizona this past Sunday. Sorry but I don't think so. And neither does Arizona Congresswoman Kyrsten Sinema, who posted this on her Twitter page:

courtesy: Twitter
I'm all for freedom of speech, but there's a difference between being able to speak your peace respectfully, and forcing your twisted point of view down peoples' throats with signs that say "God hates fags". By the way, I talked with God, He doesn't hate fags. But He's not crazy about hate-mongers. And people who disrupt the funerals of heroes. And that's what those 19 men were: HEROES.



So screw you and your insane, homophobic, racist beliefs and your hateful agenda. Take your "God hates fags" signs and shove them where the sun doesn't shine.

And by the way, God doesn't hate One Direction either, asshats.