|Weird pic courtesy of cdn.trendhunterstatic.com|
Seriously, this is an actual paragraph from the website:
The Breast Milk Baby simulates the breast-feeding process by including a fashionable halter-top that a young girl can put on like a vest and when she brings the Breast Milk Baby doll’s mouth up to the pretty flower decoration on the vest the doll makes a soft, suckling sound. The two flowers on the halter are positioned where the nipples would be and when the mouth of the doll is brought close to the embedded sensors in the flower, the baby makes motions and suckling sounds. After the feeding motion the doll makes crying sounds to be burped and swaddled.
Isn't that discriminatory against young boys? Why not have Cowboys and Indians on the fashionable halter-top simulating nipples instead of flowers? (Oh, because Cowboys and Indians aren't PC anymore either.) Why can't boys AND girls breastfeed? Oh yeah, because NEITHER of them can produce breast milk. Because they are CHILDREN. And CHILDREN shouldn't have to grow up too fast. When I was a kid, Baby Alive was all the rage. She peed and pooped after you fed her. I was completely grossed out by that. Why? Because I was a KID. What kid do you know WANTS to see a dirty, shitty, smelly diaper? And what child has gone to his/her mother and said "Wow Mommy, I wish I could produce milk, I wish MY breasts would become so engorged with milk that they feel like two giant freaing water balloons on the verge of bursting, I wish I could have milk leaking out of my boobies at the most inopportune times. I wish I knew what it felt like to have a baby with razor-sharp teeth gnawing at two of the most sensitive parts of my body." I'll tell you who. NO ONE.
And on another really bizarre subject, sort of related, this was brought to my attention the same night this Breast Milk Baby was: Woman Breastfeeds Her Pug
You read that right. From the Huffington Post Weird News, this woman didn't breastfeed her own children (and there is NOTHING wrong with NOT breastfeeding your babies either, so don't get your panties in a bunch) but she DID feed her pug, Spider, for 2 years.
|Weirder pic courtesy of gawkerassets.com|
In other boob news, how about the 51-year old woman in Washington who reportedly used her breasts to try to kill her boyfriend in a fight. And apparently she was pretty successful, seeing as he died. Of suffocation. That's a new way of using sex as a weapon. Death by boobage.
I love a happy ending. They do too. Just look at how happy they are!
|Photo courtesy faildaily.blogspot.com|